'It was hilarious to see these guys offering their "critiques"': Amateur poetry blog pranks "internet know-it-alls"

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  • 01
    My poetry lacks 'depth' and 'clarity' you say? About 8 years ago, my wife (now ex) and I were active members on an amateur poetry site where folks would submit their poetry and get feedback and friendly criticism from other members of the forum. At the time there were approximately 1000 members and maybe 100 who contributed and commented on a near-daily basis.
  • 02
    The community was overall a non-pretentious bunch with the glaring exception of two members who thought their didn't stink and took it upon themselves to on everybody else's work at every turn. Typical internet know-it-alls with a nasty penchant for putting people down and making them feel bad for sharing their poetry with others. Over time, we noticed members were not returning, particularly after being on the receiving end of one of these criticisms.
  • 03
    We got tired of the community being torn- apart by these guys and hatched a plan: we created 5 new user accounts. One contributed nothing but lesser-known poems by Sylvia Plath. Another nothing but obscure William Carlos Williams. You get the idea. The others were e.e. Cummings, Ralph Waldo Emerson and T.S. Eliot.
  • 04
    Over the course of three months or so, these users regularly contributed their "poetry" to the site. As usual, most of the community was positive in their feedback and a few were genuinely impressed. We even had to PM a few users who were hinting at being suspicious and let them in on the joke.
  • 05
    However, the two aforementioned almighty warrior neckbeard "poets," just as we knew they would, all over the work at every turn, even offering their own "improvements" every now and then. It was hilarious to see these guys offering their 'critiques' of poets like T.S. Eliot and Sylvia Plath as if the authors of these poems were just anonymous, unenlightened and angsty teenagers on the internet.
  • 06
    After three months of this we finally unveiled the truth in a lengthy post that referenced every single poem and it's true author. There was a day or so of futile and desperate justifications by the two overlords of all-things- poetic. They tried to make the distinction that there was a reason these particular poems were not- well-known by the general public, but, the laughter shared by the rest of the community became too much for them and they eventually gave up and never returned. The site we
  • 07
    a while an or two would show-up and try to belittle people, and, if it got too bad we would pull the same stunt. EDIT: I should clarify: these two guys weren't so much as they were pretentious . This was a site for amateur poets and these two guys treated every submission as if it was meant to be ready to join the ranks of the immortals.
  • 08
    It's possible that at least one of them was a literature professor at a community college. Nevertheless, they were both extremely confident in their breadth of knowledge and expertise and, in a few rare cases, they did manage to offer something constructive, but, that was not the norm. They were arrogant who got-off on taking advantage of the fact that maybe they did have more knowledge and expertise on the subject of poetry than the rest of us who never made such claims.
  • 09
    So, the beauty of this revenge is that we turned the tables on these guys and they couldn't see the (in their world) obvious fact that this "amateur" poetry was really written by professionals.
  • 10
    SageMoonblood. Can you say, "poetic justice?"
  • 11
    main_hoon_na This is lovely. I'm glad they finally learned their lesson - pretentious like that need to learn a few, I've found. Do you mind sharing some of the "critiques" these people gave to authors like e.e. cummings? I'm sure they'd be hilarious to us as well, if you have them saved.
  • 12
    OP Ha, the C j's critiques were by far the most hilarious. They're the only ones I still somewhat remember. All I can recall after all this time was the copious use of the words "childish," "gimmicky," "uninspired" and, my favorite "rudimentary."
  • 13
    The same guy used the word "rudimentary" a couple times with the WCW poems too. It was so hard too keep it going so long, but, luckily, we had a few other folks in on it that we could laugh with.
  • 14
    Paljoey This is some very well executed revenge. It's got the perfect mix of idiots and planning and it is wonderful.
  • 15
    C Astral_Fox Well played! Brilliant.
  • 16
    C [deleted] This gave me warm petty- revenge feelings all over :)
  • 17
    There are a lot of haters and online bullies out there. It's good to see that someone will stand up to them.

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