'If you start treating me like some kind of personal assistant': good friends reveal their big friendship red flags

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    via Surface
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    Anneli @pigletish Follow What are your friendship red flags and how do you disentangle yourself when you start to notice them? I don't think this is talked about often enough
    via pigletish
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    ex999 @maurice_1960.3d Replying to @pigletish Would be the person who directs your activities when you meet
    via maurice_1960
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    beck @_its_me_hi⚫ 3d Replying to @pigletish People who consume plan making because they like to have control & don't care what others like; bonus flag if they huff when someone speaks up about it. "I'm not picking sides" esp relating to an abuser. Bonus flag if they say this after pointing out the abuse.
    via _its_me__hi
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    Brandy Lulu Baker @LuluBakers Replying to @pigletish Follow When I'm constantly analyzing why they are acting a certain way. Took me years to realize that just bc there's a reason it doesn't make it okay. Everyone has some they're working through or should be at least. It's not an excuse for abusive behavior. kind of
    via LuLuBakers
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    Lorijn Zaadnoordijk//lor... @LorijnSZ Replying to @pigletish Follow Lots of replies about them letting you carry the friendship etc and obviously that holds for me too. But there are also things like making homophobic comments, being to waiters/cleaners, etc. I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for their behavior to others either.
    via LorijnSZ
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    rot @Rubybuttsbutts 3d Replying to @pigletish • Not expressing interest in me or reciprocating effort, being | in general, and I would say something like "I think our personalities aren't compatible" and get gone
    via Rubybuttsbutts
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    allison@allisonxpaige 2d Replying to @pigletish • Them doing things/showing up/talking to other people but flat ignoring me. I hate that. You can have a life but ignoring someone for no reason on purpose is mean.
    via allisonxpaige
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    Brooke Kaur @iamBrooke Kaur - 2d Replying to @pigletish If they are always gossiping about other people, soon it will be you.
    via iamBrookeKaur
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    Jakey Emmert @Jakeyin612.1d Replying to @pigletish -rudeness to service workers -viewing everything in life as a competition, especially dating/relationships -bragging about money while also Venmo requesting you for amounts under $5 for things like parking
    via Jakeyin612
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    Brooke Kaur @iamBrookeKaur.2d Replying to @pigletish If they start treating me like some kind of personal assistant. Always asking for me to help them in some way, professional advice/ services for free, help with their household chores whenever I visit, etc.
    via iamBrookeKaur
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    Alice | Website copy & S... @alice_rowan Replying to @pigletish Follow Trust your gut. If you regularly feel exhausted after spending time with them or get a sinking feeling when they pop up in your notifications (not just on a bad day), time's up. Also how they respond to boundaries is a big one
    via alice_rowan
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    Dr Heidi Colthup @Heidi_Colthup.2d Replying to @pigletish People who want to be your best friend overnight - essentially 'love bombing'. In my experience those same people have a long list of 'friends' they no longer have contact with because of 'reasons'.
    via Heidi_Colthup
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    @swatimeraki · 3d Swati Goswami Replying to @pigletish The Takers ▸▸ Some people always need something from you after knowing you a little or initiate friendship for constant help only. Observing their other friends closely and how they talk about them gives even more clarity about their social intention.
    via swatimeraki
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    Facing Fear @anxietyaloner - 3d C Replying to @pigletish - Jealousy/bitterness about your life - Talking about themselves non stop & showing no interest in you - Not respecting boundaries - Backhanded compliments & thinly veiled digs - Only around in either the good times or the bad times but not both 600
    via anxietyaloner
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    moonlet hoarder @cherryaire 3d Replying to @pigletish Gets upset if you have plans without them. Acts like they're your MOST important friend, like theres a hierarchy. Making all the plans without consulting you at all. Thinking they have a right to dictate your relationships in any way.
    via cherryaire
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    Ani @aschmuck87.2d Replying to @pigletish When it doesn't feel equal, when you feel drained instead of recharged when it comes to them, when they ignore your boundaries, when they make your experiences all about them, etc. I recently had to say, “I think we have different ideas of what friendship means." To someone
    via aschmuck87
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    king @kiingofthefalls. 2d Replying to @pigletish This is a recent one I've experienced. Friends who take cheap shots to put you down, friend kept making "cheap" jokes whenever I shared an experience (my childhood wasnt the greatest). Currently taking space and will be cutting her off. We're too old to be judging each other
    via kiingofthefalls
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    jaz @jazminsquared • 2d uncomfortable conversations ending all communication -it's okay to not agree on everything and still maintain a friendship
    via jazminsquared
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    Nneka M. Okona @afrosypaella · 2d • Not what you meant but: my friendship red flag *for myself* is when I notice myself starting to contort into being obsessively helpful & overly accommodating. Means I don't feel comfortable, am masking to perform likability & need to check-in on *why* I feel discomfort.
    via afrosypaella

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