‘You’re not the Maid of Honor anymore’: A Friendship of 10+ Years Meets Its End After Bride-to-be Demotes MOH For a New Friend She Just Met

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 15, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome internet gals. Friendships aren't easy, to say the least. People can have different ideas of what it means to be friends, or how loyal they'll be as friends. Losing a friend can be as painful as a breakup in a romantic relationship. The turmoil and separation from the person, the tearing apart of good memories together. They've played a huge role in your life and then in one foul swoop they're gone. 

Long lasting friendships, on the other hand, can be a beautiful and enriching experience. Knowing you have someone to call when the going gets tough, someone to vent to, cry to, laugh with, it's healing in and of itself. When your friend is getting married, it can also put pressure on you. You always want to make a good impression, you want to empathize with them, help them with whatever you can. But when you feel betrayed…that's a different story. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 2 days ago Brilliant Leave1602 AITAH for refusing to go to my best friend's wedding for replacing me as MOH
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 02
    8 months ago my best friend of 5+ years, we'll call her A(21), announced she was getting married and asked me(21) to be her MOH. It was a no brainer for me because we've been each others' best friends since middle school.
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 03
    We spent months looking at wedding dresses, brides maids dresses, decorations, color schemes, going over the guest list etc. at this point everything was running smoothly and we were on great terms. She let me know up front I'd have to pay for my dress and pitch in with money for everything. I knew money was
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 04
    tight for her and her fiancé so I wanted to help, especially considering how close we were. Around 3 months until the wedding we were at a get together and were introduced to the gf of a friend of her fiancé and my bf, we'll call her L. A seemed to click with L
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 05
    immediately, they exchanged numbers and made plans to get coffee at a later date that same night.
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 06
    A week after the party I'm on ft with A and she's basically gushing about L. Going on about how cool and funny L is, about her career, about all the places she's already traveled at 20, how it's such a small world because L's mother works with her mother and A's cousin used to babysit L's
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 07
    little sister. All I could do was listen as she went on and on considering I had no connection with this girl. I was happy for her that she met someone she seemed to have such chemistry with.
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 08
    Not long after, I started noticing abnormal distance from A. If I texted it was at least 6 hours before I got a response every time. Other than "girl can't you text somebody back?" once, I didn't bring it up and brushed it off as stress about everything involving her big day. I started noticing pictures of L on her
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 09
    social media stories a lot. When she and I hung out, which wasn't much atp, it was only to discuss wedding technicalities and what I would be contributing, financially or other. These times were also usually cut short due to a prior engagement she had with L that she had to rush off to.
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 10
    At this point, the wedding was two weeks away. The morning of her bachelorette party, which I took the liberty of paying and throwing for her, something gave me the idea to ask if L was going to be a brides maid. She looked at me as if she had some mad news to tell me. “I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm sorry I haven't told you
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 11
    sooner, I'm making L my MOH." Obviously I was I but I took this news with a smile as to not ruin the day for her.
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 12
    Later that day at the party, I watched as A stood up with L and introduced her as her MOH. Most everyone clapped but a few of our friends looked at each other and then at me. Everything about this went through me so I stormed out. I haven't seen A in two months or had a real conversation about what happened. I'm conflicted about
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 13
    whether or not I'm completely in the wrong. Please let me know your thoughts on this, thanks
    via u/Brilliant Leave1602
  • 14
    tonyrains80 ⚫ 2d ago NTA. Send that A an invoice for the money you spent on her wedding. What a total AH she is. Make sure all mutual friends know you paid for a lot of stuff and she hasn't paid you back. Don't go meekly into the night.
    via u/tonyrains80
  • 15
    cthulularoo • 2d ago You're not wrong. That's a complete diss. So you're expected to eat the cost of everything you've done as MOH without the honor of being one? She's made her intentions clear. NTA for being 1.
    via u/cthulularoo
  • 16
    Crazy-cat-0689 • 2d ago NTA but A definitely is and I would make her pay you back everything you spent on the wedding or take her to small claims court.
    via u/Crazy-cat-0689
  • 17
    judging 2d ago NTA At all. She used you to - help pay for her bridal stuff and then dropped you like a hot potato. Not only that but she dropped you for someone she had only known 3 months or so. I would block her on everything and move on with my life.
    via u/judging
  • 18
    • Sudden-Magazine... 2d ago NTA. She asked you to be her MOH and after all the groundwork was laid she replaced you without a second thought with no regard for your feelings. Friends don't do this especially if she was your best friend. This sucks that
    via u/Sudden-Magazine
  • 19
    she did this to you. Please know this girl is not your friend.
    via u/Sudden-Magazine
  • 20
    BlueGreen 1956 • 2d ago ΝΤΑ You got used. Royally. Block and ghost and forget about A. To L with her.
    via u/BlueGreen 1956

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