Bitter wife chews husband out for letting ex-wife inside their home while picking up her kid: 'She said I wouldn't understand'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 6, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Co-parenting ain't easy. You're no longer a couple, but you still have a very big thing in common. Whether you like it or not, you have to find a way to work together. At the very least, you have to coordinate pick-ups and drop-offs. Because if they're little, you can't really ask them to hop on the city bus every other weekend to go to their dad's house. But even the slightest contact can cause drama. Splitting up is an emotional thing, and raising kids on its own is an arduous task, so combine the two and it's a recipe for conflict. 

In this case, though, it wasn't even the parents themselves who started the drama, but one of their new spouses. But the question remains, was her reaction justified, or was it a classic symptom of being jealous of your partner's ex? Read on for the story and decide for yourself.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10385115648
    via Daniel Thomas
  • 02
    AITA for allowing my ex- wife into my home?
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 03
    Early yesterday evening my ex- wife came to pick up our son from my home. At the time my wife and I had a few visitors over for dinner. The visitors included her sister and husband, but was mostly friends.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 04
    Usually my ex phones our son when she's downstairs (we live in an apartment building) and he goes down to meet her. Yesterday she called our son as usual, but asked him to ask me if she could come up because one of her younger kids needed to use the bathroom.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 05
    I obviously said yes. She came up with her 3 younger kids. She didn't know we had company, so apologized for interrupting, before taking the kids to the bathroom. On her way out a couple of the guests stopped her for a quick chat (friends I've had since she and I were married) but it was only a few minutes. My son gave his little siblings some of the snacks that were out for guests.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 06
    for After they left my wife's sister was quick to call my ex barging in. One of my friends replied to her saying something about small kids bladders and nothing more was said about it.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 07
    However, after everyone but my wife's sister had left, my wife and her sister started talking about it and both agreed that it was and tacky. They couldn't believed she started talking to some of our friends. When I objected they said it was wrong of me to have let her in without asking my wife first, I said that's ridiculous.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 08
    Later, my wife and I discussed it again and she said she found it embarrassing for me to just let her in like that. I asked why, but she said I wouldn't understand.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 09
    Am I really the here? I was trying to do a normal nice thing but now I feel bad about upsetting my wife.
    via u/Away_Description_752
  • 10
    Substantial-Soft-326. 21 hr. ago NTA What you did was kind. I think I could be completely off base, but sounds like you all have an amicable co-parenting relationship. That midn boggles people a lot. They expect separated/divorced parents to hate each others guts and never want to be in the same area together.
    via u/Substantial-Soft-326
  • 11
    Your friends knew your ex-wife and probably were friendly with them. They CHOSE to talk to her. What did your wife and sister expect them to do? Just ignore them? Your friends can chat with who they want.
    via u/Substantial-Soft-326
  • 12
    I think the next best course of action is to have a sit down with your wife about what she is feeling. Where is this stemming from? Does she feel insecure? Has your ex actually done something that upset her? If something has legit been done, then a discussion needs to be had, but if your wife is just insecure, then that's on her. Your ex will always be apart of your lives regardless of your wife's feelings because a child is involved.
    via u/Substantial-Soft-326
  • 13
    • Inappropriate Access 21 hr. ago NTA. The kid had to pee; you let them in. Your ex knew several of the people there; they initiated a conversation with her. Your son gave his sibs a snack; what a sweet kid!
    via u/InappropriateAccess
  • 14
    Your current wife and her sister are being ridiculous. And this is from a woman who also married a man with kids from a prior marriage, so I know about living with co-parenting. There is NOTHING in what you described that was anything but kind, normal interactions.
    via u/InappropriateAccess
  • 15
    Acrobatic-Ad-3335 21 hr. ago • NTA. What kind of lesson would you be teaching your son if you refused to let the younger child in to use the bathroom? Your wife needs to rethink her values.
    via u/Acrobatic-Ad-3335
  • 16
    Mission_Emu3690 21 hr. ago NTA, that's how co- parenting should be done. Your son needs to know his mother is welcome in his home, especially when one of his siblings needs to use the toilet.
    via u/Mission_Emu3690
  • 17
    Your wife needs to chill. My father's partner did not want to see my mother either and pretty much ignored her if they did. When I became an adult, I gave her an ultimatum: either she stopped being to my mother, or she no longer had a place in my life. I do, however, resent the fact that my father did not talk to her about it when I was little. So, if you don't want any resentment from you kid; don't let your wife be a your ex-wife. to or about
    via u/Mission_Emu3690
  • 18
    arbitraryorange · 21 hr. ago Nta. Denying a small child. the use of a bathroom would have been an move.
    via u/arbitraryorange
  • 19
    karmue 21 hr. ago NTA. And the classic "you wouldn't understand" is a massive red flag.
    via u/karmue
  • 20
    cascadia1979 - 21 hr. ago NTA. There's nothing inherently wrong with treating your ex in a friendly and fair way. If it had been a relative or a babysitter who made the same request you'd likely have granted it. It's good to be on good terms with your ex and you're showing your kids that their parents get along and treat each other with respect, which is crucial for them to see. Your wife and her sister are wrong to criticize you for how you handled this.
    via u/cascadia1979
  • 21
    Ohionina 21 hr. ago • Your SIL is stirring the pot.
    via u/Ohionina

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

co-parenting family drama healthy marriage marriage jealous step parent coparent stepmom wife husbands marriage-drama parenting husband ex wife marriage advice family reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article