50 More Super-Ridiculous News Headlines

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    funny headline - Newspaper - Poo man is 00 on the run EES HOSPITAL SMEARER A HOMELESS man facing jail for causing more than £20,000 damage by defecating on trains has done a waring ide runner Bonney Eberedu 36, hum was awaiting tence the whon be caped from Looden pital Today He hadarleadmitted dargs of causing rinal th damage Londen's raiway network Eendsw arrte y poce in October after he i w apotted at Camberwell Green bgarag hfillowed 22 incidente expes traine bound for London latee Bridge and
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    funny headline - Font - NT News HORNY GHOST HAUNTS HOUSE YOUR VOKE IN THE TERRITORY 2010 120 T atwcomau Tharnday Sepeber 302a0 If you thought Casper was friendly, you should meet Kevin Annie Sanson's exclusive story:P2 INSIDE Picuw.JUSTIM EANSON ARLETTS SA6.000 50 MOST STYUSH
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    funny headline - Text - dispose of the iron has been handed over to the Kandy police The hospital employees who tried to sell the iron have gone into hiding and are wanted by the police for questioning. Police are continuing inquiries. sion gram has ated. has b ment educa of s place A p by th sion ect w hand Educ schoo Drunk drivers fail blow job test By J.A.L.Jayasinghe Kandy Chief Magistrate, Thusara Setunga imposed fines to- taling Rs. 79,000 on 29 drivers found 'drunk driving' and plea- ded
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    funny headline - Text - Roses are red Some people have a sweetheart Home News U.S. Sport TV&Showbiz | Australia Femail Health Science Money Latest Headlines News World News Arts Headlines France Plctures Most read Wires Discounts Man convicted of molesting a dead deer and shooting horse to have sex with it 'assaulted female cop after shoplifting from Walmart'
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    funny headline - Text - mailOnline News College student was so scared to tell parents he got an F he faked his own kidnapping By Katie Davies 22:22, 17 May 2013, updated 14:08, 18 May 2013
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    funny headline - Signage - The Argus WARNING OVER DANGEROUS CUPCAKES The Argus FRIL ww.tri
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    funny headline - Text - South Loncion Press South ondor Press DEALER SOLD TEA TO COPS Where New Matters EVERY FRIDAY LO Your local Mewspaper
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    funny headline - Vertebrate - THE Sign in or Register to discuss and share stories HOME NEWS SPORT SHOWI Saturday, January 19, 2013 Politics Captain Crunch Sun City Forces Sun Says Sun Justice Your View News Farmers baaa-ffled after hundreds sheep are branded with smiley face
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    funny headline - INDEPENDENT News > UK > Home News Emergency biscuits flown into UK due to national shortage Two cargo planes full of biscuits fly into South Yorkshire in response to shortage caused by flooding Elsa Vulliamy 23 hours ago 42 comments M 25K f shares
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    funny headline - Banner - Kent and Sussex Courior making local matter more this is this is MAYOR IS TOO FAT TO SKYDIVE
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    funny headline - Signage - Eolus Evey any BooD The Argus MOTH DIES IN SHED INFERNO The Argus NA ve i
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    funny headline - Banner - Gazet making local matter more this is MARGATE CHEEKY SEAGULL NABS CRISPS Times hame
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    funny headline - Bologna sausage - Angry German dents car with a giant sausage David Charter, Berlin August 17 2016, 12:01am, The Times as a fleischwurst, a type of The police file described the weapon scalded sausage with a high meat content better known as a garlic bologna A German pedestrian is facing a fine for damaging a parked car with his 30cm sausage
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    funny headline - News - Florida Man Stops Street Fight By Running Everyone Over Justin T. Westbrook Today 10:45am-Filed to: FLORIDA MAN 49.1K 214 12 NEW AT 11 NEW AT 11 NEW AT 11 NEW AT 11 NEW AT 11 FOX 13 SEARCH FOR DRIVER IN YBOR CITY BAR FIGHT 11:04 66
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    funny headline - Font - MAN'S LEGS STOLEN WEDDING DREAM SHATTERED EvenngNews THURSDAY Manchester
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    funny headline - Text - QUESTION OF THE DAY Question: What constitutes a millionaire? Answer: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of in- vestments at AG Edwards and Sons. Do you have a question of general interest? We answer one question of broad community inter- tin tha naereach day, E-mail your question
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    funny headline - Text - Burglary PRONFAIL A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said that he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died
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    funny headline - Red - PDRINKS NACKS The Argus WINDOW CLEANER KILLED BY GIANT PENCIL The Argus
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    funny headline - Advertising - I've been posting my letters in the dog poo box for TWO YEARS rit en sex m! www ALF 91, CONFUSES DISPOSAL BIN FOR NEARBY POSTBOX
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    funny headline - Text - Roses are red I wonder how Mail Online Home U.K. Home News Sport U.S. Showbiz Femail | Health Science Money | Right News Home Arts Headines Pictures Most read News Board Son of Westboro Baptist Church leader attacked on live TV by naked 500lb man who burst out of bathroom, sat on him and shouted: 'Who's your daddy now?
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    funny headline - Text - Fire destroys go-go bar and leaves 4 men homeiess By SCOTT WADE Staff Writer through the destroyed first-floor ceiling and onto the bar and dance stage of the Marquee Lounge Louisville firefighters got their first call John Liebe and Tony Gargotto hun kered just out of the rain yesterday morn- about 8 a.m. The blaze soon turned into a ing while they watched their destroyed go- three-alarm fire, said fire department go bar smolder The two owners of the Marquee Lounge had a
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    funny headline - Text - Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says Y DAVID KRAVETS AP W e The SAN FRANCISC0-Ty Vnd The
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    funny headline - Newspaper - DLW Notorious Bum Driller On The Loose counterparts lin Entebbe are hunting for a notorious bum driller who escaped from police cells. Louis Kasibante, 24, a resident of Kikawula Zone in Lugazi was ar rested on October 18, 2010 after he shattered one Mutumba's ass Narrating his ordeal Mutumba told police that Kasibante would jokingly touch his Luzinda like bums. "At first, I thought he was being a bully until he told me that he fancied downloading his sperms in my bu
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    funny headline - Newspaper - an hour-long joyride. Wannabepie A Whela mped aher king Lamb Dar Pr days eiry and hw Drunk woman steals a ferry and yells: I'm Jack Sparrow! Drifting Dan SppeedWh D Trp Sy dribing ee
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    funny headline - Font - London Evening Standard Hack.ney Gazette MAN DIES IN HUMAN FIREBALL AGAIN
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    funny headline - Text - When squirrels embrace the thug life AUG. 12 Animal complaint. A caller on West Point Avenue reported that a belligerent quirrel was preventing him from using his boat dock. The caller said he knew nothing could be done about it, but he wanted officers to know "what kind of squirrels are running about in the com- munity," according to a políce report.
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    funny headline - Text - Widow wins the right to use dead husband's frozen sperm She still needs OK of hospital ethics committee LONDON (AP)-Awd the righe Thuray tohav dd using her deat sands resen sper capping& two A battle The Human Fertiliatin and Ebeyology Authorty sad Dan Tood can take he gerR to a Pheg cnic for the en The spern wsPteved rem ber aband we he |4ng of mcningtis in March ood 30 ow ap proval from bospital ethics beard in Belpn The Court of Appeal ruled Feb
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    funny headline - Text - Man tries armed robbery with knife in gun store factory condicion Monday Greewlel Police Deparment Desce tive Se.Pa Scle a warr ww innued for the mnpects anest Monday. He be aken to the Criminal Jatice Faci ity aner his dischure from thie hoepital The Oncever is not naming the man becase he had not been churged in MG wankee County courts try peess dead ne The district antoeney's fice i eviewiog the shooinga standand pro cedare whenever shots are 6red during robbery A 57ol
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    funny headline - Newspaper - School officials still unclear about school Friday THE SAMPSON NDEPENDENT Clre Socths Cundice 14pp 1998 Bonnie blows Clinton Power being restorl as city clears up following hurricane
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    funny headline - Vintage advertisement - INVENTOR KILLED BY ELECTRIC BUM WIPER Tragic Graham was rejected by Dragons' Den in 2007 Sport EXCLUSIVE WIPED OUT Tragle Graham blamed Dragon's Den star Deborah (Delow) for the fallare of his arse-cleaner SUNDAY Mechanical bum wiper By SIMON DEAN AN amateur inventor's dream of perfecting the electric ARSE-WIPER ended in tragedy after he bled to death when the prototype ripped his BOLLOCKS off! Egghead Graham Font, 56, became obsessed with crea
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    funny headline - Text - Death is nation's top killer Both your front page story on Nov. 10 ("Study shows tobacco is nation's biggest killer") and the study on which it reports are permeated by a fallacy that is becoming part of the fabric of America's thinking. Death is not, under any circumstances whatsoever, "pre- ventable;" it is only delayable. If every body in America, to take up the report's
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    funny headline - Font - NORTH DEVON JOURNAL Drunk Torched Peanut Bag And Made Love To Ambulance' NORTH DEVON JOURNAL
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    funny headline - Text - |Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs bugs By Wayne Hansen Redwood Co. Extension Educator Anthracnose continues to velop on many green ash, oak "I've got these bugs that look maple trees. Small spots a like ants with wings flying blotches are the typical symptor around my house. What are they and are often accompanied and how do I get rid of them?" defoliation. NOTE: Do not co
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    funny headline - Font - DASH TO HOL VILLA BI Tran naked into a cactus
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    funny headline - Magazine - NEWYORK POST LATE CITY FINAL SUNDAY $1.50 SUNDAY, APRIL 14, 2013/Mosty enny,57-63/Wether Page 20 TIGER PUTS BALLS IN WRONG PLACE AGAIN SEE SPORTS Woods was penalized two strokes in the Masters yosterday for an improper ball drop. Columnist Mark Cannizzaro says he should have withdrawn.
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    funny headline - Newspaper - T-storms, 80/68. Friday, July 1, 201 $ METRO FINAL DAILY NEWS NEW YORK'S HOMETOWN NEWSPAPER DIARRHEA OFA MADMAN Cops are on the hunt for psychopath who attacked two women with fe- ces on Monday. Video grabs show chilling, disgusting act. PAGE 4 Vile poop-attack spree on Upper East Side Two women hit, Suspect still on the runs
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    funny headline - Text - Recipe Correction In a recipe for salsa published re- cently, one of the ingredients was mis- stated, due to an error. The correct ingredient is "2 tsp. of cilantro" instead of "2 tsp. of cement."
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    funny headline - Sign - The Argus WEDNESDAY POSTMAN BEATEN BY LAVENDER BUSH The Argus
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    funny headline - Text - Cops see through crack in man's hemorrhoid tale Cy WALT GOGOLYA Press Staff prison in December. He report edly told police he primarily serves as a middleman and sets up meetings between dealers and buyers. Turner told police Police continued to search the suspect's buttocks and reportedly pulled out a clear plastic baggie con- talning a rock-like substance, which later tested posi- tive for crack cocaine, police said. Upon making the discovery, the suspect reportedly sai
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    funny headline - Newspaper - Thursday March 31,2011 TITS BOUNCING BACK IN WARMER WEATHER eBa trio THREK aling and sellin The is their n their The side "anti- aies Sel TITS are bouncing back in Brit MUTTLEd BE JACKSON d for the sighth yeur in ac ish gardens,a survey reveals. Sarng ere Hnd folowed by birds leapt, with blue tits up h October o March in 3009-3010 per cent and great tits rising 12 than doubled accerding to the Royal the small birds red alr uch watcho-ordinaor Sarh Kelly aid Sightings
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    funny headline - Poster - NTONEWS YOUR VOICE N THE TERRITORY MW WIN this luxury Lexus worth $47,000 DETAILSP3 Man arrested after cops spot Sspiciously small package in his undies NSIDE FULL STORY PARKING METER MAIDS FOR DARWIN STREETS P3 Bellawack For a geat lifestyle everything points to Mr
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    funny headline - Text - FAIL Weight Watchers demonstrator shoplifts cupcakes By Scripps Howard News Service PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. A woman involved in a Weight
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    funny headline - Text - Man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer was removed by the techer| when testiony enlivened the proceedings, TRe Grade 11 and 12 students had dificulty maintaining composure People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes, trying not to laughsaid RCMP Const Peler McFartane By D'ARCY RICKARD of The Advecate STETTLER-An 18year old Stettler man tried to eat hiss anderwear in the hope that the otton fabrie would absorb al cohol before he took a breatha yzer test. pr
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    funny headline - Newspaper - Devil otter ate my mini van H Swap yee 35K OWEN Co ON PYCG The fry l dfere e farmer eas eki Tle, Co Clar t the deged e thea d arted The l w ly ee Full Sry FARMER ATTACKED BY FURBAG
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    funny headline - Text - called a rehearsalfor MEANWHILE, IN AMERICA and finally... dny ume with an onen and its n ence and om e, ors 241 AMERICA: A schoolboy has been suspended for holding a door open for a visitor. The teenager at Southampton d Middle School, in Virginia, was disciplined after helping the woman carrying books. He was warned that all visitors had to е ring a buzzer and await clearance from security.
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    funny headline - Newspaper - TRAGEDY AS BODY OF HIDE-AND-SEEK. WORLD CHAMPION FOUND IN CUPBOARD Sport EXCLUSIVE SUNDAY By SIMON DEAN WORLD-CLASS hide and secker Alan Youll always wanted to be take after his father, Brian-three-times international hide and seek champ between 1989 and 1994. Tragically, 45-year-old Alan followed in his old man's footsteps a little too closely. For, like Brian. Alan met his lonely end trapped in a cupbourd during the World lide and Seek Championshi


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