Aunt paints unrequited, tacky, and huge portrait of her nephew's marriage proposal dinner, asks that he pays $1900 for it: 'Her original asking price was $2.5K'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Nobody wants to be guilted into buying something expensive, ugly, and huge. It can be kind of awkward to walk around art fairs without intending to buy anything for this reason: you might see some cool paintings, but some of them are $5K and are so ugly they shouldn't be hung anywhere. Luckily, most artists are not trying to sell their paintings like used car salesmen. Unfortunately, Susanne is not an artist.

A mom took to Reddit to share her concerns with her sister-in-law. She is a painter, and not a great one at that, and her husband (our narrator's husband's brother) is supporting her artistic career. Instead of selling her work to the public who wants it, she paints oddly specific paintings of her family members and tries to get them to buy them from her. She doesn't gift them, she asks them to pay for a present they didn't want in the first place.

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  • 01
    EQ MATN
    via bruce mars

    Photo does not feature the real subjects in the story

  • 02
    WIBTA if I refuse to buy a tacky painting my SIL made for my family?
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 03
    I'm 52F and this situation concerns my husband's brother "Drew" (59M) and his wife of 5 years "Susanne" (35F). Drew supports Susanne on his income while she focuses on her dream of being an artist. She makes paintings of people and animals, and has a website where she advertises her work for sale.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 04
    Privately, I don't think her art is very good. It's absolutely better than what I could do, but it doesn't look "professional," if you know what I mean. My husband feels the same, so we have not opted to purchase any of her art, despite her dropping hints here and there about it.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 05
    The art on her site is priced in the $3-5K range. I realize that labor and cost of materials must be taken into account, but given the quality, those prices seem outrageous to me. I suspect she's not making regular sales, because she started making portraits of friends, family, or pets "as a surprise," and usually, said family and friends end up feeling obligated to buy the painting as a courtesy. Unfortunately, my husband and I were the latest victims of this sales tactic.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 06
    My son recently proposed to his girlfriend, and we took the two of them, his girlfriend's parents, and our daughter out to a fancy dinner to celebrate. Both my kids posted pictures from dinner on social media. Without telling anyone, Susanne decided to make a painting of one of these pictures, of everyone smiling for the camera. She revealed the big "surprise" at a party she and Drew hosted two weeks ago. The painting is a whopping 40x58", and I honestly think it's awful... kitsch and tacky.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 07
    I told Susanne it was sweet of her to commemorate such a special moment in our family, but I carefully avoided saying anything about "liking" it. As I feared, she kept dropping hints throughout the party about how we can buy it as a wedding gift, and she would be happy to give us a big discount off what she would charge someone else. (Who else would buy it?) I politely dodged these hints, and she was clearly disappointed.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 08
    Over the weekend, Drew reached out to my husband to say that Susanne feels hurt that we never made an offer. He said it's becoming obvious as the years go by that we've never purchased one of her pieces, even though we have the means to do so, and it would mean a lot to them if we buy the painting. Her original asking price was $2.5K, and Drew said he'll reduce it further to $1900.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 09
    It's not about the money (not entirely.) It's the principle of the thing. I feel like I'm being strongarmed into paying for something I never asked for, don't like, and don't have space for in my house. I asked, and my son and his fiancée don't want it. My husband thinks we should just buy it to keep the peace in the family and avoid a potential rift with Susanne and Drew. He also says the way I talk makes me sound like a snob (even though I would never share these opinions with anyone I know bu
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 10
    Apart-Scene-9059 - 21 hr. ago NTA: I will simply ask her why won't she gift it to the happy couple and follow up asking did she only make the painting so that she can make money and not for her nephew and his new fiancée. You're definitely not wrong but I'm petty and would make sure to turn this around on her
    via u/Apart-Scene-9059
  • 11
    tacky-art-help OP. 21 hr. ago Thank you for your judgement, I think this is a great idea. Though, I know Susanne's underlying issue is that she thinks we don't like her art (which is true), and I'm afraid she'll keep pushing until she either makes the sale or I give a firm no.
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 12
    Humble_Plantain_5918 20 hr. ago I mean, it's bad business to create something on prospect when it's that personal and specific to such a small group of people. If she was going to try to sell it she should have approached the prospective buyers, i.e., the people who went to that event, whether they'd be interested in commissioning it. She can't be mad that there's no interest in buying an unsolicited product.
    via u/Humble_Plantain_5918
  • 13
    ConsequenceNovel101. She wouldn't be able to sell it to anyone if she didn't get permission from person who took the photo as well as model releases signed from the people she painted. You can't just take a copyrighted photograph, use it as your subject and then try to make money off it. You can certainly get away with a lot but the minute you try to profit off it and sell your work, it gets very very very specific.
    via u/ConsequenceNovel101
  • 14
    Humble Plantain_5918. 19 hr. ago There's a lot of wiggle room there, actually. She wouldn't be able to sell that exact photograph if she didn't take it, but her artistic interpretation of it is her own intellectual property. There would probably be an issue if DIL is a competent photorealist...but that doesn't seem likely in this case.
    via u/Humble Plantain_5918
  • 15
    RuhWalde 19 hr. ago It's also a super weird moment to commemorate in a painting this way. A restaurant dinner with the couple, their four parents, and one sister, all smiling at the camera? Who would want a huge painting of that, even if they loved the artist's work?
    via u/RuhWalde
  • 16
    She would have done much better to use a cute picture of the engaged couple with nice scenery. That would probably be much more appealing to the couple even if the art is a touch mediocre.
    via u/RuhWalde
  • 17
    Sea-Channel5412. 19 hr. ago I'm in the firm "no" camp. It's time to politely let them know that you admire her dedication to her craft, but you buy things that fit your interests and aesthetics. I'd say that exactly once and after that I'd just say no thanks/not interested. Your husband might also let his brother know that you do not like her work, so he can act as a buffer, rather than a go between.
    via u/Sea-Channel5412
  • 18
    And, if the opportunity ever arises, my children's school used to have raffles or silent auctions to raise money for activities- maybe buy a small item- if you can truly afford it and wouldn't mind supporting her- and donate it. But, I would never, ever buy a "surprise" painting of you or your family. That is just reinforcing bad behavior.
    via u/Sea-Channel5412
  • 19
    meadow_chef 19 hr. ago No one's art is for everyone. We all prefer various styles and media. Regardless of her (lack of) talent, she should understand that she wasn't asked to paint it and it's incredibly tacky to do so and expect to make money for it. She likely needs a business coach to help her price her work more realistically in addition to a reality check.
    via u/meadow_chef
  • 20
    NTA - DO NOT CAVE IN AND BUY IT!! Edit to add - is anyone else thinking of the painting Amy had done for Penny on The Big Bang Theory?
    via u/meadow_chef
  • 21
    Inkby-t 19 hr. ago Honestly she knows what she's doing, I'd be that's more manipulation than a sales tactic. I'm an artist myself and it's absolutely crazyyy to spend hours and hours on a surprise painting just for the slight chance people would fall for my trick and toss me a grand. That time could very well be spent doing gallery shows and local fairs where she could actually get her work out there instead of tormenting family lol.
    via u/Inkby-t
  • 22
    buttercupgrump • 20 hr. ago ΝΤΑ My husband thinks we should just buy it to keep the peace in the family Absolutely not! Do you know what will happen next? She'll do a painting of the wedding or any potential pregnancy announcements or any other milestones. Susanne will not stop. After all, you were willing to buy one painting. Why not buy another? Then another and another and another.
    via u/buttercupgrump
  • 23
    tacky-art-help OP. 20 hr. ago Oh dear... truly my worst nightmare!
    via u/tacky-art-help
  • 24
    buttercupgrump. 20 hr. ago It'll get even worse. Not only will she expect you to buy more paintings, but she'll throw another fit if every single one is not displayed prominently around your home. Stop the nightmare before it begins.
    via u/buttercupgrump
  • 25
    SophiaBrahe 20 hr. ago Make sure to explain this future to your husband. Ask him how many gadgets or toys it vacations (or whatever his favorite things are), he's willing to give up to keep the peace.
    via u/SophiaBrahe

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nephews family drama marriage proposal proposal portraits sister in law aunt in laws portrait family paintings painting family portrait mom nephew son
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