Dad refuses to give late son's college fund to his ex-wife's stepson, travels to Belgium to drink beer instead: 'My ex says I'm wasting thousands of dollars'

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Possible Soil_3886.20h AITA for spending my son's university fund on a trip to Europe to drink beer like I always threatened instead of giving it to his step brother after he passed away.
  • 02
    My son was smart. Smarter than me. I almost requested a paternity test because he was so intelligent. THAT IS A JOKE. My ex and I divorced when he was about 12. She remarried when he was 14. I did when he was 16.
  • 03
    I had an RESP set up for him. That's a education fund in Canada. As long as he went for post secondary education he could use the money for anything. I always told him that I was okay with him not going to university. That way I could use the money I had saved up for him to go to Belgium and buy some beer from monks that only allow you to buy one case.
  • 04
    He knew I was joking and he always played along. He wouldn't let me get his goat. When he got accepted to McGill it was the proudest moment of my life. I took him out for a beer to celebrate his achievement and mourn the loss of my trip to Europe.
  • 05
    My son was struck and killed by a drunk driver in March. I'm dealing with it. My ex is dealing with it. My wife has been nothing but my rock in this. She is holding me up. I was dealing with the funeral arrangements and everything when my ex came to talk to me about his money. She knew he had a scholarship and was just going to use the money for living expenses and an emergency fund. She asked me what I was going to do with it.
  • 06
    I said I was going to do what I always said I would. I was going to Europe to drink beer. She asked if she could have it for her step son. I thought about it and said no. Her husband is a decent enough person but he made it clear that he wasn't responsible for any expenses for my son. Beyond food and shelter and stuff obviously. Like I said he is decent. I said I was not going to do that. I was going to go drink beer in my son's honour.
  • 07
    She says I'm wasting thousands of dollars. And I guess I am. I have to give back the government portion of the fund. But I don't care. My ex thinks I'm being stupid and irresponsible wasting my son's money like this. I don't care. My son would laugh his did it. off if he knew I actually
  • 08
    No_Lavishness_3206⚫ 20h Enthusiast [6] NTA. Sorry for your loss. I thought it was a clickbait title but this is a sad Ipost. I hope you enjoy your trip and pour out some for your homie. It sounds like you guys had a good relationship. Reply 37.1k
  • 09
    Possible Soil_3886 OP • 20h Thank you. ... 10.6k
  • 10
    NTA No-Alarm-2208 · 18h . You don't owe your ex-wife's stepson anything, OP. Sorry for your loss. Have that beer in Belgium in memory of your son. ... ✩ 4.4k
  • 11
    milliepilly 16h . I totally agree. You should never have been asked for that money. That was totally out of line. Please spend that money to find joy in this world through your sadness. 2.3k
  • 12
    jasemina8487 • 14h Aficionado [16] especially while he was dealing with funeral arrangements. this is also the mother of thw deceased child too so instead of mourning her son she is acting like a vulture 1.4k
  • 13
    numbersthen0987431 18h • Something to tell your wife ex-wife: "YOUR stepson is not MY stepson. I'm sorry you and your new hubby didn't save up money, but YOUR stepson has zero relation to me, and has zero connection with me. To YOUR stepson I am essentially a random neighbor who has money, and you're trying to make a random stranger pay for YOUR stepson". It's your money. It's not your ex's money, it's not your ex's stepson, and it's not "their" money. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like
  • 14
    mylittlewedding • 19h From someone who lost her 15 yr old sister to a car accident this really tore me up way more than I thought it would. She was killed a month after her 15th birthday & had just been accepted to a private high school with a full ride scholarship she had been trying for. The acceptance letter sat on her vanity in her room for years after. You are NTA if anything far from it.... the ex wife even asking is a huge one. Please go to Europe & celebrate his life! It's the only thing
  • 15
    Possible Soil_3886 OP • 19h Thanks for the offer. I'm going to update when I'm there. I would appreciate it if you had one with me instead. ✩ 5.4k
  • 16
    QueenSophia_ • 18h . If you don't want to be alone in Belgium, you can try to message me. I'm from there, with loads of free time and if I can keep a grieving father company it would be my honor to do so! ... 4.4k
  • 17
    Famous_Specialist_44 • 19h Colo-rectal Surgeon [31] My condolences. Your ex can ask for the money but she shouldn't expect you to say yes. NTA Westvleeren gold cap is particularly worth travelling for. Reply 4.8k
  • 18
    Possible Soil_3886 OP. 19h That's the stuff I want. It is by lottery so I probably will only try it at the visitors centre. 2.3k
  • 19
    Key-Journalist-3053 • 19h It's a must-do and I'm sure your son would want you to experience it and be happy. My thoughts are with you and your family, I hope bright days lay ahead for you. ... ← 592♡
  • 20
    Bwoah_Its_Kimi • 19h Hey OP, you're NTA and I'm very sorry for your loss. I have some good news though; RESP's can only be transferred between siblings. Assuming that your son was not adopted by your ex's new husband that means your son was not related to your ex's step son in a way that would permit the transfer. https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/ tax/registered-plans-administrators/registered- education-savings-plans-resps/registered- education-savings-plans-resps.html ... Reply
  • 21
    SuchAGeoNerd • 19h Came to say the same thing. It isn't transferable to step siblings so the entire argument is pointless drama. ... 1.4k
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