'Stay in my own lane? You got it': Care facility worker told not to help clients during admin hours, boss begrudgingly has to get their hands dirty

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 22, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

It's always satisfying when an authoritarian boss who regards themselves as above the rules finds themselves disadvantaged by circumstances of their own design.

This worker worked in a draining middle management position in a care facility that was overseen by a "micromanaging dinosaur" of a boss who demanded strict adherence to rules—even the nonsensical and arbitrary ones they made up—and relishing in the chance at catching workers out for not following them. If you're getting an image of Nurse Ratchet from "One Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest" in your mind, you're probably on the right track…

At one point, the worker was forbidden from interacting with clients during their admin hours—which their boss was constantly diminishing to keep them on their toes… So when they were asked to help with a client in need that left only one person able to help with the situation at hand… The boss herself, who hated getting her hands dirty.

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  • 01
    "She scoffed and told me I was being deliberately obtuse."
    via Steven HWG
  • 02
    Stay in my own lane? You got it. LOC Happened at my last job, but was reminded of it this morning. TL/DR: Boss tells me to stay out of the operations of a similar service, ends up having to actually do some work.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 03
    The backstory: I worked in a middle management position that coordinated an after hours care program for adults. I had a micromanaging dinosaur for a boss, let's call her Hettie. Hettie oversaw the day operation as well, and I shared an office with the direct manager of that program. Given they operated at different times we often shared clients, but as I did my admin work during business hours I often briefly visited the
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 04
    clients in their day activities to ask them about their preferred activities for my program. I had no real opportunity to consult them at any other time, particularly as Hettie decreased my allotted admin time further and further. She just loved tightening the noose, and took particular delight in nobody ever being able to get comfortable in their role, firmly believing that if she kept us
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 05
    all on our toes she would get more work out of us. It was stressful and incredibly draining. Another strict rule of Hettie's was that despite female staff being allowed to provide personal care (showers, changing etc) to male clients, she did not allow male staff to provide intimate care to female clients. This will be important to the story (and yes, I'm fully aware this was gender discrimination and I argued the point multiple times but was overruled).
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 06
    The only thing Hettie loved more than setting arbitrary rules, was catching us out 'breaking' them. It was near impossible to work the position without breaking ANY of her rules, one of which was that I was not allowed to involve myself in the day service. 'Involvement' basically constituted me being anywhere out of my office and near clients during the day. She would sneak quietly around the building, listening
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 07
    around corners and then leap out suddenly to catch the 'offender'. One day, one of the clients would be transitioning from the day activities straight into my program for the evening. The entire premise of the program was 'client choice' and as such I needed to know what my client would like to cook for dinner so I could purchase groceries before I clocked off.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 08
    I was discussing it with the client when Hettie zoomed in around the door and asked to see me in her office. She dressed me down for 'interfering' in the other program and told me in no uncertain terms that I was to stay completely away from it and 'in my own lane', or I'd be facing disciplinary action. Fine. I knew it would come back to bite her.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 09
    Mere days later, the day program was winding up for the day, with only a few late staying clients remaining along with one male worker. One of the female clients had a need for a change of clothing. The male worker came and knocked on the door of my office to let me know the client needed changing. Cue the malicious compliance: Worker: Jane needs a change of clothes. Me:
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 10
    loudly, knowing Hettie was next door in her office with the door wide open Oh, I'm sorry! I'd love to help, but unfortunately you're currently working with the day program and I've been expressly instructed I'm not allowed to interfere. Maybe Hettie can help? I'm sure she's in her office. Worker: knowing all too well we put up with from Hettie, gives the me a sly grin and moves on to Hettie's office to interrupt a phone call she was having because hey, the client comes first!
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 11
    I dutifully stay at my desk listening to her ask the worker to seek my assistance, knowing full well that she heard every word of the previous conversation. Worker repeats my refusal to her and she goes off after much grumbling to assist the client.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 12
    Of course, Hettie ripped me a new one for 'not being a team player' later on. I simply pointed out her insistence earlier in the week that I not involve myself in any way with the other service. She scoffed and told me I was being deliberately obtuse and of course if there was a need I was duty bound to meet it. I reiterated that it was impossible for me to know which tasks would be deemed dutiful and therefore
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 13
    innocently followed her instructions to the letter. She had nothing to come back with on this occasion. It did, unfortunately escalate her bullying with me but it was on that trajectory regardless. I ultimately burned out a couple of years later and had to leave but that one act of malicious compliance remains a bright spot in what was otherwise almost a decade of appalling treatment.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 14
    I've been in a new role for over two years where I have incredibly supportive management and colleagues. But I still see Hettie around and every time, I flip her the bird.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 15
    Somerset76 2 hr. ago • Thank you for cheering me up! I have had so many horrible Hattie's in my life! Good to see you stand up to her! Obernewtyn OP 2 hr. ago You're welcome! She's still in the role, no idea how. Even though I knew I'd wear it later it was still so gratifying to finally get a small win over her.
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 16
    teashirtsau 2 hr. ago Gotta get those 'rules' in writing to make sure she can't retract. Obernewtyn OP 2 hr. ago. edited 2 hr. ago Oh I learned that lesson very well in that job. I asked for everything in writing. Later on, she did get in very minor trouble for directing me to follow an unlawful request after she asked me
    via u/Obernewtyn
  • 17
    sarcastically whether she had to put it in writing and I gleefully told her to go. right ahead, then forwarded the result to HR and my union. Aside from small things like that I swear she had something over the HR manager or something. She seemed untouchable!
    via u/Obernewtyn

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