'It was important that her husband not be bothered': Overworked mom decides to stop driving forever after husband chides her for not doing her "responsibilities"

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 2, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Legendary stories like this one get told over and over again. 

Some things change with the passing years, while others remain the same forever. In a family with kids, the young ones will always need to go to school, do homework, eat at least three meals a day, and they'll also need rides to their friends' houses and soccer practices. It can be a whirlwind for any parent! And for parents who are doing all of the childcare and housework while the other parent works a 9-5 job, it can be a lot to handle. Childcare is a 24/7 job, there's no such thing as a day off. 

This person, u/pokey1984, had a cool story to share from the 1950s. It's about this person's grandparents, and it's an interesting look into the family dynamics of the time. Grandma stayed at home and watched their kids while Grandpa went out and worked each day. However, instead of viewing their marriage as teamwork, one day Grandpa slipped up and snapped at his wife for not having a hot dinner prepared for him. At least Grandma let him know who was really in charge in that household. 

Next up, this boss got in really big trouble for telling an employee an unfunny April Fool's joke. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9903538688
    via Ramazan Ilyasov on Unsplash
  • 02
    My grandma complied with her husband's request for over fifty years, much to his chagrin. (Long) LOC Something someone said to me today reminded me of this tale and i thought some of you would appreciate hearing it. So, this is my grandmother's story. My family has been telling the tale for decades. Grandpa himself told it to his daughter's fiance as a lesson in not underestimating his new bride. Grandma told it slightly differently to my mom when she and my father were engaged. This is somewher
    via u/pokey1984
  • 03
    My grandparents were very old school. Grandpa got a job working for John Deere as a teen and worked his way up the ladder to foreman, then manager. Grandma was a typical housewife in the 1950's and was held to typical housewife standards. She was to cook and clean and be prepared to entertain Grandpa's business associates at a moment's notice. It was her job to make sure the children were taken care of and never got in her husband's way. She was expected to have dinner on the table at 5:30 sharp
    via u/pokey1984
  • 04
    They were progressive and well-off enough that Grandma had her own car. She was expected to use it to run the household errands and take the (four) kids to appointments and such. It was important that her husband not be bothered with such things. The household and family were her responsibility. He had a job. Well one day, Grandpa arrived home from work and not only was dinner not on the table, but Grandma wasn't even there. The kids (teens at the time) hadn't been fed. Their homework was still
    via u/pokey1984
  • 05
    He'd been home just long enough to let his frustration stew into anger when Grandma's car pulled into the drive. He began shouting at her before she'd even had the chance to set down her purse or take off her jacket. He ranted about all the things she hadn't done because she was out "running around" when she should have been home, taking care of the house and making his dinner. He worked very hard all day to provide for this family, was it too much to ask for a hot dinner when he got home? She'd
    via u/pokey1984
  • 06
    Then, Grandpa screwed up. As sometimes happens when we speak in anger, he began to blame the wrong thing for his irritation. He began to blame the car and her access to it. He said something to the effect of, "You don't have any business out driving around anyway. You should be home. I should never have let you start driving in the first place! Women shouldn't drive!" "You don't want me to drive?" Grandma asked calmly, retrieving her keys from her purse. "Fine. Then I won't drive ever again." An
    via u/pokey1984
  • 07
    And bless her heart, Grandma stuck with that declaration not matter how much more difficult it made life. Grandpa had to take afternoons off in the middle of the week when a teacher scheduled a meeting. He didn't get a moment's peace on the weekends, between grocery trips and taking the kids to activities or doctors appointments or for haircuts or clothes. He had to drive Grandma to every Saturday salon appointment. Previously, Grandma had taken herself and the kids to church, letting him sleep.
    via u/pokey1984
  • 08
    Grandpa was nearly as stubborn as his wife. He held out, expecting her to apologize and ask for her keys back. She never did. Instead she simply rearranged the household schedule so that he could handle all the driving. Months later, after never getting a single weekend to relax, after having dinner pushed back nearly every day because he had to drive someone someplace, he finally gave in and apologized. He tried to tell her that he was wrong and that she should start driving again. He tried to
    via u/pokey1984
  • 09
    I suspect that Grandma had always disliked driving, because she never did take back those keys. Nothing Grandpa said or did could convince her to get back behind the wheel. He'd said she had no business driving a car and she was going to hold him to that declaration, no matter what. For over fifty years, until the day she died, Grandma never drove a car again for any reason. Not after the kids graduated and moved out. Not after Grandpa retired. Even after Grandpa's death in the eighties she stil
    via u/pokey1984
  • 10
    TLDR; Grandpa was mildly inconvenienced and told his wife she shouldn't drive. So she stopped driving and he ended up very inconvenienced for a very long time. ETA: A lot of people are asking and some seem very confused (I haven't even managed to read all the comments yet. I'm really glad so many liked the story!) so I'm copying the answer I gave one of the comments here. As to the reason for the whole argument and why Grandma was late that day:
    via u/pokey1984
  • 11
    Sadly, as with the start of most epic arguments between married persons, the details of the triggering cause have been lost to time. Grandma, telling the story forty years later, recalled that it had been a "one of those days" for her. She'd been making dinner and had it nearly ready when she'd discovered that she'd forgotten to buy something that seemed vital at the time. So she'd stepped out to fetch it and one thing led to another until a ten minute trip turned into nearly two hours, accounti
    via u/pokey1984
  • 12
    The only part of said trouble that she recalled clearly was a flat tire and only because Grandpa had to take the car to the shop to have the tire repaired later that week and he'd grumbled about how it was just another example of why women shouldn't be driving. The I'd also remind people that this was a completely different era. argument was seventy years ago now. My Grandparents were children of the Great This comment was actually very accurate. Watch some television from the forties and fiftie
    via u/pokey1984
  • 13
    Piecing things together long after the fact, the entire family is pretty sure Grandma never liked to drive. She was less than five feet tall, a tiny woman to be sure. (Don't forget how cars were built in the forties and fifties!) Grandpa had initially pushed her to get a license and he bought her a car. Many women of that era never drove or only learned to drive very late in life, when cars got easier to handle. That being said, I do agree that this is hardly the healthiest way to end an argumen
    via u/pokey1984
  • 14
    Petty_Clock One of my fav story of my parents is early in their marriage (47 years this year) dad commented that my mum didn't iron shirts as well as HIS mum. Anyways, dad's been ironing his own shirts for 40 something years now.
    via u/Petty_Clock
  • 15
    shpiffeh +1 Fifty years of malicious compliance, what a legend she is!
    via u/shpiffeh
  • 16
    Libellchen1994 I love stories where people are forced to notice what their partner at home (with or without Kids) does all day that goes unnoticed to them.
    via u/Libellchen1994
  • 17
    Skitarii101 My grandma did something similar. She was a housewife and the way my family tell the story, the first time my grandma went out as a driver with my grandad in the car he made a comment about her driving ability. She handed him the keys, sent her licence back and has never driven a day since. Since then she is the most complimentary passenger, and will always compliment your driving ability when you take her anywhere.
    via u/Skitarii101
  • 18
    EpiphanyTwisted Your grandma is now the mascot of this sub.
    via u/EpiphanyTwisted
  • 19
    My grandad said something similar to my gran, she went out and got herself a motorbike
    via r/MaliciousCompliance

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