‘Grow up': 15-year-old professional photographer gets pressured by her grandma to shoot her uncle's wedding for free, she refuses then gets slandered in front of the whole family

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Photography is just pushing a button, right? WRONG. Being a professional photographer means brandishing complicated and expensive equipment knowledgeably, managing lighting, ISO levels, composition, and a whole slew of entangling factors to capture a beautifully candid moment. And that's not even putting into consideration the time that goes into post-production… 

Put simply, it's not easy to be a good photographer. 

But for some reason, people with no knowledge of the photography world love to lend their opinions of the value of this challenging art form, claiming it's just 'pushing a button' and standing in the middle of the action. Okay then, Grandma, why don't you give it a whirl and see how the photos turn out? 

One girl recently went head to head with her own granny when she had to defend her craft. Although she was only 15 years old, u/harryshousee had already been professionally shooting weddings under her sole proprietorship, paying taxes, managing clients, and taking pride in her work for two years. However, when it came time for her uncle's wedding (which she had agreed to do at a discount as their wedding gift), things took a turn. Her grandma seemed to think that any untrained monkey could hold a camera at a wedding and capture perfectly the love and intricacies of a complicated event and decidedly slandered her own granddaughter for having the audacity to ask for a measly $300 to pay for her time and efforts. 

Keep scrolling to read the family drama that unfolded when this naive grandma feverishly slung mud at her own granddaughter, slandering her in front of the whole family for refusing to do her job for free.

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  • 01
    "Really? All she does is press a button and she can't do that for her own family?"
    via canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 10 hr. ago harryshousee AITA for refusing to shoot a wedding for free? I (15F) have been running a photography business since late 2022. I have shot several
    via harryscousee
  • 03
    weddings and built a really good client base, and do consider myself a professional. I have a website, pricing breakdown, and pay taxes on everything. I also purchase all my equipment.
    via harryscousee
  • 04
    Recently, my Uncle (38M) got engaged to his fiancée (38F.) I was very happy for them, as they are a lovely couple, and since they started dating about 2 years back i've been awaiting this! My grandma (63F) was also very
    via harryscousee
  • 05
    excited. Wedding planning has begun. This is always an exciting time. I knew they were planning to ask me to shoot their wedding, and I had planned to, as their wedding gift, do it for half off. This would've saved them $300.
    via harryscousee
  • 06
    My weddings are very cheap, at $600. I shoot and edit very well and have been magazined published. I am, by no means, a hobby photographer. Nor am I what people picture when they hear teenage photographer.
    via harryscousee
  • 07
    Then, during a family event, in front of everyone, my grandma said something along the lines of, "well at least you won't be paying a photographer!" everyone laughed, and then all eyes fell on me. I just stared confusedly, and
    via harryscousee
  • 08
    my grandma goes "well, you wouldn't charge family right?" to which my mom answered for me, "no!" my uncle and his fiancée both looked very uncomfortable, and they had no idea this was going to happen. I didn't want to
    via harryscousee
  • 09
    cause any problems, so I just said "I love shooting weddings, so we'll have to talk about y'all's, uncles fiancée." My grandma threw out another comment, towards my mom. "Really? She has to be like that? All she does is
    via harryscousee
  • 10
    press a button and she can't do that for her own family?" I was really annoyed at that, and said that it's a lot of work. She then said “If you're professional. You need to quit acting like you know what it's like to run a business.
    via harryscousee
  • 11
    You can come take a few little pictures for them." I was in tears, and chose to just not say anything. Flash forward to when the time comes to discuss the wedding. My grandma happened to walk in as I discussed pricing
    via harryscousee
  • 12
    and such with them. She threw a fit. To make a long story short, she said that they will not be paying me, and that if they had wanted to pay someone, they would hire a "grown-up." I informed them that if I wasn't
    via harryscousee
  • 13
    was not being paid, I sure as shooting that wedding, and said i'd love to be a guest. My grandma threw a fit and spread this horrible story about how I said i hated them and wished they weren't engaged to the whole family. my mom is asking me to reconsider. AITAH?
    via harryscousee
  • 14
    Dry_Sandwich_860 10h ago Well, anyone who thinks it's easy to "press a button" can obviously do the job instead! This is how you make money. It's your job. DO NOT start doing it for free or you'll be dealing with this kind of situation constantly.
    via Dry_Sandwich_860
  • 15
    People don't expect to walk out of the supermarket without paying. Yet it's so common that they exploit creative workers. Your grandmother's comments were . She has no right to expect you to work for free.
    via Dry_Sandwich_860
  • 16
    If your relatives want to hire someone older and more experienced, then they can do that. If they want to hire you, they will have to pay. Stand your ground.
    via Dry_Sandwich_860
  • 17
    If anyone mentions your grandmother's comments, I would say something like, "yes, I'm a little concerned about her. That's not what happened. She would like me to work for free, but like everyone else, I can't do that. I wished them luck with finding the kind of service they need."
    via Dry_Sandwich_860
  • 18
    Keep it brief and clear and then end the discussion by saying "that's the situation" and/or leaving the room or not replying to the text. Discussing this further will give people the idea that it's up for negotiation.
    via Dry_Sandwich_860
  • 19
    Janine_18 10h ago NTA It's not just pressing a button and the photo will be ready. This is work. And it must be paid.
    via Janine_18
  • 20
    Vocem_Interiorem • 8h ago Walking around and press a button; Free Using work equipment, set up and portraits: $600,- Editing and submitting an album style wedding photo collection: $1200,-
    via Vocem_Interiorem
  • 21
    Mickey... 9h ago Edited 9h ago NTA stand your ground!! - 1/2 price for family is very fair and if they do not want to pay that then attend as a guest and do not take ANY photos.
    via Mickey
  • 22
    This is from a husband/wife that have done wedding photography as a gift for several family members and we are not professionals and it IS a lot of time, effort and WORK !! It is none of Grandma's business. Talk to bride & groom directly.
    via Mickey
  • 23
    Bertie-... 8h ago Edited 5h ago NTA. My wife and I are wedding photographers and it is hard work. It is super impressive you're nailing it at such a young age, and it that people look down on your ability and professionalism just because you're young.
    via Bertie
  • 24
    Y1bird4 10h ago NTA. If it's just clicking a few buttons, grandma can take the pictures.
    via Y1bird4
  • 25
    WookieConditioner • 8h ago NTA, and you should refuse to shoot the wedding. You are being bullied, and it was probably all arranged or spoken about behind your back. Clearly your gran loves money way more than she likes you.
    via WookieConditioner
  • 26
    So, consider this, you know how much effort, on your feet, cat herding a shoot takes. You might need a second shooter, and they will need to be paid. You know how expensive your equipment, lighting and backdrops are.
    via WookieConditioner
  • 27
    You also know how long it takes to edit all the photos. Do you really want to go through all of that for no payment, and then have to re-edit and resend the photos you did take because someone is not happy? for free?
    via WookieConditioner
  • 28
    Either be a guest or book an engagement shoot for that day, low stress and make bank. Oh and btw, your gran is evil, stay the away from her.
    via WookieConditioner

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granny aita bride photography boomer groom drama grandma granddaughter bridal fashion wedding story family daughter weddings bridal photographer
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