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You should probably rewrite your vows, cats are very harsh critics. They won't cry unless it's absolutely heartbreaking, like when you tell them there is no more tuna, or that they can't sit on your seat. Give it another go and really bring out the waterworks.
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Think wisely, dear hooman. Remember, we know where you sleep and where you eat. While you're gone at work, it would be such a shame if someone did something to all of your toilet paper. What an unfortunate accident that would be…
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