20+ lame corporate gifts and bonuses for longtime employees: 'It was a pen. Not a nice pen.'

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  • 01
    "A certificate thanking me for my 35 years of service"
  • 02
    Request: Your worst corporate gift or 'bonus' We were discussing a recent round of gift cards sent to every employee -- $50 Amazon cards -- and what the worst things a previous employer has ever given us.
  • 03
    Most of us had the vanity book from the CEO -- usually a 'how to be an effective leader' bit of drivel -- some of us had gift certificates to the company store.
  • 04
    Myself? One Christmas, about 25 years ago, our company gave everyone in our three-person department a box of chocolates.
  • 05
    Not "Everyone got their own box of chocolates," I mean "All of us. Got A Box of chocolates." A Whitman sampler of ten delicious candies split three ways. This was a wafer-handler robotics company in Silicon Valley.
  • 06
    bowchickabowchicka 18 hr. ago I guess it'd be the 'christmas party', which was advertised as half a day of work and half a day of food and drink, for which we'd be paid a full day. It ended up being a potluck dinner, and when I asked where we'd be having it, I was told it would be the aisle in which we were currently standing.
  • 07
    So I got to clear a bunch of space in the warehouse, move a bunch of pallets into said space, sweep out the aisle, then carry the tables and chairs downstairs from the office to set them up for the potluck dinner. Which I couldn't afford to bring anything nice, since I'd just started the job a couple of months ago and had maxed out my credit card buying my family christmas presents.
  • 08
    Grizzb 16 hr. ago I got choice of a spatula Microsoft zune or vhs player for my work year work anniversary in 2018. I hung up the the spatula in my office as a reminder to leave work early
  • 09
    Trepto42 18 hr. ago My mom worked for a coffee chain for ten years. As her tenth anniversary approached, the DM let her know that her pin would be there soon. Unique pins were a point of interest for staff & customers, so she was really excited about it.
  • 10
    Except... it was a pen. Not a nice pen, basically a branded Bic Stic. It didn't have her name or "10 years" on it, & it wasn't even a pen she could use at work. She'd been cutting back her hours for a while, but that was the last straw.
  • 11
    Htoof. 15 hr. ago This wooden photo display, accompanied by branded, inspirational cards to display on it. A BLOCK OF WOOD INSTEAD OF A BONUS.
  • 12
    lavenderflowermeadow. 16 hr. ago You guys are getting something??
  • 13
    LameUserName123456 16 hr. ago $5 Dunks gift card for 5 yrs of service, $1 for each year. Their generosity was overwhelming.
  • 14
    Low-Rabbit-9723 15 hr. ago A corporate logo'd hoodie... that we were not allowed to wear at work.
  • 15
    Longjumping-Swim8201 16 hr. ago I got transferred to another department in a fortune 500 company and for some reason the new manager did not like me. For Christmas I got a little Santa figure on a stick that obviously was taken out of a holiday floral arrangement. Meanwhile, this woman made easily $500,000 a year.
  • 16
    Wolfman01a 16 hr. ago . 10 years of working IT. 2 guys covering the issues of 2500 factory positions. I got a cheap clock. One of those cheese plastic dome clocks a 7 year old would get their mom for christmas for 6 bucks. Thanks..
  • 17
    thatdamnedfly. 14 hr. ago My mother used to attend a lot of conventions and meetings in the world of American social services. They give out a lot of weird knickknacks at these things, stress toys, plastic slinkies, bendy pens. She comes back from one with an armload of this stuff, and in one, was a little stress doll man made of foam rubber with the logo: Work is Freedom printed on the back. Absolutely the worst.
  • 18
    dr bettie 16 hr. ago Useless corporate- branded junk: a USB charging puck, a 3D- printed logo, and a letter saying "we can't do this without you" - .. that arrived the day after I (and 10% of the company) had been laid off. A toss up between that, and another project's thank you gift that arrived broken two months later.
  • 19
    newhappyrainbow. 12 hr. ago I got an enamel pin celebrating 5 years with the company... three months after my 9 year anniversary.
  • 20
    shezapopsicle 13 hr. ago My last job posted a harsh memo about how gifts will be distributed in an orderly fashion by last name because they didn't want us to all rush for it at once. It was a bottle of olive oil.
  • 21
    tuotone75 17 hr. ago It's a toss up between a candy dish with no candy or a hot dog bar.
  • 22
    nickis84 13 hr. ago A certificate thanking me for my 35 years of service. No gift of any kind. Just the certificate they expect you to display. Pass.
  • 23
    Duke582 15 hr. ago Branded coffee mugs!!!! What that did not excite you enough, well why don't we have a town hall about it and then send everyone UNBRANDED, CLEARANCE BACKPACKS!!!
  • 24
    Thanks for a great year everybody and the millions and millions executives got to bonus themselves. Enjoy your worthless nicknacks! Now it's time to step it up and be a TEAM PLAYER because we are going to be awarding $5 Starbucks gift cards to a select few every month who embody the company Vision!!

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