'I woke up on the short end of the stick': 30+ Adorably dumb mixed metaphors

Nothing riles up a friend group or family gathering quicker than someone getting a word or phrase a little bit wrong. It has to be just wrong enough that your friend has still earnestly said it, then there's an awkward pause while you figure out how to tell them they got that phrasing wrong. Then, your friend group will usually explode into laughter, and the joke will possibly gain infamy among that group of people (see: the Grink tweet for the best example of this). 

These people shared the funniest mixed metaphors, aka malaphors, that they've ever heard. You'll definitely want to save a few of these to send to your own friend group, because they're very funny. Some of them even make sense despite their mixed-up origins, like one person who suggested, "The grass is always greener til the cows come home." 

After you check out this selection of cute misunderstandings, read about this neighbor who was so out of line that another neighbor gave her the insult of a lifetime. 

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Author image for Remy Millisky Remy Millisky
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