The Wildest Parenting Texts of the Week (April 2, 2024)

If you ever thought that your parents were bad, watch Female Trouble. I am so grateful that I don't have juvenile delinquent turned petty criminal turned international model turned death row inmate Dawn Davenport as my mother. If it weren't a hilarious John Waters comedy, Female Trouble would be a harrowing tale of parental abuse. Dawn's daughter Taffy is a little girl who simply wants to jump rope and play "car accident" in the house, but her mother couldn't care less about her. She chains her to the bed, refuses to enroll her in school, calls her pejoratives, and ultimately kills her after she joins the Hare Krishna people in an attempt to escape from her cruelty. Taffy objectively had a really bad run in her life, but that doesn't make her suffering any less funny. If you want to hear about the suffering of kids at the hands of less bad but not great parents, you've come to the right place.

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