'Time for malicious compliance?': New Florida resident rallies against strict HOA rules

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    Cheezburger Image 9915321344
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    HOA board changing bylaws to be controlling; time for malicious compliance?
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    background: im a quirky liberal tech creative who moved to florida, where my parents have been for 26 years. i like bright colors, quiet places, and minding my own business. this place is weird because there are liberal artists, young families, and all mixed together in place.
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    you can probably guess the tl;dr on my long rant: i bought a house in an hoa after reading the rules, expecting the rules to be the extent of what they cared about. the hoa board is pettyAF and told me they will change the rules to make me conform, while also not enforcing rules they dont personally care about. am considering exploiting an hoa loophole to make my house gaudyAF in petty retaliation.
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    i bought a deed-controlled house in a smallish four-street community in january 2021. i read the hoa agreement before i bought it because a town near where i live in florida is pretty extreme with their micromanagement of residents, and i am very much NOT into that. the hoa fee is very low and the agreement is mellow. it basically says:
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    . dont let your dogs bark . • dont annoy your neighbors . . with sound get approval on building changes dont park vehicles in the street overnight • no trailers/boats/rvs visible from the street
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    i think the last two are dumb but they also dont apply to me. nothing about decorations, christmas lights, garbage cans, types of flags you can hang, garage doors being open, explicit paint colors, etc, which are red flags for me.
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    two-thirds of the houses in my hoa are shades of brown (one neighbor described his own house to me as "baby brown") and one third are faded florida keys colors. theres no consistency, which i dont care about, but im sitting between a yellow house, a greyish-blue house, and across the street from a faded lime green house. there are no community/shared buildings or true open spaces; there are a few tiny ponds, and
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    playground equipment in a small space near one of them. theres not a ton of organic engagement and it seemed like a place where people were quiet and minded their business and let each other live, and that the hoa was mostly a formality. great! or so i thought.
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    i went to a board meeting late last year to ask them to tell neighbors with barking dogs to comply with one of our few hoa rules. (one neighbor in particular who leaves their highly reactive dog outside at all hours, which howls at literally anything that moves. it wakes me up at night - and also makes the other neighborhood dogs bark for 10-15 minutes at a time, several times a day.) the board response was, "dogs bark, its whats they do." i suggested
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    that parties are loud, its how they work, but that no one would appreciate if i had a party every day - and i would expect hoa or police intervention if i did. i read them the hoa section about barking dogs and asked them to send notices because its against hoa laws and local laws to let your dogs bark for hours every day, and i wanted the hoa to tell them and not the cops (who leverage a $100+ fee per complaint). the board insisted that dogs cant be
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    controlled and did nothing. at that time, the board had also letter requesting put out a for more people to "step up" by joining the board. i volunteered while i was there, since there was an open board seat and literally no one else at the meeting (of ~120 houses) and i thought i should do my part to pitch in. i found them to be a grumpy, gossipy group who spent the whole meeting talking about residents and thought maybe i
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    could help represent the other views in the neighborhood... but an announcement went out later and it didnt have my name on it as part of this years board. HA. which im actually not all the way mad at, because the board (without notification) put in GIANT speed bumps that much of the neighborhood off, and then had to pay to take them out because of complaints. tons of people planned to show up at the next meeting to complain, and
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    the board cancelled the meeting last minute, and im glad im not connected with that. so i went to another board meeting yesterday and besides the four-person board, there were two other houses in attendance. turns out, i am on the shortlist for public enemy because i have kept my christmas lights up (i have white lights on my palm tree, and colored lights along my eaves) AND because i dont put my garbage cans in my garage. one
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    attendee - who i have never met - was particularly incensed because she walks past my house and my attached recycle bin lid was damaged and "looked terrible." never mind that its the recycling truck who broke it, and that when i requested a replacement from the city they said to leave it out until they brought me a new one (which took several weeks), OR that the bins stay outside because bugs are attracted to both bins despite
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    washing and i dont want bugs drawn into my home. i shared this, and they did not care. i told them that i can appreciate that we have different expectations, but that i read the hoa agreement before i bought the house to intentionally understand if the hoa limits aligned with my needs, and that per the agreement i was under no obligation around where i store my garbage bins. (another neighbor said he has a list of Dos and Donts from when he moved it, and garbage can handling is on
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    it; i never saw this list or signed agreement for it, and its not on the hoa website. no one else seemed to know what that document was.) so the president said they will be changing the hoa rules because the four-person board finds it offensive to see garbage cans in my driveway and lights on my house... this from an hoa president who puts signs all over her lawn with "the election was stolen," "save america from
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    socialist democrats," "democrats are ruining america," and "blame democrats for high crime." prospective buyers rang my doorbell recently to ask if it was a safe place for them to live (they are a lesbian couple from out of state; i have a gay pride flag outside). those lawn signs. factored in for them [negatively] on whether to put in an offer, yet the hoa president talks incessantly about how we must all 'act right' to keep property values
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    high never mind that our values - nearly doubled in the last two years for market reasons, or that she herself is directly discouraging some buyers. anyhow, im going to keep my cans in the driveway and on the curb until im legally obligated otherwise. and in the meantime, maybe i prepare for some pettiness myself so i have some amusing-to-me moves in my pocket.
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    contrarian lawn signs are on my list, for sure, since that seems to be allowed. another is that although visible changes to the houses must be approved by the board, including paint color, the agreement specifies that no board response within 45 days is considered approval. i emailed them in late 2021 through the hoa portal to inform them i was planning to paint my house, and to ask about paint color limitations. i got no
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    response. when i attended the board meeting two months later and mentioned again that i was going to paint my house and had gotten no response, they said i cannot without their approval. i told them of the policy and read it to them; it seemed like news to them and they said it doesnt matter. the hoa president has been trying to force me to submit paint chips for approval, leaving my voicemails and coming by my house and sticking a form in my door. i have told her that i wont
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    submit it because per hoa rules im not required to. they and they have to deal with it. up i planned to do my house in a more modern soft teal color, which already raised eyebrows with them, but while i was at the meeting someone on the board made an offhand comment about not wanting a pink or purple house in the neighborhood. so... em. do i paint my house purple?
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    i also have driveway space for another car, so i was considering buying an ugly van and personally painting it gaudy colors with glue- on jewels as a fun hobby (for me) and then just leaving it parked in the driveway all the time looking fug as what else?
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    Grraaa Purple house. Pink van. Noisy dog. Yard sign that is, literally, the HOA rules that you signed up for.
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    ashamancurtis Want a nice "hippy" project? Get a VW minibus. Cover with 1/4 inch clay, with grooves running all along it. Then smear with wet chi seeds. "Chia Van"
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    iamnoking Check your bylaws on what it takes to actually change the bylaws. Usually you need a quorum which is at least 20- 30% votes in favor. If not even 10 people are showing up to the meetings to vote, then they can't get a quarum and pass any new bylaws. Very rarely can any HOA just institute laws without a vote.
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    SandpaperMoose I saw a house once that was a lilac purple and it was gorgeous! Go for it if it makes you happy.
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    gooberdaisy Leave the van on cinder blocks (where the tires are missing. I like what someone else said and do pride colors..
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    guacamoleo Ooooh, go for soft teal with purple trim

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