Dad insists on naming baby Nigel despite mom hating the name, won't take no for an answer: 'He said if we didn't name him Nigel, he would still call him that'

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    Am I overthinking my son's name?
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    My partner and I are having a son and my husband is DEAD SET on the name Nigel. I absolutely hate it. it feels Australian or something. it reminds me of Nigel Thornberry. yuck. I knew a Rigel growing up and the names just doesn't sound good to me. We compromised and it won't be our son's first name like he wanted, but it's still going to be his middle name. I feel like i carried this baby for 10 months to get a say in the first name (as long as it was one we both agreed on) to not have a say in
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    and he's getting my partners last name. My partner said if we didn't name him Nigel, he would still call him that. i just gave in because i don't want to confuse our child. it's not a family name or anything. he said he just feels like it will fit him/his soul. how can one logically argue with that?? one of my friends said it's really not that bad so if anyone has any redeeming qualities about it, i'm ALL EARS!! i don't even want to tell anyone his full name after he's born and if he's in troubl
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    Dogsanddonutspls . 1 day ago Your husband is a . It takes two yeses to make a kid. Pick something you both enjoy.
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    coolbeansfordays. 20 hr. ago Absolutely. I don't understand why so many people think they get exclusive rights to naming their baby, and why so many people take a hard stand on a name their partner hates.
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    charlouwriter 18 hr. ago So many men especially - someone needs to remind them that without a woman, they wouldn't have children at all!
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    SpecialistAd4244 · 19 hr. ago Truly. My husband and I would both have to vote yes in order for it to be a contender. Even if he really really loved a name, but I didn't, it ain't going on the list and vice versa.
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    That's only fair. And tbh, if the child is already getting his last name, she technically has more of a say, especially since SHE WENT THROUGH THE PAIN OF PREGNANCY AND BIRTH.
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    Statistician Naive277 1 day ago Veto it. • A name being "set" requires two yeses. If it's not a yes for you - it's not a yes. As a middle name you are humoring your husband but if you really dislike it, why? You are not overreacting. It sounds like you got steam rollered by a partner who wants his way and "will call him Nigel anyway"
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    moreoftenthannot OP 1 day ago i guess i just grew up under the impression that successful relationships are all about compromise, and i didnt want to start my kids life with a fight that would last forever so i felt it was easier to give in since it was just his middle name.
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    crowned_tragedy · 1 day ago edited 1 day ago Compromise to a reasonable degree. The name of your child is important, both parents need to like the name.
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    4oclocksundew · 1 day ago Except naming your kid, first or middle, something you hate ISNT a compromise. It's him getting his way and you getting something you hate. It will start your kids life with the precedent that dad gets his way even if it makes mom miserable.
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    EggMysterious7688 · 1 day ago The worst precedent ever. My daughter is 18 and I still regret her name. If your husband thinks it's ok to let you live with name regret forever, maybe he should live with it instead.
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    NoCustomer4958 - 1 day ago You're right that relationships are about compromising and starting your kid's life with a fight would be a pity. You're not the one who's refusing to compromise and who's making this a fight, though. Unless I'm missing where your husband has already compromised with the name? (No, making it his middle name and then calling him Nigel anyways is NOT a compromise.) Expecting your partner to consider your feelings is NOR starting a fight.
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    moreoftenthannot OP 1 day ago the name we decided on as a first name was something we both liked, but i suppose the compromise was Nigel not being his first name. I Vetoed that we had to keep looking for a first name so it became his middle
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    fit_it. 1 day ago My partner said if we didn't name him Nigel, he would still call him that. But it sounds like he's refusing to actually use the first name you both agreed on? Am I understanding correctly?
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    moreoftenthannot OP. 1 day ago he uses both interchangeably which brings my concern about confusing our baby. he said if we don't name him Nigel, he will call him that to see what he responds to. but my thought process is if you call a baby anything enough times, they will learn to respond to that.
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    fit_it . 1 day ago Yes, you're right - I actually ran into this issue with my now almost-19 month old where I called her "honey" way more than her actual name and then had to make a concerted effort to switch, because she responded to that only.
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    I would ask him straight up if this is how he plans to approach parenting. If you disagree on a rule (and you will, eventually), is he going to talk to you about it and debate back and forth until you come to a mutual agreement, or is he just going to override you every time?
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    IE My husband is a lot more cautious of a parent than I am. For a while he wanted our daughter to only play with actual, official baby toys that were marked age appropriate. This is not realistic in my mind, as what she wants to play with are the things we are most interested in. However, we had a loooong conversation about it, and laid out ground rules, so he could relax and feel she was safe, and I felt like I had enough options to keep her
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    entertained/occupied. If we hadn't done that, either I would have just ignored him and then he would feel scared whenever he wasn't with us, or I would have to deal with a monumental amount of tantrums trying to convince a 1 year old to only touch a very small subset of items in our house.
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    moreoftenthannot OP 1 day ago i will bring this up when we have our discussion later. I'm so thankful for everyone's responses as they've given me so much to think about and take into consideration

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