34 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (April 11, 2024)

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  • 01
    "Marriage status: My wife refused to move, so I made the bed over the top of her"
  • 02
    Behind every good marriage is a great house cleaning service. your ecards someecards.com
  • 03
    B James Breakwell, Exploding Un... @xplodingUnicorn Follow Someone drew doughnuts on the bottom of the grocery list My wife thought it was cute so she bought them She doesn't need to know it was me red apples ground turkey •Sill french fries ·Chicken nuggets. Clementines Cereal
  • 04
    steve hair-rington @nerissanaidoo Follow My mum was angry at my dad so tonight our supper is 100% vegetarian. Marriage is wild.
  • 05
    Y E NICE Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom *texting husband from Pier 1* Follow hey what are ur thoughts on $698 clocks no reason just asking
  • 06
    Jeff Lyons @usedwigs Follow keeping our marriage fresh/exciting via texts Sat, 01/16/2016 Can you take photo of our toilet seat and send me also brand of toilet 10:12 AM
  • 07
    My husband and I having a stare off over who deserves to be more tired Not The Worst Mom
  • 08
    Eye of the Toddler @EyeOfTheToddler Follow You can tell how long a couple has been together by what they fight about. I've been with my husband 8 yrs. Tonight: Wasting a paper plate.
  • 09
    When my husband unloads the dishwasher once. It ain't much, but it's honest work
  • 10
    Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09 Follow Today Catherine bought a family size pack of jalapeño M&Ms (she doesn't like spicy food). When I asked her why she bought something she knows she'll never eat she said, "You know I like to buy stuff." Marriage is great guys.
  • 11
    az_lawley @az_lawley Follow my husband took the last piece of perfectly salted breakfast bacon, but I decided to stay and make it work
  • 12
    SpacedMom @copymama My husband's parenting style is to Follow menacingly say "Yeah!" after everything I say when I reprimand the kids.
  • 13
    Son of Dad @ThugRaccoons Wife: We are lost Follow Me: *driving a Nissan Pathfinder* LOL I think we'll be fine
  • 14
    Pete Lynch @PJTLynch Follow Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.
  • 15
    Jessie @mommajessiec Follow Me: I got you a little something for the bedroom. Close your eyes. Husband: Oh yeah! Me:*hands over nasal strips*
  • 16
    Simon Holland @simoncholland Follow You may be married but you aren't married married until you are in a home furnishings store together and you brought your own tape measure.
  • 17
    Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal Follow The key to a successful marriage is letting things go. I've started with myself.
  • 18
    STARCARS Simon Holland @simoncholland Follow We are three days into a discussion about if getting a toaster oven would be worth sacrificing the counter space. Marriage is wild y'all.
  • 19
    Mummy @ThatMummyLife Follow Day 2,098 of marriage: Husband still doesn't know where the Tupperware lives.
  • 20
    karanbir singh @karanbirtinna Follow My wife messaged me from the shopping mall to ask if I think that she looks fat. I was typing "Noooo" and autocorrect changed it to "Moooo". So long story short, I can I come over and stay at your place for awhile?
  • 21
    ADHDean @ADHDeanASL Being married to me: Pros: you're married Cons: to me Follow
  • 22
    When your husband is unexpectedly home and you don't want him to see all the clothes you just bought. @wivesnightin Look away!
  • 23
    Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn Follow If you're one of the eight people in this world that my wife hasn't told yet, she's been on the Keto diet for 18 minutes and it's absolutely amazing.
  • 24
    Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22 Follow Talked with another dad about how much I hate shopping with my wife at Old Navy for 10 minutes before I realized that he was a mannequin.
  • 25
    The Dad Briefs™ @SladeWentworth Follow My wife said she hides snacks from me so she can put them out when guests come over, in case you were wondering why I invited you here tonight.
  • 26
    Skoog @Skoogeth [wife gets in bed] her: can you grab my chapstick? Follow me: [grabbing the two on her dresser] which one her: ooo not those grab the one in my purse me: [rummaging] none in here her: k grab either the bathroom one or the kitchen one me: what...what the now is happening right
  • 27
    Simon Holland @simoncholland Follow We put new shelves in the garage and have talked for 3 days about what a game changer they are. This is peak marriage.
  • 28
    Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn Follow Before marriage, I would sit at stop lights for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
  • 29
    Jessie @mommajessiec [50 years from now] *visiting husband's grave* Follow "I wanted to let you know that after all these years I've finally figured out where I want to go to eat."
  • 30
    Julie Burton @ksujulie Follow Husband: I need your credit card to buy something off Amazon. Me: I have it memorized, ready? Husband: WHAT?! Me: What.
  • 31
    motherducker @houseandhens Follow I appreciate my husband cleaning before we have guests coming over but he always cleans the weirdest . Our kitchen will look like a tornado blew through but instead of putting away this dude will be up in the attic scrubbing the walls like "iT hAs To Be CLEAN eMiLy"
  • 32
    alse alse Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP Follow All I'm saying is I never realized how many things could be monogrammed until I got married. AE AE
  • 33
    When my husband tries using. a back rub to trick me into
  • 34
    smerobin @smerobin Follow My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.
  • 35
    Stone Follow @StoneAgeRadio13 How much do I love my wife? Two full seasons of Riverdale. That's how much.
  • 36
    TWIST LASE RASPAY TREMATES Capes yours EVERCAT DRYPTIONS MA ORY MEKS shauna @goldengateblond Follow This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I I chose my husband. Asparagus 3 99 16

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