Girl Publicly Confronts Fiancé After He Uses Her Credit Card and Car Without Permission, Leading to a Dispute in Front of Friends: ‘You embarrassed me’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 23, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

When a couple decides to get married, they face a lot of changes that come with completely tying their lives together, which cannot be easy for either partner in the relationship. The best way to handle all those changes is to always talk it through with each other. Having full transparency and communication is truly the key to a good relationship – there is a reason why it is such a cliché. 

That is the main problem for the couple in this Reddit story, as something in their communication with each other is not working well. While OP (original poster) wants her fiancé to always communicate with her, especially when it comes to him using her belongings, he fails to do so, thinking that he should not ask his fiancé permission to use her things. The breaking point between the two unfortunately happened when they had company, as OP could not let her fiancé's actions slide anymore.

Scroll down to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a series of weird stories about funny dating preferences.

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  • 01
    AITA for flipping out on my fiancé in front of a crowd because he keeps taking my brand new vehicle without even telling me?
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 02
    My fiancé Tom has a habit of taking my stuff without asking BECAUSE he feels I should be able to do the same with his stuff. He's constantly saying "you don't have to ask, just take it, what's mine is yours"
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 03
    whenever I ask to use anything of his and he expects to have the same rule applied when it comes to my belongings. I never agreed to this. In fact, I have voiced multiple times that it's rud not to ask and
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 04
    have voiced irritation when he uses my stuff without asking. When it comes to small stuff, I get irritated because he never puts my stuff back where it belongs and then I have to go on a wild goose chase
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 05
    to find the item because he can't remember where he put it down either (he has ADHD). For instance, he forgets ALL of his travel mugs in his vehicle and instead of going to grab them, he will just take mine until ALL the travel mugs are in his vehicle.
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 06
    But honestly, the main issue is money and my vehicle, if I'm being honest. If he needs something and he doesn't have the money, he will just take my debit card without asking beforehand because he
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 07
    would expect me to do the same with his debit card if I need something. Or recently (literally a week ago) I bought a brand new vehicle and there are days when I wake up in the morning and him
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 08
    and my vehicle are gone because he's taken my vehicle to go to the gym instead of his vehicle because mine is far better on gas. Or he went to donate his old clothing the other day and again, took my
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 09
    vehicle. Or he went grocery shopping 4 nights ago and took my vehicle. And last night, we had a bunch of people over and one of his buddies needed to go to the store so Tom said he would go with him and he just grabbed my
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 10
    vehicle keys. I told him no. He just kind of stood there staring at me, so I said "what? You're not taking my vehicle to drive your friend around. Start asking to use my because I'm getting extremely
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 11
    pid off that you take my vehicle all the time. And if you have my debit card, you better leave that on the counter too because you're not taking that either." He looked extremely embarrassed and put both my keys and my debit card on
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 12
    the counter and walks outside. He comes back in maybe 5 minutes later, saying his buddy decided to take off for the night and then he went upstairs to our bedroom.
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 13
    Later on when everyone else left he said that I embarrassed him. That if it was such a big deal for him to use my stuff than I should have "brought it up" prior to this. I told him I had brought it up, several
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 14
    times in fact, because him constantly using my stuff is really building a wall of resentment at this point. He has his own vehicle. He has his own money. He has his own means to do so why is he using mine? He said he lost his
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 15
    debit card (true, he lost it 2 days ago and is waiting for a replacement) and that he didn't feel the vehicle issue was even something to get worked up about because I am allowed to use his vehicle whenever I want (he's given
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 16
    me permission but I refuse to drive it and have only driven it twice because I HAD to in the past 3 years). He says I shouldn't have embarrassed him like that and I should have waited until everyone
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 17
    was gone to say something. But I'm getting tired of saying anything. It's my , don't touch it without permission. I don't think it's a hard concept. AITA?
    via u/Low-Arm1576
  • 18
    No_Cod3515. 16 hr. ago NTA. Your fiancé's taking your stuff without asking is not cool. Tom keeps using your new car and debit card without permission. You've told him to
    via u/No_Cod3515
  • 19
    stop many times, but he doesn't listen. You finally called him out in front of friends when he tried to take your car again. He says you embarrassed him, but you're just setting boundaries. Your stuff, your rules.
    via u/No_Cod3515
  • 20
    CakePhool 16 hr. ago NTA. He only heard you this time because he felt embarrassed.
    via u/CakePhool
  • 21
    solo_throwaway254247 · 15 hr. ago He probably still didn't hear her. Might be bothurt for a while and then go back to using her stuff without asking. And if she brings it up, he brings up her embarrassing him. Coz he still doesn't get it.
    via u/solo_throwaway254247
  • 22
    • aeroeagleAC 16 hr. ago NTA, especially the debit card thing. Permission should be always required before taking people's property.
    via u/aeroeagleAC
  • 23
    Joyfuljag 15 hr. ago Taking a debit card and using it without permission is literally stealing.
    via u/Joyfuljag
  • 24
    Federal-Ferret-970 15 hr. ago Change the pin on your debit card. Stop allowing it by doing nothing to protect yourself. Don't marry until you guys have seen a financial counsellor and maybe a couples counsellor as this happening. will just keep
    via u/Federal-Ferret-970
  • 25
    • ConsitutionalHistory 16 hr. ago Yes...you said something before but it's obvious he wasn't listening or had selective memory. You embarrassing him in front of his friends...guess what, he's NOW heard you. NTA...
    via u/ConsitutionalHistory

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