11 Hilarious Poems Written by Cats

"I could pee on this" by Francesco Marciuliano is a hilarious anthology of cat poems which was published few years ago and is still a best seller. With poems like "I Lick Your Nose "and "Elegy for a Toy I Broke" there is no topic too 'tough' for these poets. Here is a selection of poems we really liked.

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  • 01
    poem - Cat - I Could Pee on This Her new sweater doesn't smelll of me I could pee on that She's gone and left her laptop open I could pee on that Her new boyfriend just pushed my head away I could pee on him She's ignoring me ignoring her I could pee everywhere Now she has me on her lap I could pee on this I could pee on this medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 02
    poem - Cat - I Lick Your Nose I lick your nose I lick your nose again I drag my claws down your eyelids Oh, you're up? Feed me medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 03
    poem - Cat - Hide the Shame Hide the shame! Hide the shame! I can't ever let them know Hide the shame! Hide the shame! I can't ever let them see Hide the shame! Hide the shame! I'm more monster than cat Hide the shame! Hide the shame! I bury deep my dark, dark secret Hide the shame! Hide the shame! There Now no one will ever know I used the litter box medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 04
    poem - Cat - Nudge Nudge Nudge nudge nudge Nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge Nudge Your glass just shattered on the floor medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 05
    poem - Text - D OOR CLOSED шнии LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME I- hello Oh, uh, I did not expect an answer I did not expect an entrance I did not expect this room to be so unbelievably dull So, uh, goodbye 16
    via I could pee on this
  • 06
    poem - Cat - Busy, Busy It's 8 am and time to nap It's 10 am and time to relax It's 12 pm and time to doze off It's 3 pm and time to zonk out Its 6 pm and time to slumber Its 9 pm and time to snooze Its 12 am and time to sleep Its 4 am and time to hang upside down from your bedroom ceiling, screaming medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 07
    poem - Text - Who Is That on Your Lap? There's another cat in the house A cat I've never seen A much younger cat You seem to know her name You accidentally called me by her name Right in front of the lamp And my friend the throw pillow I've never been so humiliated I may never love again adium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 08
    poem - Dog - Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs Some of my best friends are dogs We talk about dog things Some of my cat friends don't get it We laugh at their fear The dogs see me as one of their own True, they don't like it when I bark Or play dead Or chew their toys Or sniff their butts But we're cool Some of my best friends are dogs I just thought you should know medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 09
    poem - Cat - BLACK CAT I purr I nuzzle I lick I cuddle I run I leap I play I sleep But if you think all that is an evil omen If you think all that is pure bad luck Then yes, you will endure great misfortune Because without me your life will suck I COULD PEE ON THIS AND OTHER POEMS BY CATS By Francesco Marciuliano Published by Chronicle Books
    via I could pee on this
  • 10
    poem - Cat - Why Are You Screaming? Why are you screaming? What did I do wrong? Why are you crying? How can I make it right? Would you like it in a different color? Would you like it in a different size? Would you like it in a different room? I just wanted to show my love I just wanted to express my thanks I just wanted to put a dead mouse on your sheets But now you are screaming And I don't know how to make you stop medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this
  • 11
    poem - Cat - Then All Went Dark I'M BLIND! Oh wait, I'm not I'M BLIND! No, my vision is clear I'M BLIND! But now I see you I'M BLIND! And there you are again. I'M BLIND! What is going---Wait, is that your hand over my eyes? medium-large.com
    via I could pee on this

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