‘My lawyer is giving me the green light to cut off my step daughter’: Soon-to-be divorced man is exiled by his stepdaughter after his ex-wife feeds her blatant lies

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 9, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Even when you try to do right by your chosen family, they might drop you when things get complicated.

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  • Divorces can be messy and more often than not open up a lot of old wounds and doubts about if you truly did right by your family. What led to this? Could I have given more of myself, more money, more love? The messier facet of a divorce is when you truly care about the children, biological or otherwise, and they end up choosing the biological parent despite their red flags and everything you've done for them. Not to say separating from a former loved one isn't difficult on its own, but having kids in the mix can definitely complicate things further.

    The man in this story is reaching out to the internet in hopes of solace and advice; he's going through a divorce and still truly cares about his soon-to-be ex-wife's daughter. After having dished out a car and a large portion of his finances for her health insurance, phone, and college costs, she has taken to her mother's side in the divorce because of lies. The mother claims that the man has deleted all of her social media, to which the original poster says that is absolutely not true. Despite having this conversation with his stepdaughter, he remains blocked on all forms of communication. Fed up, the man is seriously considering cutting her off financially after speaking with his divorce lawyer. Here's what others have to say about the sticky situation.

  • 01
    AITAH for cutting off my ex wife's 22 year old daughter in the middle of the divorce
    via Big_Stretch_3645
  • 02
    Ok I need help AITAH for cutting my former stepdaughter off. The background is I married her mom. Raised my step daughter since she was 9. gave her everything she wanted, supported her in all of her extra curricular activities, when her car broke down and too expensive to fix I let her use my dream car a Dodge Challenger,
    via Big_Stretch_3645
  • 03
    and when she went to college I promised her she would come out debt free. Oh yeah and when she needed money or her rent paid then I would pay it and sacrifice the last little bit of cash I had for her. I am in the middle of divorcing her mom right now, and she said
    via Big_stretch_3645
  • 04
    she doesn't want to be in the middle of it. But things I would tell her some how would get back to her mom here and there. Now she is living with her mom since graduating college. My ex wife accused me of deleting all of her social media and my step daughter believed her and went off on me and told me I need to
    via Big_Stretch_3645
  • 05
    move on and other things. But I showed her proof I didn't do any of that. My step daughter didn't apologize for her accusations. My step daughter has blocked me on her social media, blocked me on her phone (which I pay for). I also pay for her health insurance and the car insurance. My lawyer has give Me the green light to cut off my step daughter. So I am asking before I do it for suggestions and to see if IATAH
    via Big_Stretch_3645
  • 06
    • FordWarrier 18h ago NTA Let your attorney notify her attorney that as of X/X/2024 you will no longer be paying for health insurance, car insurance or her phone and anything else that you pay for. You're moving on, just like she told you to do.
    via FordWarrier
  • 07
    introverted_smal... 17h ago NTA nobody who has you blocked from basic communication should expect their communication to be paid for
    via introverted_smallfry
  • 08
    Celestina_Girlie • 19h ago . Guess it's time for her to grow up or to start getting money and coverage from mom
    via Celestina_Girlie
  • 09
    Laiko_Kairen • 19h ago Here's the thing, bud You're not cutting her off Her mother's divorce is cutting her off You're not making any decisions here at all, you're reacting to decisions others have made
    via Laiko_Kairen
  • 10
    • Listen_2learn 19h ago She's 22 and living with her mother, she's an adult and her parents can provide health insurance coverage for her. From here on out- your relationship should not be transactional - or about your providing financial support and assistance her parents should provide.
    via Listen_2learn
  • 11
    SquirrellyDog2016 . 19h ago NTA. I know you're hurt by her actions. I'm sorry for what you're going through. Please recognize you aren't financially responsible for her. Mom needs to handle those finance decisions now. Hopefully, at some point, she'll reestablish the father/daughter connection you created. She's "siding"
    via SquirrellyDog2016
  • 12
    with her Mom now, which is normal, because she's still young and her Mom is expecting her not to speak with you. Eventually, as she ages, she very well might reach out to reconnect. You were a big part of her life growing up and that's not easily forgotten. If
    via SquirrellyDog2016
  • 13
    eventually, she chooses to reconnect with you and it's. not for the social bond you created with her, but only for monetary help, you'll have to decide how you want to handle that. Wishing you all the best.
    via SquirrellyDog2016
  • 14
    . Soundlcy6620 · 16h ago So not the 1. Never too soon for the young lady to learn words, deeds and attitude have consequences. NTA. NTA. NTA
    via SoundIcy6620
  • 15
    Odd_Welcome79... • 17h ago NTA... She made her choice. If she asks why, just tell her you are taking her advice. Moving on from everyone who is taking you for granted and blocking you from their lives. So you are respecting their wishes and moving on. Her included.
    via Odd_Welcome7940
  • 16
    PassComprehen... • 13h ago NTA- Since you have already got all the clear from your attorney, you're good to go. Send her a registered letter stating upon legal advice and her request on / /xxxx you will no longer be paying for cellphone but will release the number so she can get her own service; no longer be paying for health or car insurance. She
    via PassComprehensive425
  • 17
    will need to find her own coverage for those as with the divorce she will no longer under eligible under your plans. This will be the last communication she receives from you unless she changes her mind.
    via PassComprehensive425
  • 18
    You might get an angry text because this is probably not what she meant. But the reality is she is college. graduate and has two parents. Your stepdaughter needs to learn the world is not black and white. And if she chooses to take her mom's word as gospel, then she could face expensive consequences.
    via PassComprehensive425
  • 19
    Strider291 · 19h ago NTA Were you going to keep paying for all this post-divorce anyway? You're not really cutting her off, the divorce is. Its ludicrous for her to think she is entitled to anything from you at this point to begin with, and you are under no obligation to keep funding her existence if she hates you. Time to get a job kiddo.
    via Strider291
  • 20
    KmartCentral • 19h ago NTA, you've been incredibly supportive and it sounds like her mom is intentionally sabotaging your relationship, and she's going along with it because unfortunately she's still her mother and probably just will be loyal to her no matter what in this instance. Sadly I think the best thing is to just cut her off the insurance, stop paying for her things, and focus on moving forward, because she's made clear she doesn't want to support you. She's 22, not a child, she knows to
    via KmartCentral
  • 21
    Awkward Mom0511 15h ago • NTA. She's 22 and she chose to cut you off by blocking you from everything. If she doesn't want a relationship with you, you're certainly not obligated in any way to keep financially supporting her
    via Awkward_Mom0511
  • 22
    Rowana133 18h ago NTA. She should learn not to bite the hand that feeds her...or in this case, the hand that she mooches off of financially. Her mom can take over the bills. If you really want to be nice then you can give her 30 day notice but it's not required.
    via Rowana133
  • 23
    ImAScatMAnn 14h ago NTA Relationships are built and maintained by both parties. Your stepdaughter can't expect for there to be a bridge between the two of you if she isn't maintaining her half and causing destruction to your half. I'm looking forward to the update where after she's financially cut off, she all of a sudden is apologetic, while blaming her mother for manipulating her. This of course comes after they publically paint you as the bad guy for "disowning an innocent child".
    via ImAScattMAnn
  • 24
    pizzaplanetvibes • 15h ago I say this is neutral. You're NTA for cutting her off financially and distancing yourself. It's unfortunate and obvious that she is taking her mother's side. You did raise her since she was nine. I would write a letter to her because it seems like you're the closest thing to a dad she's had. She seems young from your post, maybe early 20s?
    via pizzaplanetvibes

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family drama aita AITAH fatherhood wife reddit story advice divorce entitled family step family reddit thread Reddit step daughter entitled people Father family advice
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