Dude named Skyler claims giving boys a unisex name is unconscionably cruel, freaks out when brother-in-law named 'Indigo' disagrees: 'He acted like I had demanded he name his son Ella'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 10, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

I'm not completely sold on the idea that a name can determine your destiny. If I had gone by Emily instead of Emmy, I'd probably be the exact same person, but that doesn't stop people from saying that I am not and could never be an Emily. The jury's still out on whether being named Zack will give you a different personality than Zach, but I think we can agree that people feel strongly opinionated about their own names. 

One dude with a feminine name (Indigo) recently went viral for defending gender-neutral names to his brother-in-law, who also has a feminine name (Skyler). Skyler is having a baby with his wife and can't stop ranting and raving about the trauma that having a unisex name will give to a lad. He thinks it's bad across the board, while Indie thinks that it depends on the person. When Indie shared that milquetoast opinion with Skyler, he was less than pleased. 

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    via Jonas Kakaroto
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    AITA for telling my wife's BIL he can't speak for every guy with a unisex name or gender bending names?
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    My SIL (wife's sister) is expecting her first child with her husband. For the last four and a half months of her pregnancy he has been insufferable. SIL and him are no closer to finding a name for their baby and he uses the pregnancy and the fact they are actively still naming their baby to on unisex and gender bending names (boy names on girls and girl
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    names on boys). His name is Skyler and he talks about how cruel his parents were for giving him such a girly name and a name that is meant for girls more than boys. He has ranted about people trying to call him Skye and how that's such a girls name.
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    He rants and raves and regularly brings up the fact men should not have unisex or girls names and yet so many people think naming a boy Riley today is fine, or naming a boy Sage makes sense. He said it's wrong. He talked about meeting a young boy named Wren and how his parents had cursed him to forever be mistaken for a girl when they hear the name. He said no man or boy likes those names. No man or boy wants to be called those names.
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    As a male Indigo who goes by Indie in day to day life, including at work (and school and college when I went) I disagree that every guy feels this way. I don't. I also know a guy named Kenzie (from school) who never had a problem with his name. I know a guy named Sonny who hated his name because he felt it was too girly. So it balances out. But my wife's BIL is adamant that every man and boy with any name that gets used on girls too is disgusted by it and hates it. He will not let it go.
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    This came up again on Saturday when we went out to lunch. He was being loud and doing his same old rant as always. This time I spoke up and told him he can't speak for all guys with unisex or gender bending names because we don't all hate our names and he can look to me as an example if he wants. I also pointed to a guy he follows on social media who technically has a unisex name. I told him they might not be his thing, and that's fine, nobody can force him to like those names. But he's wrong to
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    He acted like I had personally demanded he name his son Ella or something. He called me a and told me I can't force my opinion down his throat like that. His wife told him to shut up and listen to what I actually said. But he told me I had humiliated him and told him he's wrong to have his opinions and that makes me TA. AITA? Should I have simply left the topic alone?
    via u/ExcitementWestern868
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    Haunting-Juice983. 10 hr. ago ΝΤΑ He's obviously in a set headspace, your opinion won't change it or have an impact To some people gender neutral names are on par with names that can be reduced to nicknames Our youngest is Danny, many people assume his name is Daniel and call him that
    via u/Haunting-Juice983
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    No, he's purely 'Danny' on his birth certificate My husband is from Belgium with the name 'Jan' Being in Australia you can bet your bottom dollar people assume I'm a lesbian as they see it written as Jan, until I explain it's pronounced 'Yarn' and he's a 6 foot 7 bloke
    via u/Haunting-Juice983
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    paul_rudds_drag_race 10 hr. ago NTA I'd have a hard time not laughing at his little tantrum. the amount of energy he's dedicated to this is wild. If this is what he considers a big problem, he's lucky in life. It's also telling that someone having a simple difference of opinion on this makes him feel "humiliated."
    via u/paul_rudds_drag_race
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    Yeah just keep shutting him down "You're free to have your preferences but you don't get to dictate how others feel about their own experience. We've all endured your rants long enough. We will not center your fragility."
    via u/paul_rudds_drag_race
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    betterthanur2 . 9 hr. ago I love how he said OP can't force his opinion down his throat but he feels he can't force his opinion on others.
    via u/betterthanur2
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    Spicy_Traveler94 - 8 hr. ago Right? OP should inform him that adults are allowed to change their names - even the male ones.
    via u/Spicy_Traveler94
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    faulty_rainbow. 8 hr. ago That was my very first thought, we have here a grown- man who is about to become a father and he can't even act adult enough to change his last name to something he likes, instead he keeps throwing tantrums about how bad his poor little life is because his parents gave him a name he considers girly. The sexism is strong with this one. Boo hoo.
    via u/faulty_rainbow
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    DopeAss-Dawndle . 7 hr. ago I don't think it's even sexism. I think it's transphobia, pure and simple. His masculinity is so fragile that the thought of someone mistaking him for female because of his name is terrifying to him! I wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing at him and giving little passive- aggressive jabs about his name, but I'm just petty like that.
    via u/DopeAss-Dawndle
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    SnipesCC. 5 hr. ago Sexism and transphobia are very tightly woven together, Or nailed together, if the idea of weaving is too girly for this
    via u/SnipesCC
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    Outside_Performer_66 8 hr. ago Agree. BIL was so wrong even BIL's own wife shut him down and said he was wrong to take offense at OP's actual words. BIL could not handle a simple difference of opinion about how OP should feel about OP's name (as if BIL's opinion can be the only correct opinion in the universe??), misconstrued OP's words, then called OP "a ." BIL sounds exhausting and immature.
    via u/Outside_Performer_66
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    BufferingJuffy ⚫ 9 hr. ago You can't force your opinion down my throat while I've spent 4.5 months trying to force MY opinion down YOUR throat, your BIL screams into the night, absolutely humiliated by his own petard. NTA from a woman with what's technically a boy's name and just fine with it.
    via u/BufferingJuffy

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