‘[He’s] trying to poke holes in their offer': Employee is convinced not to quit when boss goes back on scheduling issue, but she receives a better offer and quits anyway, boss panics

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jun 23, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

Sorry boss, the damage is done. 

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  • At what point in a toxic work environment would you still quit even if they offered you everything you ever wanted? Do you let some things slide from your micromanaging manager because they're now giving you more PTO? Would you ignore that moment your manager shamed you in front of the entire staff for some mistake that was actually their fault because now you're getting $10k more in your salary? What acts are unforgivable from your employer that you would rather leave at any cost than stay there and still work for them?

    For this woman, it was being talked down to like she wasn't the best and most loyal employee they've ever had. She works in the veterinarian field and worked for a notoriously stressful hospital. But the boss and here seemed to get along fine, so she just kept trucking along. Until she needed to amend her scheduled and he talked down to her as if she were a spoiled child asking for a second ice cream cone before dinner. So she quit. Luckily, the boss needs her, so he called her back in and gave her the schedule she wanted. However, the damage was done and after only several days of deciding to stay, she received a much better offer at a new job and she accepted. Her boss is panicking even more now, but she doesn't even care anymore, she just wants out. What would you do?

  • 01
    "I put in my resignation letter today and I could tell my boss was panicked."
    via Ivan Radic via Flickr
  • 02
    Accepted a new job and I'm leaving my panicked boss severely understaffed Advice Needed All in all I've had a great face to face relationship with my boss but I've always had a problem with him underpaying his staff, lacking any true employee benefits, and overworking/burning out his employees.
    via Sunsolari9
  • 03
    My loyalty to the company started to waver when he implemented new company rules into our handbook stating all vacation requests must be submitted 45 days prior but they can be denied at will so check with management before making any official plans. As well as the fact that you cannot request any time off around a holiday. I work in veterinary medicine and my job is in a large high volume clinic. Working holidays comes with the territory when patients need care, however I firmly believe if you'
    via Sunsolari9
  • 04
    My breaking point was when he rearranged my long standing schedule. despite being one of his most senior employees. I am not available on Fridays because I'm in an established long distance relationship. Having this day off enables me to have the weekend off in rotation so that I can visit him. I am not unreasonable and would be willing to work on the days I'm really needed but when I approached him about it he spoke down to me and with complete disgust saying I'm not special and I don't get to
    via Sunsolari9
  • 05
    would get a day off in the middle of the week. Between the way I was spoken to after pulling crazy shifts for this company and training an army of his newest wave of new recruits, I'd had enough. I was unwilling to sacrifice my relationship on top of everything I'd already done for them so I quit. I came back 3 hours later to collect my things and I was pulled into his office to negotiate where he convinced me to stay.
    via Sunsolari9
  • 06
    He said it was a big misunderstanding and my schedule would only be rearranged for a month and then it would go back to normal so I agreed and he has held true to that promise. During the few hours I had quit, I had reached out to old colleagues and was given interview opportunities that I still decided to pursue to see what else was out there and I accepted a very generous offer from a new hospital.
    via Sunsolari9
  • 07
    I put in my resignation letter today and I could tell my boss was panicked. He was asking me all about my new payrate and benefits. I lied, giving him a much higher pay rate than I was actually offered because I didn't want to deal with a counter offer. He implied to me that he would match everything I was offered and that we'd have another meeting on Monday. Fine.
    via Sunsolari9
  • 08
    Well I get home and all of sudden my phone starts blowing up with text messages from my boss. He's asking me what other employees I'd told about my resignation and asking to see my offer letter. I said I would bring it in for my next shift and he demanded I take a picture of my benefits section and send it to him, then when I did that in an effort to make the texts stop, he proceeded to try to poke holes in their offered benefits implying that they are misleading. He
    via Sunsolari9
  • 09
    complained about how it seemed the whole hospital now knew and he even went to far as asking if he could call me. I declined and said he needs to wait to speak to me until my next shift because I'd had enough. I am a very meek introvert who avoids confrontation at all costs. It took a lot of courage and pep talks from loved ones to even initiate the meeting for my resignation. I'm so startled by how this is being handled and I feel lost.
    via Sunsolari9
  • 10
    AITAH for accepting a new job after he gave me my schedule back? I am leaving him severely understaffed with a ton of new barely trained employees. Should I have been more open to hearing him out?
    via Sunsolari9
  • 11
    churchofdan . • 8h ago Edited 4h ago You know why he's severely understaffed with barely trained employees? Because he's a terrible manager and every other professional with a backbone wouldn't put up with his BS. You should've stayed quit the first time. He has no respect for anyone's time/life and behaves like a tyrant with their little fiefdom. He's got employee issues because he's clearly very bad at managing a business and people. ↑ 86 86 Reply
    via churchofdan
  • 12
    Slice-Remote 8h ago • NTA. As someone who employs people and hired people for myself and Fortune 500 companies, this is a boss who doesn't realize the talent in his team. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut about Fridays and you wouldn't have thought about quitting. But he opened it and devalued you. Normally I'd ask for a 2 week notice but he doesn't deserve one in this case and i wouldn't list him as a reference. If you want, DM me and I'll put you down as one of my past employees. Nothin
    via Slice-Remote
  • 13
    Tangential-Thoughts • 8h ago Do not decline your other offer. Follow thru. Lots of reasons for that. 1. You are a "very meek introvert who avoids confrontation at all costs". People will walk all over you and ruin your mental health if you do not know that sometimes you take priority in your life. 2. Your workplace practices are abusive. 3. Your boss is unethical and abusive, including violating your boundaries and disrespecting you.
    via Tangential-Thoughts
  • 14
    Alive-Surround1280 . 8h ago Nta. You might get along with him, but it's still not a good work environment for you. Don't stay because you feel bad. He's panicking because he's messed up, and because he can't possibly match the benefits due to it being a company. 10 Reply
    via Alive-Surround1280
  • 15
    ipeezie ⚫ . 8h ago he will fire you the first chance he gets. If you go back it will be to train your replacement.
    via ipeezie
  • 16
    Naturallyasaint • 8h ago As someone who left a tech startup company due to a toxic work environment and terrible boss. Please get him to acknowledge his underpay, BUT first, set yourself up elsewhere, and please LEAVE. Once you've accepted another job, personally, i'd show your other colleagues what's out their so they can look elsewhere, too. You deserve better, so go be happy and appreciated elsewhere.
    via Naturallyasaint
  • 17
    Especially now that he knows you're out the door and looking at better offers. He could easily change his mind once he gets you to stay and make your life a living. nightmare at work. He may be agreeable now and turn out worse once he knows he's got you back. Please be careful OP. ↑ 4 Ад Reply
    via Naturallyasaint
  • 18
    alteregomelette . 7h ago NTA. From what you've described, he doesn't respect his employees. He's also your boss, not a family member. You don't owe him anything. I hope your new job is great! ↑ 4 B Reply ...
    via alteregomelette
  • 19
    Pale_Pumpkin_7073 .7h ago NTA but stop giving information about your new job to your boss. It's none of his business how much you get paid or what your benefits are. Tell him to drop it or you won't finish out your time there and will leave immediately. ↑ 4 Ад Reply
    via Pale_Pumpkin_7073
  • 20
    Fragrant-Reserve4832 6h ago . Even if that other job pays less leave. Leave ASAP and never look back because that guy will ruin your life gor his company then lay you off the moment he has a cheaper employee to replace you with. ↑ 3 ↓ Reply
    via Fragrant-Reserve4832
  • 21
    Heavy-Quail-7295 · 4h ago I would not work for your current boss. Take the new offer. You don't owe loyalty to a business, I mean he just told you you aren't special and he doesn't care about your personal needs. Plus all the "demands" - your answer should be NO to showing him your offer and benefits. It isn't his business. And frankly, if he's a competitor, I'm sure your new company would frown on sharing those details with him.
    via Heavy-Quail-7295
  • 22
    CinnamonBlue .7h ago You should never have shown him your offer letter. It's 100% none of his business and "belongs" to your future employer. I'd be I if I was your future employer and you shared my company's business with another. ☆ 2 B Reply
    via CinnamonBlue
  • 23
    • DawnShakhar 3h ago NTA. You feel lost because your boss is manipulating you. He had no right to see any document about your new employment, and sending him the information enabled him to try to undermine you. From now on, just say no to any demand - no talking or texting outside work hours, no information about your new job or other offers, no private conferences without a third party (HR representative or your colleague) present. Just work out your notice and leave.
    via DawnShakhar

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