Dad skips son's high school graduation for 14-year-old stepdaughters competition that her mom is already attending: 'Once she came into his life he prioritized her every step of the way'

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Big_Swan_5867 • 3d AITA for telling my dad there will be no making up for missing my high school graduation?
  • 02
    I'm (18m) graduating high school at the end of this month. My dad dropped the bomb on me two nights ago that his stepdaughter (14f) has an award ceremony for some competition she entered and won in another state on that same day and that she really wants him to be there. He told me he couldn't possibly make it to both and since his wife and their children together will be going, he needs to be there too. He told me he would make it up to me and we could celebrate another time.
  • 03
    I still live with him (not for much longer). My mom died when I was 7 and my dad got married again when I was 11 or 12. It's been a few years anyway. His stepdaughter never knew her bio dad, so my dad has accepted her as his own. And he has prioritized her a lot in the last 5/6 years. It doesn't always show in the most obvious ways but it can be felt. Father/son time was put on an indefinite hiatus and instead dad told me we needed to include her in our time together but he also spent time with
  • 04
    He has attended her dance things instead of my basketball games if they're on at the same time. It doesn't matter if mine was known about first, he will still skip my stuff to go to hers. He will take us on family days and whenever he and his wife say "kids can choose" he picks her choices over mine. He claims it's because they will be the most fun for everyone but really, he even says it afterward, anything his little princess wants.
  • 05
    Our refrigerator and our shower broke at the same time. His stepdaughter's birthday was coming up so he took money from my birthday fund to pay for that stuff and so his stepdaughter would definitely get what she wanted (this barbie house thing and a whole fashion set and they were I think dad said $250). He didn't get all the money back by the time my birthday came around so instead he bought me a $30 gift card for Steam when he had promised me a new monitor and keyboard for my computer (that w
  • 06
    When my dad told me he wouldn't be at my graduation to go and support her, I told him there is no making up for that and he can forget about being included in my life going forward. He told me he would make it up to me and I told him I will always come second to his little princess and I'm not going to be okay with that. I told him he's discarded me for the last time. Dad begged me to be reasonable but I walked away. Then I invited both sets of grandparents who agreed to come. His wife told me I
  • 07
    Apart-Ad-6518 · 3d Supreme Court Just- [110] NTA Graduating HS is a big milestone. It's creditable your Dad wants to be there for his stepdaughter. He needs to maintain balance though & I feel he should have made time for a once in a lifetime thing for you. I hope you still enjoy your day & many congratulations! Edit spelling Reply 25.6k
  • 08
    Big_Swan_5867 OP. 3d That balance never existed. Once she came into his life he prioritized her every step of the way. ... 14k
  • 09
    Apart-Ad-6518 · 3d Supreme Court Just- [110] I'm so sorry. I do hope you have other supportive people in your life. All the very best to you. ↑ 6.9k
  • 10
    Big Swan_5867 OP. 3d Luckily I have my grandparents even if they live in another state. 9.3k
  • 11
    PharmBoyStrength ⚫ 3d . This is a full golden child scenario and it will never end. As long as you're in his life, you will be secondary and less important than your sister and your father will only give you empty words and promises unless he has some type of massive catalyst to change his life and outlook 4.5k
  • 12
    busyshrew ⚫ 3d Aficionado [10] Or even worse - Dad treating OP as a 2nd class child is necessary to his new wife to 'prove' that he loves her and stepdaughter 'enough'. Disgusting. Either way, this situation is horrible. As a mother - OP is right, HS graduation trumps almost everything else. Maybe not a college graduation or a wedding/ funeral, but it most definitely ranks much higher in order of importance to a competition award. • • • 4.2k
  • 13
    AwkwardFortune Cookie • 3d A competition where her mother will already be there, so she has a parent representing. He has zero parents to support him. I'm shocked the dad hasn't put this together. 3.4k
  • 14
    fishfountain • 3d Wow what a horrible way to keep showing you you don't matter to them. Totally NTA. And congrats on the freedom that awaits you. I'm impressed by your clarity of thinking took me much longer to get that level of understanding. If not done already get your plans started or refined further. The shame they are hiding may cause some additional grief and manipulation. You got this, good luck. Life is very sweet without constant disappointment Reply 8.1k
  • 15
    Big Swan_5867 OP. 3d Really I only want to matter to him. But time and time again he has shown me that I don't. 4.6k
  • 16
    QuellishQuellish • 3d OP's dad posting in five years-"My wildly successful son is low contact with me for no reason at all". And then later- "Why is my 40 yo stepdaughter still living with me and doesn't do anything for herself. 3.7k
  • 17
    Timely Egg_6827 • 3d Aficionado [14] NTA Your father's wife felt your best option was to miss your own graduation to support her child. That's the way to make you feel included in a family. (this is sarcasm by the way) Two children, two events, two parents- that is one parent per event. There may be a reason for your Dad to go to other event if say wife scared to drive. But then she should be supporting you if ahead bothered to build that relationship. You're right. Your Dad has too much to make
  • 18
    MeldoRoxl • 3d Exactly this! OP, you should literally ask them that question. This is emotionally abusive behaviour on their part, you are massively NTA, and I wish you every bit of luck and happiness in your future. I'm not sure when I started to realize it, probably in my late 20's, but you can create an amazing family without any bio connections. I'm sure you'll find people who will care as much about you as you care about them. ... 1k
  • 19
    Rainbowbright31 • 3d I hope you pointed out to your father that while trying to make up for his step daughter having a loser father that he has indeed become a loser to his own child, how ironic. NTA Reply 2k
  • 20
    Big Swan_5867 OP. 3d Yep. I also mentioned how she has two parents now and I have zero because I already lost my mom and now I lost him as well. 2.4k
  • 21
    NTA. diminishingpatience • 3d Commander in Cheeks [297] I told him he's discarded me for the last time. That's the key point here: it's not just about this one incident. His wife told me I could have come with them and I don't need to attend the ceremony The same applies to her child. They could have come with you. She called me selfish and told me I can't deny her daughter a dad. She and her daughter have deprived you of one. ... Reply 1.5k

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