‘I don't want your gift’: Mom Buys Daughter Expensive Gift for Her Birthday, Daughter Claims Mom Actually Bought the Gift for Herself

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 20, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Buying someone you love a birthday gift is more than just picking up the most expensive item at a store. The gift has to show you actually care about that person, that you take an interest in things they enjoy, and that you know what would make them happy. If you truly care for the person you are buying a gift for, choosing that gift should not be that hard. 

Sometimes, even when they don't fully mean it, people miss the whole point of gift-giving and completely fumble with their present, like the mom in this Reddit story. Instead of getting her daughter a birthday gift that would actually make her happy, mom bought her an expensive mixer even though her daughter hates cooking. But you know who loves cooking? Yep, the mom. So who did she actually buy the expensive mixer for?

Scroll down for the full detailed story. After you are done, click here for a story of a wife who refused to help her husband carry their luggage.

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  • 01
    AITA for not being more excited about the expensive gift my mom got me?
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 02
    Hello, I am searching for a little clarity on this situation from an outside perspective. Currently, my husband, baby, and I live with my parents in their home. My parents are snowbirds, so they're only here
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 03
    about half the year. They are well off, and do not charge us rent, which allows me to stay home with the baby. In exchange, we look after the house and do the majority of housework, and just generally try to be helpful and agreeable roommates.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 04
    Last week was my birthday, and my parents were in town for it. A few days beforehand, my mom started hinting that she had gotten me something big. She seemed really excited.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 05
    The day came, and we had a small party at home. Ordered takeout from my favorite restaurant, and my husband had gotten me a couple nice things I'd been wanting. Finally my dad brought out a large
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 06
    my dad brought out a large box, and my mom was practically jumping up and down. I was getting excited to. Then I opened to wrapping to find... a KitchenAid stand mixer. The mixer and accessories, all together, cost about $500.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 07
    Here's the thing. I hate cooking. I know how to do the basics, and I do my fair share of cooking in the home, but I get no joy from it. My mom knows this. We've talked about it many times. But my mom loves to
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 08
    cook. And she loves to bake. In fact, she's been talking about wanting one of those mixers for years. I guess she could see the disappointment on my face, because she started trying to
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 09
    convince me how amazing the mixer was. She went on about all the attachments and accessories, and how it's top of the line. I tried to feign interest. I smiled and thanked my parents for getting me
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 10
    something so nice. But my mom was now noticeably disappointed by my reaction. We moved on to the cake, and after dinner I was focused on getting the baby ready for bed.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 11
    The next day, the mixer was still in the box, and mom started giving me a hard time about it. She kept making comments about how you'd think I'd be more appreciative of a $500 gift. And that if someone had
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 12
    spent $500 on her birthday gift she would've pulled it out and started using it right away. I went ahead and got it out and set it up just to appease her. But I still haven't used it. Honestly I
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 13
    don't even know what to do with it. I don't bake. I told my mom that she should feel free to give it a test drive, but she responded that it was mine, not hers.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 14
    Now she's saying that she and dad might go back to their beach house earlier than planned. I'm just not sure what she expected. She clearly thinks I'm being an AH, but it's just so
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 15
    obvious that she bought that gift for her, not for me. I would've rather her spent way less on me, and gotten something I could actually use.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 16
    But maybe I'm just acting like a spoiled brat. I grew up pretty privileged, so maybe my perspective is skewed. So reddit, and I being an AH here?
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 17
    lostalldoubt86 · 1 day ago Commander in Cheeks [200] NTA- If your mother knows you don't cook, then the amount of money she spent on it is irrelevant. It was not a good gift. This could also be seen as an offensive gift for some women. Anything that related to "women's work" can be seen as offensive.
    via u/lostalldoubt86
  • 18
    CampNyssa 1 day ago Partassipant [1] What can you do? Smile, say thank you, and smile again. When she calms down, have a simple conversation with her along the lines of "Mom, I do not cook. I appreciate the gift, but I will not give it the use it deserves. Do you want it?" NTA.
    via u/CampNyssa
  • 19
    BuckyGoldstein00 · 1 day ago NTA You are not the one who's making a stink about it. Your mother is. She's so focused on the monetary value that she completely ignored your disinterest in cooking/baking. Has she ever done something like this before? Has she ever tried to control you with money?
    via u/BuckyGoldstein00
  • 20
    Successful_Item6464 OP. 23 hr. ago Maybe. She was the one who insisted we move in when I got pregnant so we wouldn't have to send the baby to daycare. A few weeks ago I saw a great job opening in my
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 21
    field, and when I mentioned to mom that i was considering applying (which would mean sending the baby to daycare) she freaked out. She started sending me links to articles about kids or being at daycare. I'm not sure if that's just an honest
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 22
    fear of hers, or if she doesn't like the idea that we could easily afford to move out if I went back to work. She was very strict with me growing up. Very much a micro manager. Like, even as a teenager, she had my days planned out with an hour-by-hour schedule. I thought she had chilled out once I got married, and they got that beach house. She seemed to chill out at least.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 23
    Sweet Potato 781 · 1 day ago Partassipant [1] NTA - It's surprising that your mom hadn't already purchased a standing mixer for herself since she enjoys baking. Is she reluctant to spend that kind of money on herself?
    via u/SweetPotato781
  • 24
    Successful_Item6464 OP · 23 hr. ago Yeah she's always been more fiscally conservative, even though they can afford it. My dad is the big spender. But he's not the most attentive.
    via u/Successful_Item6464
  • 25
    suziq338 22 hr. ago Partassipant [1] For her birthday, give her a $500 gift certificate for childcare. See if she's excited.
    via u/suziq338
  • 26
    DueIsland2983 - 1 day ago Certified Proctologist [26] ΝΤΑ What makes a gift meaningful isn't how much money you spend on it (though that is somewhat a sign of how much you value the recipient) but how much thought you put into matching it to their needs and wants.
    via u/DueIsland2983

Tags

family drama aita presents drama birthday mother wife gift reddit story petty husband family expensive daughter Reddit mom
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