TikTok relationships officially crossed the line between the real deal and carefully curated illusions, and it’s messing with our heads

When TikTok, for example, was at the beginning of its rise to prominence, it was somewhat natural for real-life couples to share their lives online, which included giving a small peek into their relationship as it was even behind the screens. We all can probably recall influential duos we enjoyed seeing on our screens: Abbie and Josh Herbert, Nick and Pierre, Maghan and Jack, Alex and Jon, etc. They all participated in pranks, daily vlogs and TikTok trends that showcased their relationship and love for each other, spurring on these creators’ popularity on the app.

Alex and Jon, Nick and Pierre & Abbie and Josh Herbert

We didn’t look at their videos and think “Oh, their relationship cannot be real, it’s way too good to be true.” It genuinely felt like the real deal, like an actual happy couple who just happens to post funny videos on TikTok. 

I do not intend to presume how those relationships are in real life because I don’t know any of them personally, and I have never had a glimpse of what they are like without the camera on. It is fascinating, however, to try and understand what the exposure to their videos does to the people who invest themselves in consuming that content. 

Many researchers have studied the effects of TikTok on young adults’ lives, including the effect on their perception of love and relationships. Most studies have found that there is a strong connection between positive personal relationships and reduced TikTok usage, but they still do not answer the question of how videos of relationships on TikTok affect the viewers personally. But it seems certain that they create unrealistic expectations and a false perception of what love is supposed to be like.

We could go on and on about each famous TikTok couple and which of their videos seem like a total performance rather than actual love, but there is one couple who have recently drawn the public’s attention that demonstrates this point exactly. It is one thing to watch a couple who came together outside of the social media atmosphere, and then used their chemistry as inspiration for content that engages the audience. But it is a whole other thing to watch relationships being created and formed ‘live’ on social media platforms, essentially for all eyes to see and explore. 

Which is exactly how the apparent relationship of the two TikTok influencers, Nick and Cassie, came to be.

Nick Wilkins and Cassie are both TikTok creators who established their audiences completely separately throughout the years. Each of them has their own niche, but for some reason, seemingly because they both enjoy displaying their awkward demeanor, the public decided they might make a cute pair. 

Slowly, and presumably unbeknownst to them, they became a “Ship” (short for a “relationship,” and a term for pairing two people in a romantic relationship beloved by an audience.) They even got a ‘Ship’ name–Nessie. 

This January, Nick made a video addressing the viewers’ push for him and Cassie to get together, which led to a series of events that created a whole new formation of a romantic relationship online, and later led to a strong impact on the people exposed to it.
 

It started with a back-and-forth ‘flirting’ between Nick and Cassie through videos they each posted on their TikTok accounts, every video moving their romantic plot a little bit further. Hundreds of videos accumulated on each of their accounts, addressing their apparent connection and potential romantic involvement. There were fan edits, other TikTok creators getting involved, and many hints to their potential face-to-face ‘date’. Until finally, deliberately around Valentine’s day, they decided to meet up.

As you might be able to tell from the comments sections of almost every video both Nick and Cassie uploaded, the audience reaction to the viral couple was split. Most people were extremely excited about this ‘Meet Cute’, and totally on board with every video posted, every fan edit, every drop of information coming their way. Others, those who consume their content with a little more awareness, clocked this obvious exploitation of clout as just another reminder that what they see online is a fake and carefully curated illusion.

Unsurprisingly, as soon as Nick and Cassie returned to their homes (one to the US and the other to Canada), there were already rumors about them deciding to simply remain friends, a further proof that every part of their story was simply that, a story to get more eyes on them and nothing more.

Even if some people enjoyed this public display of love, and I honestly do not blame anyone who does, I can’t help but think that this entire saga does the audience a disservice. These creators are doing everything in their power to remain relevant, to gain popularity, even if they’re creating false narratives and unrealistic expectations in their young viewers’ minds. We don’t know what happens once the cameras are off, and I don’t think we should, but we do know how we feel when we see these videos, the feelings they evoke in us and the expectations that they plant—and maybe we should all be more conscious of that. 

Love is special, and sometimes even magical, but it is not a carefully edited montage of our greatest moments, those we would allow millions of people we don’t know to watch online.

Nick and Cassie, and many other popular couples on the app, are simply using their relationships how it benefits them, and that is a thought that should remain in the viewer’s mind as they become more and more invested in what could very well be a fake display of love.

^{Nick and Cassie together again}

Hopefully, more people will start consuming content like this on social media with slightly less rose-colored glasses, so that they will be able to tell what is real, and what is a clear performance art crafted solely for attention.