18 Hilariously Absurd Animal Anecdotes That People Confessed On The Internet

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Mar 27, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

If you have any pets, you've definitely accumulated a few funny stories with them during your time together. Maybe a howlariously hongry doggo stole a whole chicken off the counter, or your cat jumped into the toilet out of curiosity, and then immediately after ran around the house shaking toilet water everywhere while screaming. None of these have happened to us, of course (we're joking), and although these stories aren't really funny in the moment, they make very laughable memories a few years down the line.

We found a hilariously absurd thread of people confessing some of their most ridiculous animal anecdotes on the internet, and the internet did not disappoint! Prepare yourselves for some seriously silly animal-themed stories below, and get some tissues ready because you are sure to be crying from laughing so hard. Who knows, you might even find someone with a story similar to yours! 

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  • 01
    silentarcher00 - 7 days ago So my mum and I were walking our dog Max in a the park and heading back towards the car when he jumped into the river and waded under a bridge. This was all pretty normal, he always jumped in there but this day the river was pretty low and he got further under the bridge than normal. Mum and I carried on when he suddenly shot past us at fill 'excited' speed dripping wet and carrying something in his mouth...
    via u/silentarcher00
  • 02
    Well, we exchanged a glance, not entirely believing what we had just seen our dog carrying at full speed directly towards the kiddy play area, but couldn't deny it when a couple of mum's pushing prams suddenly yelled "that dog's got a and fell about laughing. Max had found this large green rubber d do under the bridge and he thought it was the greatest toy ever! And suddenly all these people were there playing 'keep away' with him and he was getting loads of attention! Probably the funniest bit
    via u/silentarcher00

    That dog has got a what?? We can't even imagine how silly this must have been, a dog running around with a giant…toy in its mouth. Well, they kind of do look like chew toys, don't they?

  • 03
    Eventually he put it down amd we distracted him enough that he left it. We just ran back to the car and abandoned it by the river (a bit further away from the playground). Still the dumbest story I have of that dog, followed by the time he knocked. himself out by running to play with another dog and not stopping, colliding head on with said pup...
    via u/silentarcher00
  • 04
    Mimikker 7 days ago We have always been a cat house with usually a minimum of three, a max of fourteen. You know how cats like to bring you gifts at your doorstep like and mice? Gladys once brought us a roast birds potato. We still have no idea where she got it.
    via u/Mimikker

    Listen, some people like birds, and others like baked potatoes. You can't blame Gladys for having a different palette than their brothers and sisters. Gladys wants what Gladys wants!

  • 05
    When I got my first house, I rescued a Bullmastiff from the local kennels, then not long after I rehomed a kitten. The introductions were slow as I wasn't sure of the dogs background and whenever I left the house I locked the kitten upstairs. Fast forward a few months and I was often left very confused after coming home to find the cat and dog sitting. together downstairs, sure I'd closed the door to keep the kitten in. I eventually figured out what was going on. One day I came home and hadn't h
    via u/JessJJC
  • 06
    PickleHarry 8 days ago I used to have a lovely King Charles Spaniel. He was so loving, friendly, and daft as a brush. He was also pretty well trained and never took food he wasn't supposed to, my Dad would even put a piece of steak of his knee and the dog would sit centimetres from it and not even try to eat it until my Dad 'OK'.
    via u/PickleHarry
  • 07
    One day we were having a curry and the dog came up to us really slowly, then very slowly and very sneakily he took a poppadom in his teeth and bolted off with it. It was hilarious. He was always so well behaved but something about this poppadom was so tempting that he just couldn't help. himself. Afterwards my Dad would sing 'poppadom thief, you're in trouble deep' to the tune of Papa Don't Preach at him.
    via u/PickleHarry
  • 08
    troni91 7 days ago In my first flat, I had this cat who was obsessed with food. So from my sitting room, you could see into my bedroom and under the bed. I got up for a drink in the middle of the night, happened to glance down at the edge of my bed, and there was a foot in my slipper!! Well it wasn't a foot, my cat had found a whole pack of bacon, and hid the remains in my slipper.
    via u/troni91
  • 09
    Rubbish_69-7 days ago edited 7 days ago My exh was a vet. He told me stories about a client's notoriously aggressive gsd who was due an operation the next day and the whole team were worried about handling it safely without anyone being injured. Exh came home that afternoon with deep gashes down his chin, throat and onto his chest so I was alarmed he'd had a bit of a struggle with the dog prior to sedating and anaesthetising it. Turns out the gashes were caused by a pet bunny raking its back leg
    via u/Rubbish_69
  • 10
    MatMcMashadar - 8 days ago I used to have cats with my ex. I remember coming home one day and looking through the living room window where one was fully wide awake cleaning herself. Opened the door and walked right in to her and she was fully pretending that she was asleep. Like, I've literally just watched you licking your own hoop and now your acting like you've been asleep for hours?
    via u/MatMcMashadar
  • 11
    db020719 7 days ago When I was 16 I got my own flat and adopted a kitten to keep me company. First Christmas in the flat and I got myself a real tree as I was embracing this whole Christmas thing. As days go by I smell cat poo, search high and low and can't find anything, thinking it must be cats farts or something. Later near Christmas Day, as I put presents under the tree the smell is so strong and I discover the cat had been pooping in the pot I had planted the tree in. Never had another real
    via u/db020719
  • 12
    HappyTrifler 7 days ago • I'm in the US and I moved across country for grad school (several decades ago). I brought my cat George with me. Now George was super smart. He played fetch, I took him on walks with a leash, he knew his name and followed basic commands. My friends used to laugh and say he had escaped from a government experimental facility where they were making super smart animals. He even learned to turn on the radio by smacking the button on top. He'd get out of his cat bed, walk to
    via u/HappyTrifler
  • 13
    When I moved for grad school, I moved to an area that had mostly families and was not a 'university area.' George was never an outside cat but once or twice he did manage to get out. My neighbors laughed because I'd stand outside and yell his name, like I was scolding a child, and he'd come running home. The second time he got out, I was calling him for like ten minutes before I saw him coming home. He was slowly walking down the street, shepherding this tiny fluff ball of a puppy to come with h
    via u/HappyTrifler
  • 14
    I had no idea where this puppy came from but it looked well cared for and obviously wasn't a stray. George was pissed when I put him in the house without the puppy. I picked up the puppy and started wandering the neighborhood. I got about four streets away when I saw a crying little boy walking with his dad, calling out some name. I called out and the little boy shrieked for joy and ran at me. It was obviously his puppy. I explained that my cat got out and came home with the puppy. The dad was g
    via u/HappyTrifler
  • 15
    It turns out they lived about 10 streets from me and the puppy had been in their back yard in a pen. George had actually gone through their fence, into their back yard, somehow pushed open the pen door, and then lured the puppy out. Then he basically walked him 10 streets back home like a shepherd dog. It's was like a mini crime spree (trespassing, dognapping, etc). And when I got home he was so mad that I gave away his friend that he ignored me for days. Like the little he was.
    via u/HappyTrifler
  • 16
    ilovewineandcats · 7 days ago One of my cats (a bengal we rehomed during lock down as he was destroying his elderly owner's home) has a thing for the bath plug. Well really its the chain that attaches the plug to the bath that he likes. If he gets in the bathroom for an extended period (especially at night) he will chew/bat/claw at it for hours until he somehow manages to detach it and will then do a series of victory roars/yowls. He also likes to bring massive cordyline leaves from a neighbours
    via u/ilovewineandcats
  • 17
    FlyingFox2022 7 days ago Obscure one but my mums tortoise is an escapologist. My nan was looking after the tortoise whilst we were away and lost her for a couple of days. She searched and searched and looked for holes where she might have dug into someone else's garden. But there was nothing. She told all her neighbours and a couple of days later the next door neighbour two doors down found her and returned her. Then she went missing again. Same situation, ended up in a garden nearby.
    via u/FlyingFox2022
  • 18
    Finally my nan decided she needed to figure out how this animal was getting out as there were no holes, none of the neighbours were leaning over to get her. After watching her for a while she witnessed this reptile scaling a 5 foot fence! She was climbing not digging! Absolutely insane. She was popped in a penned area with a lid for the duration of her stay at Chez Nan! This was back in the 90s. Sadly Nan has gone but the tortoise lives on! She's about 65 now.
    via u/FlyingFox2022
  • 19
    HeyBuddyItsMeDad 7 days ago . edited 7 days ago I used to have an old lady who lived next door, she used to send her golden retriever Rocky to the same doggy day care we sent our lab to. One day, when we went to collect our pup, she was there to collect her dog Rocky. But she didn't realise there had been a mix up with another golden retriever. She took home a different golden named Jackson, same age and size etc. She started wondering why on Earth the dog was so comfortable to get on the sofa,
    via u/HeyBuddyItsMeDad
  • 20
    while the old Lady was unaware what exactly was going on. Just as she started to suspect something was really wrong, she got a call from the centre that there had been a mix up and Rocky was actually taken home by another couple. They exchanged back dogs the rest was history
    via u/HeyBuddyItsMeDad
  • 21
    angelindisguise · 7 days ago When our cat were kittens they were obsessed with pompoms from the craft shop. Little did I know both my husband and I were regularly topping them up. They were cheap and kept them happy. Then I moved a chest of drawers and found literally hundreds of pompoms. I let the kittens go absolutely killing the tribbles that emerged and still have half a carrier bag of survivors.
    via u/angelindisguise
  • 22
    goodmythicalmickey 7 days ago We had some tropical archerfish at one point, the ones who spit water to get their food to fall in. There was probably a 1cm gap between the lid and the edge of the tank. One day, I noticed two wet spots on my jeans, looked up and the fish had been spitting out of this 1 cm gap onto me. My husband assumed this meant they were hungry and were trying to get food down so he fed them and they stopped. This happened a few times over the next 2 weeks, and every time he go
    via u/goodmythicalmickey
  • 23
    YouKnew WhatIWas 7 days ago I volunteer at an animal centre, at one time we had a Bengal cat. Bengals are super curious and also talk a lot. They can have really different voices to other cats. Once he got out of his pod and I had to low speed chase him up and down the hall while he casually kept just out of my reach, the whole time ACTUALLY SAYING "No. No. No!" When I managed to grab him he said """NO WHYYYyyyyyy" like a dying battery while I carried him back to his pod.
    via u/YouKnewWhatIWas
  • 24
    tmlynch 7 days ago We had a beagle who was too smart for our own good. One day my wife made an AWESOME roast chicken, liberally spiced. It was amazing. We had to go out, but we weren't complete rubes. We knew our dog was a pig, so we pushed the roaster pan with the rest of the chicken to the back of the kitchen counter, as far away from the dog and his counter surfing snout and paws as possible.
    via u/tmlynch
  • 25
    Step one: bump the small chair out from under the telephone desk in the dining room. (Yes, this was the land line era. Yes, we knew to push all chairs in to prevent the dog from climbing.) Step two: climb the chair, then climb on the desk. Step three: jump from the desk to the breakfast bar (human chest height) between the kitchen and the dining room.
    via u/tmlynch
  • 26
    Step four: walk around the kitchen counter to the other side of the kitchen to get to the pan, eat all the meat off the outside of the skeleton, lap up all the spiced grease in the pan then jump down Step five: horrific mess. On the one hand, we were a bit proud that our special boy had mastered object permanence, when many dogs never do.
    via u/tmlynch
  • 27
    Vixen Ross 7 days ago We have a cat visitor that comes round my dad's garden to patrol his turf. His nickname is "ham cat" because he stole ham from my son's sandwich once. I swear this cat said "alright!" To me in cat-ese. I was hanging washing out, I see ham cat, and say "hi hammy" cat looks up, acknowledging me and says "meaw" and carries on patrolling his territory!
    via u/VixenRoss
  • 28
    SarNic88 7 days ago This morning I heard yowling coming from the bathroom, went in and couldn't see anything and the noise had stopped. All of a sudden I get tapped on the head, look up and our 8 month old kitten is standing on the top of the open door... I can only assume he climbed up the bathrobes then realised he was stuck so just made a noise till I came to get him!
    via u/SarNic88

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