Grandparents Defy Parents Wishes and Pierce Baby Girl’s Ears, Parents Vow to Never Allow Grandparents Near Baby Again, Family Dispute Ensues

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Mar 28, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Your parents undoubtedly want the best for you. They would never put you in danger and they would never, ever go against your wishes in an attempt to offend you or overstep your bounds. Having said that, how would you react if your parents attempted to decide on matters that would affect your child without first seeking your input?

That's exactly what the story below is about. After giving birth to a baby girl, the Original Poster (OP) refuses to have her child's ears pierced, even though her parents are insistent about it. Nevertheless, in spite of OP's concerns, her parents chose to pierce their granddaughter's ears without asking for their consent. As could be expected, a bold decision such as the one mentioned above caused a rift in the mother-daughter dynamic, with OP, vowing that she would never again leave her child unaccompanied with her mother.

That being said, be sure to read the story below if you're interested in finding out the specifics of what happened and whether or not OP's mother expressed regret for defying her daughter's authority. When you're done, don't forget to read the story about the male healthcare worker who demanded that his female colleague keep her feminine hygiene products hidden from view as it made him feel uncomfortable!

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  • 01
    I told them that I would save them for her until she was old enough to get her ears pierced. We left my daughter with my parents while we went to meet up with some friends. When we went to pick up my daughter my mom showed us that we didn't need to wait because they had taken her to get her ears pierced.
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for telling my mom and dad that they have to get their noses pierced if they want to see my daughter again?
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 03
    My husband and I travel down to Mexico. to visit with my family. I am an American citizen my mom and dad are not. My mom and dad got my daughter earrings for her birthday. My daughter's ears are not pierced. She is only one year old. I told them that I would save them for her until she was old enough to get her ears pierced.
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 04
    We left my daughter with my parents while we went to meet up with some friends. When we went to pick up my daughter my mom showed us that we didn't need to wait because they had taken her to get her ears pierced. I got my daughter and I dragged my husband out of there before he lost his st. We went back to our hotel. I am furious. My husband said that my
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 05
    parents are not allowed to spend time alone with my daughter ever again. I went farther. I said that I would not be bringing her, or any other kids we might have, down here to see my parents. We checked out three days early and went home. On the way home my parents were calling me to see when we were coming over. I ignored all the calls and texts until we were back home in Phoenix.
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 06
    We took a couple of days to think things over and cool down. I finally called them. I asked them not to speak until I was done talking. I told them that my husband and I are upset with them for getting our baby's ears pierced without our permission. I told them that we went back home and probably wouldn't be visiting for a while.
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 07
    They said that my sister and I both had pierced ears when we were babies and that it did not harm us. I said that we were not going to change our minds. They started getting everyone including my grandmother to call me and say I was being ridiculous. I talked with my husband and we came up with a compromise. We agreed that we would resume visits, but not alone
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 08
    time, with them if they both got their noses pierced. They said that we are being stupid and that they are not going to do that. I said no problem and hung up. We have started blocking anyone who tries to call us and give us st for denying my parents their RIGHT to see my daughter.
    via u/New_Army_5718
  • 09
    Ready_Tank_7463 Partassipant [3] NTA. I read your "ultimatum” as more tongue-in-cheek. Not that you're actually expecting them to get their noses pierced but that you're simply enforcing a NC boundary (knowing that they're obviously not getting themselves pierced). I think that's fine and fair.
    via u/Ready_Tank_7463
  • 10
    What they did was wrong on so many levels. And since they refuse to apologize or take accountability for their huge lapse of judgment, I think going NC is appropriate.
    via u/Ready_Tank_7463
  • 11
    Glasgowghirl67 Partassipant [1] Same, if you are the grandparent or aunt or uncle then you don't do stuff like this behind the parents back then expect to be trusted again. I get in some cultures it is normal for them to pierce the child's ears when young but if the parent says no respect that.
    via u/Glasgowghirl67
  • 12
    torolf_212 Personally, I'd hold firm to the nose piercing ultimatum, then if they actually did it, still stay NC NTA, parents are dangerous. Going to the police would have been a good first step
    via u/torolf_212
  • 13
    mellow-drama These posts just blow my mind. Grandparents want to do something. Parent says, no (in this case, daughter is too young for that). Grandparents do it anyway in this case PHYSICALLY ALTERING the child's body against their parents' wishes. Parent takes child and leaves, and grandparents -
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 14
    who are supposed to be having a visit - don't hear from parent for days, even past the time that the vacation was supposed to happen. Grandparent thinks "Wow. I didn't think it was a big deal but my kid is so mad they took their kid home, cut their vacation short, without even saying goodbye AND they haven't spoken to me in days. Should I (A) apologize and
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 15
    take accountability for having gone against their wishes with their kid, even though I personally don't think their rule made sense, or (B) double down and imply they're overreacting and tell them that I expect them to accept that I can do whatever I want to their child and they have no say, or (C) Do B plus call all of my friends and our family, cry to them about how I'm such
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 16
    s my a victim, and ask them to h child about how sad I am and how awful they're being. Yup, definitely C!" Half of being a mature adult is accepting accountability when you're wrong. It's so easy. And the higher the stakes - say, for example, whether or not you're allowed to have a relationship with your own adult child and their family - the easier it should
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 17
    be to admit that you crossed a line. But nope, parents would rather be righteous than happy. After all, how DARE their child (who is a grown, married adult and parent of their own child) think they don't have to obey?? How DARE their child try to impose any rules or boundaries around their own family or child, DON'T THEY KNOW WHO I AM??? I, who CHOSE to have a
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 18
    child, actually fed and clothed that child when it was helpless and I was required to care for the life I CHOSE to bring into the world. That means the child owes me obedience in everything and forevermore!!! Like, the nose piercing thing is ridiculous but if they'd just apologized, and given some space and time, I assume the OP would have let
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 19
    them.visit eventually, even if not unsupervised. But instead of apologizing they put on this whole show and turned the entire family against the OP simply for saying "Hey it's not okay that you went behind my back, a ed the trust I placed in you to care for my child, and permanently altered my child's body after I explicitly said it's not happening."
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 20
    Stick to your g s, OP. If your parents would rather be "right" than have you in their life, then they aren't the kinds of people you want as role models for your kids anyway. NTA.
    via u/mellow-drama
  • 21
    Personal-Ask5025 Self righteousness is a weird thing. I've seen it come out in my parents in regard to my nieces and nephews. They think they have
    via u/Personal-Ask5025
  • 22
    ivylass Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] NTA. I hate hate HATE this custom of piercing baby's ears. They're not old enough to understand why they're being hurt. Your parents crossed a line and you and your husband are well within your rights to tell them to back off. Keep doing what you're doing.
    via u/ivylass
  • 23
    vegetti05 NTA! Your child = your rules! I hate it when parents say things like "when you were young ....blah blah blah". My mom's favorite is to say things like "it's not like I raised kids, you know" or "you forget that I raised kids too and they turned out pretty good".
    via u/vegetti05
  • 24
    So I've adapted the response "I'm glad you got to do things your way. I'm just asking to be able to do things my way". If they can't respect that boundary, then you lose privileges. You leave your children with people you trust and once that trust is broken, that's it.
    via u/vegetti05
  • 25
    ptazdba Partassipant [3] NTA - Protect your child from these people who would do this to them knowing you wouldn't agree. The nose piercing made your point even though they most likely wouldn't understand.
    via u/ptazdba

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