‘I tried to tell you…’: Couple Refuses to Accept Assistance From Female Manager, So She Sends Them to New Male Hire Who Hasn’t Even Finished His Training

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Sienna Varady
Mar 26, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Our choices are influenced by unconscious bias, whether or not we choose to recognize it. It is how, in the end, we decide whom to avoid, whom to befriend, and, most importantly, whom to turn to when we are in need…

The story that follows is an account of a young woman who was affected by unconscious bias while simply attempting to do her job. The Original Poster (OP) is a department manager in a big box hardware store. Everything was going fairly well at the store until a couple came in one day asking for a five-gallon oil-based primer. They declined to accept help from a female employee because they thought a woman couldn't possibly be as knowledgeable as her male peer. OP complied cleverly and led them to the first male employee—who just so happened to be new—after realizing that her attempts to negotiate with the arrogant client were futile.

Having said that, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in learning the specifics of what happened and how OP handled the situation like a pro! After you're done, don't forget to check out this collection of 34 hilarious relationship memes!

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  • 01
    I managed the paint department. I had three associates who worked for me. They loved me as a boss because I bought them a department radio, took the shifts they didn't want. (worked Friday close and Saturday mid so my two younger guys could have time to have fun on Friday nights and the older gentleman took early Saturday mornings so they could sleep off their fun. In trade, I gave the older gentleman his ideal schedule.) My team was awesome.
    via canva
  • 02
    You want a man to help you? No problem! One will clock in soon.
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 03
    This happened sixteen years ago. When I was about 20 years old, I was a department manager in a big box hardware store. People said I acted 25, but I didn't even look 18. As a young female, I saw my fair amount of s al di ination, but the worst always came from women. This is the story of one such woman.
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 04
    I managed the paint department. I had three associates who worked for me. They loved me as a boss because I bought them a department radio, took the shifts they didn't want. (worked Friday close and Saturday mid so my two younger guys could have time to have fun on Friday nights and the older gentleman took early Saturday mornings so they could sleep off their fun. In trade, I gave the older gentleman his ideal schedule.) My team was awesome.
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 05
    One day I was in the department alone and a lady came up and asked me where she could find the five gallon oil based primer. I let her know that my location didn't carry the five gallon size of that primer. She told me that we did and said that it was shelved "right there" while suggesting I was too st id to remember. (Her husband gave me an apologetic look.) I let her know that another location had what she was looking for and that it was in fact in that
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 06
    exact location in that store. She let me know how st pid she thought I was for thinking she could mix up stores. Then, she began yelling and loudly insisting that I get a MAN out there to help her because she wanted someone competent and not a st pid little girl. Her husband actually tried to step in at that point but I just smiled and let her know that a male paint associate would be clocking in any minute
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 07
    and that I would be happy to direct him to her as soon as he is on the clock. I smiled and waited for Joe to clock in. Joe was great and I knew he could handle this or I wouldn't have put him in this situation, but Joe was also new. He was learning things super quick, but still relied on the rest of us for help. When I saw Joe walking up, I quickly said that there was a customer who needed help. I let
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 08
    him know that she was upset and asked him to do his best to answer her questions. Joe walked up to the lady. She said, “Finally, a man!" She asked her question, explained where the product SHOULD BE, and waited. Joe calmly let her know that he had never seen us carry five gallon size of oil based primer, but said he could check with the paint department manager. She was happy and loudly said she
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 09
    was happy to be getting some REAL help. Joe walked up to me and started to ask me about five gallon oil based primers. The lady quickly walked up and asked him what he was doing. He turned and said, "This is my manager. She runs this department." The husband laughed out loud, the woman stormed off, and I bought Joe lunch!
    via u/MoonLover10792
  • 10
    catchmeeifyoucan I had a really similar experience, I worked in a large appliance store and an older woman came in to buy a washing machine. I was in my early 20s and looked very young. Anyway, I went up to help her and she stated she would like a man to help her please. I said ok, and went to get one
    via u/catchmeeifyoucan
  • 11
    of my male colleagues (I told him she had requested a man). The whole way through the sale when she asked a question he'd say, hang on, let me just check with the expert and come and chat with me for a moment. He knew very well what the answer was, in fact he had trained me, but he was a golden soul.
    via u/catchmeeifyoucan
  • 12
    Mulanisabamf Bless that man and everything he loves
    via u/Mulanisabamf
  • 13
    spiritsarise What a great compliment.
    via u/spiritsarise
  • 14
    harrywwc that. was. AWESOME! brilliant work :) and good for you spotting Joe's lunch as a reward :)
    via u/harrywwc
  • 15
    Odd-Astronaut-92 I loved it when I was working and people refused my help because I'm a woman! I worked at GameStop. Anytime they'd demand my store manager I would go get her with glee. She was a 50+ year old woman who
    via u/Odd-Astronaut-92
  • 16
    didn't even really play games, which meant that not only did they have to deal with a different woman, they were losing my 20+ years gaming experience. ②
    via u/Odd-Astronaut-92
  • 17
    HaddaHeart I managed a menswear store. Didn't matter how old the man I was working with was. Could be a part time high school kid, people always went up to him first. Or straight up refused my help, stating they'd prefer a man. We called it "guy in a tie syndrome".
    via u/HaddaHeart
  • 18
    canadianstringer Well played OP! Any bets on how long the husband was sleeping on the couch after that?
    via u/canadianstringer
  • 19
    Ich_mag_Kartoffeln I always have suspicions about a couple's relationship when I go to other people's houses and the couch is incredibly comfortable to sleep on....
    via u/Ich_mag_Kartoffeln
  • 20
    WhatYouLeaveBehind You should have had Joe just say "I'm sorry ma'am, perhaps I should just deal with your husband on this matter"
    via u/WhatYouLeaveBehind
  • 21
    vivalalina That would've been chefs kiss
    via u/vivalalina
  • 22
    CoderJoe1 She painted herself into a corner by demanding a man and assuming you weren't knowledgeable.
    via u/CoderJoe1
  • 23
    bestpotatolover My parents used to have 2 small hardware stores in small villages, with the stereotypical older people requesting the male clerk to help them. My father, who was mostly on the floor to answer customers, was always redirecting those people to
    via u/bestpotatolover
  • 24
    woman employees, saying things like "oh, for paint, Caroline is the best, she will be able to help you out". Not much, buy I hope a few people learned their lessons. And I can gladly say that me and my 2 brothers will never be asking for a male or female employee at a store as we were raised in the middle of such situations.
    via u/bestpotatolover
  • 25
    rudicrow Joe sounds like a great guy. And so do you.
    via u/rudicrow
  • 26
    1968Bladerunner Great story, but the part that shines for me is you, as a manager, giving people the shifts that work best for their lives. That's pure gold IMHO.
    via u/1968Bladerunner

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