35 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (April 24, 2024)

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  • 01
    Find a man who strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn't even care that it's on your legs.
    via jazzguy07
  • 02
    I THINK YOU'RE LACKING A LITTLE VITAMIN ME
    via jazzguy07
  • 03
    Gonna go lay under the Christmas tree until my family wakes up to remind them. that I am a gift
    via jazzguy07
  • 04
    "You complete me." ВЯЧО
    via jazzguy07
  • 05
    Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42 Follow My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard. 5:10 PM 7 Aug 2013 7,049 11,873
    via @Cpin42
  • 06
    I'm too old for Netflix and chill. Now I want amazon prime and commitment
    via jazzguy07
  • 07
    Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda Twitter: notacroc Source: thebestoftumbli...
    via thebestoftumbli
  • 08
    Do that thing I like Yea, one large pizza for delivery please
    via jazzguy07
  • 09
    Wife: *trying to open a can of tuna* Our can opener is broken. Me: So it's a can't opener? Wife: I can't believe I married you.
    via jazzguy07
  • 10
    do you like mexican because I'll wrap you in my arms and make you my baerito
    via jazzguy07
  • 11
    I could never be with anyone but you because another person may not be up-to-speed on the shows we're watching. someecards
    via someecards
  • 12
    I've learned more about love from watching my dad reluctantly rearrange the living room so my mom can make snow angel boomerangs for her 29 Instagram followers than anything else in life
    via jazzguy07
  • 13
    Me flirting: "I heard you like bad girls. I'm bad at lots of things." (Winks at you with both eyes) @Let'sNotDate
    via @Let'sNotDate
  • 14
    She found me crying, she crew too, we both crode to
    via jazzguy07
  • 15
    Mary Margaret: *churns butter real slow with her ankles out* Jebadiah: Mary finna catch this blessing
    via jazzguy07
  • 16
    MAKES YOU WATCH THE MOVIE SHE WANTS SHE FALLS ASLEEP...
    via jazzguy07
  • 17
    Do you wanna get dirty? I'm not helping you repot your plants
    via jazzguy07
  • 18
    Her: I bet he's thinking about other women Him: If she farts like that again I'm gonna press charges
    via jazzguy07
  • 19
    will u date me? breathe if yes recite the bible in japanese if no
    via jazzguy07
  • 20
    Her: You're just too childish, I'm sorry but I'm leaving... Me: Good luck with that, the floor is lava.
    via jazzguy07
  • 21
    When it was supposed to be but y'all went too hard on endless breadsticks at the Olive Garden night
    via jazzguy07
  • 22
    when ur waiting for him to apologize but he dont know he did something wrong bc u didnt tell him bc he should know
    via jazzguy07
  • 23
    People always say "there's plenty of fish in the sea"... yeah but I've got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.
    via jazzguy07
  • 24
    Me waiting for my wife to see the meme I texted her from across the My wife room @LIFEANDTIMESOFMOM @alrightmom made with mematic
    via @alrightmom
  • 25
    Ray of the Dead @SirEviscerate HER: Did you eat my Milk Duds? ME: *silently chews for 7 minutes, finally swallows* first of all, i don't appreciate your accusations
    via @SirEviscerate
  • 26
    I have a question. Does anyone know when kids start listening? And by kids, I mean my mother- in-law's kids. Specifically, her son. The one that I'm married to.
    via Scary Mommy
  • 27
    Shout out to all the married folks out there waiting for their spouses to pass out on the couch so they can watch what they really want to. STONE COLD DADDY
    via STONE COLD DADDY
  • 28
    i asked my grandpa, "after 65 years u still call grandma darling, beautiful, and honey. what's the secret?" grandpa: "i forgot her name 5 years ago and i'm scared to ask her."
    via jazzguy07
  • 29
    When she says "fine go ahead and do whatever you want" VIA 9GAG.COM STOP WRONG WAY DO NOT ENTER
    via 9GAG.COM
  • 30
    When he constantly tags you in memes you've never seen before @MasiPopal [next thing I knew, I was pregnant]
    via jazzguy07
  • 31
    I remember 90s rap lyrics and every mistake my husband's ever made, but I have no clue if I unplugged the hair straightener.
    via jazzguy07
  • 32
    When it's almost bedtime and your husband starts a game with the kids that involves wrestling and screaming. @closetoclassy
    via @closetoclassy
  • 33
    ^ or girl * Marry a guy who says things like: - I'm proud of you, - I can't believe you're mine, -You're right. I was wrong, - You can do it, baby, - I don't know where all these plants came from... But, it's really improving the air quality and I think you need more.
    via jazzguy07
  • 34
    "You not even watching the movie" Me: Yes I am
    via jazzguy07
  • 35
    target NOT HOMELESS WIFE IN TARGET 2+ HOURS PLEASE HELP
    via jazzguy07

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