'They acted like middle school bullies': Vengeful bride and friends spoil difficult mother-in-law's wedding make up, get reprimanded by husband

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 13, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

The only thing that's harder than navigating the intricacies of marriage is doing that while also managing your in-laws. While you might not spend as much time with your partner's parents as you do with your partner, a difficult mom or dad can put major pressure on an otherwise acceptable relationship. If they don't treat you like they should, it can be all too tempting to clap back—but the reality is that you can't usually do this without consequences.

Nonetheless, that doesn't stop some slighted spouses from attempting their revenge. This was the subject of a recent AITA thread, in which a bride purposefully asked her make-up artist to ruin the look of her rude mother-in-law at her wedding. When her husband accused her of being mean and immature, she wasn't pleased. However, most Redditors did not look at her behavior kindly. It seems like this is a toxic family dynamic wherever you look.  

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Naive-Degree-3529 • 17h AITA for expressing discomfort about my wife and her friends pranking my mom on our wedding day?
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 02
    My mom hasn't been the greatest in the past. She can be really rude and was catty. She didn't get off to a good start with my wife due to her own rude and self centered behavior, but I took my wife's side and laid down boundaries. My mom gets that she can't be rude these days. I fully get my wife will never like her, mom probably won't like her either, and we all just avoid each other for the most part. Don't get me wrong. It makes me sad as I used to be close to my family, but wife comes first.
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 03
    We recently got married and it was a nearly perfect day. The one issue that aroused is my mom had a fairly large very noticeable food coloring stain on her cheek (about the size of a lighter) Obviously she wasn't happy about this and wanted it covered. She never does her own makeup and knows very little about makeup. The makeup artist was a friend of my wife's, and knew all the drama about my mom. She told her she would try but the makeup would have to be darker to hide it. She and my wife giggl
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 04
    I didn't know about this at the time, but we recently got back from our honeymoon and my wife hosted a dinner to look at wedding pictures. Her friends all began laughing about what they did to my mom. This was the first time I heard about it and I said that was kind of mean girlish. My wife gave me a look. Her friends kept saying it was funny and my mom is dumb and got what she deserved. At this point I got annoyed and said they acted like middle school bullies and they should be embarrassed. Wh
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 05
    When they left my wife became very upset and said I should be on her side 100% not 95% and that I humiliated her by speaking to her friends like that. She accused me of being a mama's boy.
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 06
    bamf1701 17h Craptain [160] NTA. You were correct - your wife was acting like a middle school bully, not an adult. And being her husband does not mean you support her blindly, it means you have the courage to tell her when she is going down a bad path. This is not being a mama's boy, this is being a good and moral human being. If she wants you to be behind her 100%, then she needs to act like a grown-up.
    via bamf1701
  • 07
    CoquilleSaintJacques 16h This was cruel, period.
    via CoquilleSaintJacques
  • 08
    NTA Prize-Bumblebee-2192 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] What your wife did was cruel and came from an ugly place. It was beyond unkind. It was downright mean. You spoke the truth and your wife didn't like how she looked when you held up the mirror.
    via Prize-Bumblebee-2192
  • 09
    situationship321 16h Yeah, it sounds like the wife has reason not to like MIL, but instead of taking the high road she was cruel and a bully. This was petty and mean and really unkind. I hope it's just that your wife needs to grow up a bit (I was slow to learn compassion for others in my own life, so maybe she is the same?). I'm upset for you because she didn't take your feelings into account before this mean girl trick. You stood up for your wife with your mom, and I feel like she just sh*t all
    via situationship321
  • 10
    cordelia1955 17h Enthusiast [6] NTA. It looks like you're going to have to set some boundaries with your wife. After you did that with your mom she behaved. You married a mean, childish, vindictive woman. The fact that she got defensive with you and called you a mamma's boy says so much about her. In the beginning, my mother was horrible to my husband--both my first and second. Neither of my mils liked me much either. But we didn't resort to meanness or sniping. This could get to be a lifelong t
    via cordelia1955
  • 11
    statslady23 16h Partassipant [2] I'm wondering if it wasn't the wife's fault the whole time and OP was just love (or something else) blind.
    via statslady23
  • 12
    NTA CrystalQueen3000 17h Prime Ministurd [471] Your wife sure is one though If there's already a difficult relationship then what she did just made it worse, and giggling about it with her friends at dinner just makes it worse She is a bully
    via CrystalQueen3000
  • 13
    throwaway55880 15h NTA. However, so are your spouse and her pals. Be prepared for worse conduct; your wife escalated her bullying of you, your mom listened to you and changed her ways. You two need therapy to agree on boundaries and loyalty if you truly love her and want a respectable life. Whatever you are—a shaman, a pastor, a therapist-you need another brain in this mix.
    via throwaway55880
  • 14
    C_Alex_author 16h Enthusiast [6] NTA - Is your wife 12?? She sacrificed her own wedding day pictures to humiliate and one-up your mom. She has the type of friends that gang up with her to behave this way too??? She could have gone the dignified and polite route and not tried to mean-girl her MIL, who was at least trying to behave that day. It would have been completely different had your mom acted up or tried to ruin things or cause issues that day. but she didn't - she was only there to support
    via C_Alex_author
  • 15
    Naive-Degree-3529 OPâš« 16h Her face was photoshopped and the pictures came out great 90+ Whiteroses7252012 15h That's so not even close to the point. Even if I detested my MIL- and I don't, shes my second mom- I have way too much respect for my husband to pull like this.
    via Naive-Degree-3529
  • 16
    NidorinoBeano 17h Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] Nta I would reconsider the person you married
    via NidorinoBeano
  • 17
    mifflewhat 16h Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] NTA but your wife is. The expectation that you should side with your wife, not only against your mom's aggressions toward her, but also in her aggressions toward your mother, is really - I don't even know what to say. Just super problematic IMO. Is she going to be this nasty and get a group together to bully you the first time you really her off?
    via mifflewhat
  • 18
    nice52 17h Partassipant [4] You married a bully... she hid it well I guess but that's a huge red flag
    via nice52
  • 19
    NTA. Frankensteins_Kid 16h Partassipant [3] When they left my wife became very upset and said I should be on her side 100% not 95% and that I humiliated her by speaking to her friends like that. She accused me of being a mama's boy. I think you just got a glimpse of your future here, buddy. She's probably gonna do more unacceptable things in the future (whether to your mom or anybody else) and gaslight you to support her doings simply because you guys are married.
    via Frankensteins_Kid
  • 20
    Fluid_Response_6062 15h Might be unpopular opinion, but ESH. Your mother has been an absolute Monster in Law regarding your wife for the entirety of your relationship, as you've shared here. This behavior is absolutely unacceptable and you should have put your foot down about it ages ago. Instead, you let it fester and grow to the point that your wife decided petty vengeance on her wedding day was more important than enjoying getting married to the man who she loves and is supposed to love her i
    via Fluid_Response_6062
  • 21
    Not only that, but her friend who is a make up artist? If this story circles around enough and enough people connect the dots, it's going to negatively affect her career. This sort of wedding drama story is the kind of stuff tiktokers and reddit youtubers love to read, so I can promise you in 24 hours someone is going to start spreading it around. No one is going to want to hire a make up artist who is willing to go along with an attempt of embarrassing the groom's mother like that. Doesn't matt
    via Fluid_Response_6062
  • 22
    Your mother now knows she can get away with treating your wife like , because you'll never fully cut her off and make sure she sees actual solid consequences for her actions. Your wife now knows she can be petty and cruel in return, because she got away with it on such an important day, one of the most important in many couples' lives, without thinking about you and your feelings. And you've shown you're willing to let this happen, because you didn't do anything about it to seriously set firm en
    via Fluid_Response_6062

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aita bride marriage groom wife relationships husband wedding in laws prank mother in law family make up reddit thread Reddit
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