Woman is Jealous of Her Ex and His Wife’s Happiness as Parents, She Tries to Sabotage Their Relationship

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. It's never easy to go through a breakup. Feelings get hurt in (sometimes) irreparable ways, it may take someone months or even years to get over the heartbreak. There are a lot of ways to add insult to injury, and it's not uncommon that there are lingering feelings of animosity when you do part ways. It's easy to see all the bad qualities immediately after the relationship ends. You forget the good stuff, because the pain speaks louder than anything at this point. You convince yourself he's scum, that no one will ever love him, that he's destined to be single and hopeless forever. 

Despite our desire to feel justified in how upset we feel, and validated for ending the relationship, it's not always true that the situation is so black and white. Sometimes you're just not right for each other, sometimes it's the wrong timing. No matter which it is, it can be extremely painful to see that your ex is not only happy with someone else, but a different and better man. 

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  • 01
    TWO HOT TAKE r/TwoHotTakes • 3 days Thin-Acanthaceae-252 My husbands ex thought he'd be a deadbeat dad and seems upset that he's not
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 02
    (Throwaway because I have identifying info on my main) I (f27) married my husband (m29) about a year ago but we've been together for around 4 years and he has a 4 year old from a past marriage. Sorry for the upcoming length but I think all the context is important.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 03
    Here's where we already get a little messy, both my husband and his ex admit that they got married too young and for the wrong reasons, and that emotionally it ended before they officially said it. She also cheated on him, with different partners, for a large part of their marriage. All around just not the right
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 04
    people for each other, which happens. She got pregnant after they had already started to think about ending things, and to make a long story short, he and his family and frankly myself, are convinced that she got pregnant entirely on purpose. Like the cliched poke a hole in the condom and initiate while
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 05
    actively tracking her period (don't know how it went down). While she was pregnant, she said she wanted a divorce.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 06
    Fast forward, she had the baby, he tried to stay and make it work for their son, but in the end they got a divorce, and he and I got together. I did not know him when they were married, to be clear. I love him and his son so deeply and he and I have had very open conversations on my role as a stepmom. He fought for
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 07
    her to accept a 50/50 custody schedule (scheduling is up to them, not a judge) after he and I moved in together after only having him for weekends and paying crazy high child support, and still giving her money anytime she said she needed it for their son. I am able to do daycare pickup and drop off
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 08
    while his work schedule didn't allow for that, which is why he only did weekends.
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  • 09
    So now we have him 50% of the time, he still pays the child support but does not send her money, and she and I communicate a lot as I took on a relatively traditional mother role. The biological parents still handle all major decision but my husband regularly consults with
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 10
    me on them, especially because I have higher education in child development. But every decision and milestone starts a fight between them.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 11
    She was mad when i gave him a haircut during his time. with us. Nothing drastic, just a trim because it was in his eyes. And it wasn't his first.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 12
    . • She was upset when we took him to an event on our time because she wanted to take him (but we had no idea, and it was during our regularly scheduled time)
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 13
    . • She got mad when my husband got him his first bike because 'she should have been able to do that with him' like my husband isn't allowed to have core memories with his own son as well.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 14
    There are honestly more, even her getting mad when he called their sons doctor to just ask a general question. And she gets upset when she finds out about me doing anything motherly.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 15
    A recent fight between them was when he asked to lower child support (not even get rid of it, because he and I are both in well paying jobs and agreed we could afford helping her) since we have equally split custody. She lost it, and said she is the primary parent and deserves the support. Unkind words were shared and nothing was really resolved.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 16
    This is such a common trend in our coparenting and when venting to my best friends, she suggested that his ex thought he'd be a deadbeat and she got pregnant to guarantee being a mom and get financial support from him, but didn't expect to have to coparent or 'share' because she thought he'd be a deadbeat (he's very far from it).
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 17
    It made so much sense when she said it out loud! We both do our best (husband and I) to be supportive and help alleviate the strain of being a single parent, even though his ex does have a partner but that's a whole other story. Things like always making. sure his ex knows we can be flexible with work to help with
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 18
    childcare needs no matter who's time it is, we are very flexible with holidays, and are always willing to off the schedule for special events, we'll send photos when go he's with us and always do FaceTimes if he's missing his mom, but he has stopped asking lately. If anyone has advice on how to navigate this coparenting
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 19
    relationship so our son can grow up with as little trauma from split households as possible, I'd greatly appreciate it.
    via u/Thin-Acanthaceae-252
  • 20
    GnomesinBlankets • 3d ago You guys need to go to court. This set up doesn't even make sense. It's 50/50 but she's primary parent AND receiving support? You guys sound like you're on the crappy end of the stick there. You can't argue with crazy and illogical, but a judge can!
    via u/GnomesinBlankets
  • 21
    • Lo... 3d ago Edited 3d ago I think if you all truly want to put this child first, your husband (not you whilst things are contentious) needs to be the communicator the majority of the time.
    via u/Lo
  • 22
    It would probably produce better outcomes if you as a couple strived to reach a point where you communicate things like haircuts and what you will be getting up to beforehand, instead of sending picture afterwards because this dynamic you've
    via u/Lo
  • 23
    got right here will spiral into competition at the detriment of the kid. You don't need to ask her permission, just a basic polite rundown of what can be expected, and she should do the same.
    via u/Lo
  • 24
    As for child support get a legal consultation first, the amount isn't always based on custody split but also on ensuring quality upbringing across households.
    via u/Lo
  • 25
    Sp... 3d ago • Edited 3d ago So they got divorced AFTER the kid was born. Kid is now 4 but you've been together 5 years? The math ain't mathing... Reading comprehension is a powerful tool.
    via u/Sp

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