Family Attempts to Pressure Daughter Into Dating Her Brother’s Best Friend, She Refuses to Let Them Affect Her Romantic Decisions and Moves Out

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    Mom trying to force me to date one of my brother's friends because I “owe him”.
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    So for starters, I'm 22f and I just graduated college. Moved back home temporarily while I earn some money to move out.
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    My brother's friend (17m) has made it quite clear he has a little crush on me. He told my brother, and just this evening he gave me his number when he came over, which I thought was weird — I've never spoken to him before.
  • 04
    My mom kept going "Aww that's so sweet, give him a chance". And I told her I wasn't in a position to date anyone right now, ESPECIALLY not a minor; and that I thought her comment was weird. She got
  • 05
    mad and started screaming at me saying it wasn't weird and that I should be nicer because he clearly likes me and went out of his way to give me his number.
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    My sister even started to defend me and tell her it was weird too, and all it did was make my mom push harder, saying "But your kids would be so cute."
  • 07
    This absolutely isn't normal, is it? What do I do about this? All this has really done is make me reflect on how too involved in my life my mom has become.
  • 08
    An add on: I promise I'm looking to move out ASAP. I'm looking for solutions in the mean time.
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    tl;dr: My mom is getting incredibly pushy trying to get me to date at all, including a minor, and when I express my discomfort or disgust, she's getting very angry. How do I make her stop?
  • 10
    kgberton · 13 hr. ago There comes a time in our lives where we realise that our parents are just people and people are wrong about stuff.
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    You probably can't make her stop without drastically changing your mindset and habits, so it's best to just file everything she says on this topic into the "irrelevant to my life choices" file folder in your brain.
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    QuitaQuites 13 hr. ago What does SHE owe these parents? What's the transaction here. She seems way too invested in you dating a minor.
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    chxaviers OP 12 hr. ago . edited 12 hr. ago Part of me thinks she was just getting defensive when I told her it was weird — because then, like just now, she dropped the b that her and her first boyfriend started dating when
  • 14
    she was 14 and he was 19, and she didn't see anything wrong with that. So I wonder if me telling her I thought it was weird and creepy made her defensive.
  • 15
    10 dms · 12 hr. ago Tell your mom to date him if she's so keen on it.
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    thiscouldbemassive 13 hr. ago Keep saying "No. Who I date is my choice, not yours mom. And what you are doing isn't cute, it's super creepy."
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    sthetic · 12 hr. ago This is an old-fashioned belief some folks have - that you, as a woman, don't know your own mind or the value of your own time.
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    They think that despite you having zero interest in this kid, and some very good reasons not to go near him, you should nevertheless spend some time with him because he has earned it by virtue of existing as a male.
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    And that if you do, you will suddenly become interested in him. I'm sure he's a nice kid who will find happiness in an age- appropriate relationship one day. But not with you. You
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    refusing to call him is not a judgment on whether he's a worthwhile human being who will have cute kids one day. It just means you would prefer to spend your time doing anything except go on a date with him (and possibly to jail afterward).
  • 21
    Seltzer-9 hr. ago It's highly inappropriate for a 22 year old to date a 17 year old. Is your mom single? She sounds like she's been desperate for love for a long time and she's projecting that onto you.
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    chxaviers OP. 8 hr. ago No. She's married to my dad - been married for twenty three years. I think from other events in life (which are too long to get into) she wants to relive her
  • 23
    youth through her kids, and my therapist seems to think this constant obsession with me dating has something to do with it.

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