Husband Acts Panicked When He Sees His Female Co-worker While Out With His Wife, Sparking Suspicions About A Possible Affair: ‘I can't shake it off’

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  • 01
    Am I (F32) overreacting on how my husband (32M) reacted to our neighbour who is also his co-worker?
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  • 02
    So, I (32F) have known that my husband's co-worker (female and unknown age but I would say between 25-35) is out sort of new in the neighbourhood.
  • 03
    We live in a building complex (4 buildings in the community that are right next to each other - we share a common court yard). We have been living here for 10 years and we have 2 children ( 5 and 9 years old).
  • 04
    I remember my husband told me: "Oh funny I was talking to a sort of new co-worker at work (work event) and she told me she lived in X and I was like - wow me too - what? crazy " they talked about some of our crazy neighbours,
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  • 05
    etc. I was like "ah cool" - I kinda joked with him "is she pretty?" and he was like "no way, not at all babe" and I was like ah okay. Honestly I'm not a jealous person at all, but I do like to have my fact straight.
  • 06
    They have run into each other a few times I believe while getting out of the building and so. I don't know how she looks like, so if we have ran into each other I have no clue.
  • 07
    I know also they have talked more in their summer party event (in June) about things in our - building complex and just joked around and hang out shortly apparently. I gathered this from the things my husband had mentioned here and there. All of this didn't bothered me at all.
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  • 08
    Husband does 70% of home office and barely goes to the office. I travel from time to time, so does he.
  • 09
    HOWEVER. This evening we were both in the court yard checking some stuff out. Husband was helping me repair something. Suddenly, I saw him looking over my shoulder and he had sort of a weird look in his face, it was a bit panicked, but also uncomfortable
  • 10
    and awkward. I can't quite describe it. I looked back and saw a woman walking toward us (to the building behind us). She was gorgeous. I'm an attractive woman and take really good care of myself, and would like to say I don't feel insecure often. But, yea
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  • 11
    she was pretty. She also looked uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact. They kinda had a second eye contact and both were like "hi" very dry and she continue walking by and my husband sort of looked everywhere but the situation/her. The whole thing was honestly weird. It gave me a weird feeling.
  • 12
    If they have been friendly before at the office and in the courtyard, why would they avoid eye contact, be super awkward, and just a weird freaking mood? I would expect a friendlier greeting, and maybe an introduction? That has been the case in the past.
  • 13
    The co-worker/neighbour apparently has a boyfriend. Can't confirm since I haven't payed attention to anything regarding her before. I don't know what to think of this. Maybe I'm just overreacting. But I can't shake it off.
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  • 14
    I asked my husband: Whats her name again? and he was like "hmmmm, don't know cant remember" and I was like "hmmm okay?" and then he was like "ahhh I think X"
  • 15
    I kinda hinted "oh she is pretty eh?" and he was like "no not at all" but honestly she is, there is not denying it. He sort of got annoyed by my questioning and said "nothing was weird, and that they dont know each other well and that she is usually distant" I dont know. What should I do?
  • 16
    DrCraniac2023 • 19h ago He said he couldn't remember his coworkers name? He's got red flags. flying all over the place. I'd be suspicious for sure.
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  • 17
    Business-Box-253 • 15h ago The deleted comment from OP was so so long about the husband's past emotional affairs. He has done this exact same thing with two coworkers that she knows about. She found messages between coworkers that were flat out flirting after he had told her that they were smelly or he really hated one because of xyz. And guess who was flirting?!?!
  • 18
    My follow up question about whether she investigated if it was more than flirting made her delete her post so fast. She did assure me this man is a total 180 from then. That's a quote folks. Based off of other comments from OP about not being jealous and having total trust in husband. I can only assume she's been gaslit beyond belief to not even question this man. That she's so scared to rock her own boat because of this pos. She's ultimately already convinced herself it's nothing so she can rug
  • 19
    HeatherReadsRe... . 19h ago Trust your gut. If there were nothing going on between them, they would've at least had a friendly hello with eye contact as she kept walking, if she couldn't stop to talk. He should've called her over to introduce you, since you hadn't met before.
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  • 20
    The fact that he's telling you that it's all in your head is a red flag. Ask him why he didn't introduce y'all. Start noticing when he talks about her or meets with her. I hope that I'm wrong in thinking that he's cheating on you with her. I wish you well.
  • 21
    pickensgirl 19h ago . Pay attention to your instincts. If it felt weird then that's...weird. If they are just friendly co-workers and neighbors there shouldn't be a bad vibe.
  • 22
    gl... 18h ago Edited 9h ago • . As one of my friends once said to me, it's not where he looks it's where he doesn't look. That he was actively avoiding eye contact and pretended to not know her name is very telling
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  • 23
    YouAccording38... . 18h ago I don't understand why he didn't introduce you to his co-worker. Why didn't you ask? I would insist on that. And I would make it very clear that I didn't like the very strange energy that happened between them. He already lied about her
  • 24
    appearance. Make it clear that communication between them outside of work will be considered something more and you will not tolerate it. Damned if he finds it controlling, he opened that door.

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