‘He’s not my son’: Man Pays For the College Tuition of His Biological Son, But His Baby-Mama Expects That He’ll Pay For Her Other Child’s Tuition As Well

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 6, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Hey there internet folk. Does the word 'entitlement' mean anything to you? It seems as if people are constantly delusional about themselves, and the world revolves around them in their head. It's what we call 'main character energy' these days. You expect to be owed things that, well frankly, the world just doesn't owe you. 

Let's take this Reddit thread as an example. Woman gets pregnant with a man's baby and has it. Same woman gets pregnant with a different man's baby and has it. Now woman expects man A to pay for the college tuition of offspring B. Does that make any sense at all? It's not his son! And it's not like college tuition is something small that can just pay for easily; it's hundreds of thousands of dollars for one person alone! Again, entitlement anyone? Read below for the full and juicy story. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 9 hr. ago proposalabsolutel AITA for paying for my son's college tuition in full (he lives with my baby momma) but not his half-brother (her other son with another man)?
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 02
    I need some outside perspective on a family issue that's been bothering me lately. So, here's the situation: three years ago, I had an incredible stroke of luck and won a significant amount of money through gambling. Like, it was a life-changing amount. Since then, I've been careful with my finances, making sure the money lasts and is used wisely.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 03
    My son, "Jake," who is 18, lives with his mom (my ex) and her other son, "Ethan," from a different relationship. Jake is a bright kid with big dreams, and I've always wanted to support him in any way I can. With the money I won, I decided to pay for Jake's college tuition in full. This means he can go to the college of his choice without worrying
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 04
    about student loans or working multiple jobs to make ends meet.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 05
    Now, here's where things get tricky. My ex approached me and asked if I could also contribute to Ethan's college fund. Ethan is 17 and also planning to go to college soon. While I understand her position and genuinely like Ethan, I don't feel the same level of responsibility towards him as I do for Jake. He's not my biological son, and I've never had
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 06
    a parental role in his life beyond being cordial and supportive in a general sense.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 07
    My ex argues that since Jake and Ethan are brothers and live under the same roof, it's unfair and creates tension between them if only Jake gets his college paid for. She believes it sends a message that I value Jake more and that it's creating a rift in their relationship. However, I feel like my primary obligation is to my biological son, Jake, and my
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 08
    financial support should reflect that.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 09
    I did suggest to my ex that maybe Ethan's biological father could contribute more, but she said he's not in a financial position to help much. I feel for Ethan, and I don't want him to feel left out or less important, but I also think it's not entirely my responsibility to provide for him.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 10
    So, AITA for deciding to fully fund my son's college tuition but not his half-brother's? Am I being unfair or selfish here? I could use some unbiased opinions on this. Thanks.
    via u/proposalabsolutel
  • 11
    Sebscreen 9h ago NTA at all. It is outrageous that she accused you of "caring about Jake more". Of course you care about your son more than a casual acquaintance!
    via u/Sebscreen
  • 12
    Do talk to your son to see how he's feeling though. Protect him if they are trying to gang up on, guilt, or punish him as a tactic to strongarm you.
    via u/Sebscreen
  • 13
    RaddishSlaw ⚫ 9h ago NTA You have one son, she has two sons. With you paying for one of her sons (Jake) she is now free to fund only one of her two sons, not both of them.
    via u/RaddishSlaw
  • 14
    You are being prudent with your winnings as it would be easy to spend it on yourself and not pay for Jake. If it had been the other guy who won money would he pay for both sons or only Ethan or neither?
    via u/RaddishSlaw
  • 15
    Patricknc18 ⚫9h ago NTA - This is exactly how good hearted people that come in to large sums of money become broke. Good job sticking to your principles.
    via u/Patricknc18
  • 16
    UnusualPotato 1515 • 8h ago 'She believes it sends a message that I value Jake more' right you do because he's your son! Ethan is no one to you & not your
    via u/UnusualPotato 1515
  • 17
    responsibility. He's her responsibility & his father's! Tell her straight up he's not your son, therefore not your problem & owe him nothing. Any concerns for Ethan goes straight to his own father. End of discussion.
    via u/UnusualPotato 1515
  • 18
    Glittering_Mouse2... 9h ago NTA He's not your kid
    via u/Glittering_Mouse2
  • 19
    RNGinx3 8h ago NTA. "I'm paying for Jake because he is my son. I'm not paying for Ethan, because despite being Jake's brother, he is not my son. I'm not paying for Jake's best friend, cousin, or classmates either. As Ethan's parent, YOU, his father, and Ethan himself are
    via u/RNGinx3
  • 20
    responsible for his expenses. You are not entitled to what other people have just because you want it. As you are saving on Jake's tuition and you ARE his mother, you should have even more money to spend on Ethan. Doubly so, because Ethan has his own father, whereas | am the only parent paying
    via u/RNGinx3
  • 21
    for Jake's tuition. Lastly, lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."
    via u/RNGinx3

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