29 Damp Memes to Splash Around With

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  • 01
    DO NOT WALK ON ROCKS If you do, and file suit claiming injury, this sign will be marked "Exhibit A".
  • 02
    No drinks back here unless they have a screw on top. Thank Management W DOWNR OU TOP
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 03
    Doctors will be like "Go and buy this" anthony @xforcades2 and the pharmacist will give it to you
  • 04
    This tape doesn't even taste like scotch.
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 05
    If you see someone DROWNING lol CALL 911
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 06
    Leash Your Dog People Are Eating Children In This Area Thank You Clean Up After Them
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 07
    Brosephine Wires @JoParkerBear God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes God super mad.
    via @JoParkerBear
  • 08
    No WALKING IN THE CRY-IN -BARTENDERS KYSAR AN
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 09
    ◄ Messages Today 11:57 AM It's your Uber. I'm here Is that you in the middle of the street? Details Yeah Floor it Delivered
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 10
    Douglas Cheape @CheapeDouglas You're in luck, I HAVE brought urine. hope you brought wine THRESHOLD DOORMAT
  • 11
    My Al ME 4:28 PM Do you have access to my location MY AI 4:28 PM No, I don't have access to your location. ME 4:28 PM Where am I MY AI 4:28 PM I'm sorry, but I don't have access to your location information. ME 4:28 PM Okay are you lying? MY AI 4:28 PM No, I'm not lying. I don't have access to your location information. ME 4.28 PM Where's the closest McDonald's MY AI 4:28 PM Yes! There's a McDonald's very close to you. It's located right on Young St in Tonawanda.
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 12
    leck @perfectcows 6th graders assignment today was to make a self introduction worksheet that had to include your birthday and things you like. Imagine my surprise when I'm handed this & $3 September 11th * & 11:46 15 May 23 - 2.1M Views 8,719 Retweets 366 Quotes 96.8K Likes
  • 13
    "It's okay to put the movie theater butter on your hotdog, they can't stop you." expert says MD IMDb. 1d
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 14
    HE IS RISEN 00000 TOLEDO GRACE BRETHREN CHURCH
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 15
    NOW YOU CAN'T UNSEE IT HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP HEINZ YELLOW MUSTARD NATURAL ATH TEARY L COME TOGETHER HEINZ KETCHUP & MUSTARD IT HAS TO BE HEINZ DEADPOOL &WOLVERINE IN THEATERS JULY 26
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 16
    Might start booing people during conversations I'm not interested in.
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 17
    NE ARE WATCHING YOU! THE NEXT TIME SIT HERE TO WEED, YOU BY THE POLICET BE GREETED WE aRe WaTCHINg You! tHe Next Time You sit Here to SMOKE WEED, You Will bE ReEtEd by ThE pollcE!
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 18
    Just Call Me Frank™Ⓒ @JustCallMeFrank Who knew the apocalypse was going to be so slow and expensive.
  • 19
    just once i'd like to spiral upwards
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 20
    Billy Mays III Verified @infinitethird 0 lol just got to pittsburgh and someone left oxiclean at my dad's grave BELOVED HUSBAND FATHER AND SON BILLY MAYS OXI CLEAN 1958 - 2009 "PITCHMAN" IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY, AND MEMORIES A LANE, PD WALK RIGHT UP TO HEAYER BRING YOU HOME
  • 21
    My belly is out It's ready for stroking I will not attack But maybe I'm joking
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 22
    pikabu.ru
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 23
    *puts on hearing glasses* LARGE PRINT AUDIO BOOKS L CLIVE CUSSLENS MICHAEL CONNELLY TREES CHARLAN COBEN KENEN CLEVELAND THE NEW NEIGHBOR 1103 Feve CHILD DHE SENTINEL Bittersweet dare to lead dare to lead dare to lead THE PRE SUE PAPERS 10 TINA BROWN Hyne Brown ATLAS HEART Brene Brown ATLAS HEART Beene Brown ATLAS OF THE HEART HEAN BABY SELMA BLAIR THE VANISHING IT BENNETT PAT BARKER THE WOMEN GA TEOY DAVID BALDACCI DAVID BALDACCI DAVID BALDACCI END GAME PRESTON & CHILD STEVEN FINKER Real-E THE P
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 24
    "Would 14-year old you be proud of you?" Listen, I'm not here to impress a mentally ill child.
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 25
    When a piece of seaweed touches your leg
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 26
    PURE GRANULATED SUGAR 502 EXTRA FIL SUGAR FREE FREE Publix PURE GRANULATED SUGAR SUGAR FREE NET Soooo... What's in the bag?
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 27
    me: is there a spirit in my house ouija board: *slides to yes* me: great your portion of the rent is 650 it's due the first of the month
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 28
    The only part of the Olympics I can truly relate to is the Canadian swimmer who didn't realize she won gold because she wasn't wearing her glasses in the pool KYO 2020 299
    via BottomShelfVodka
  • 29
    Spotted this chair today at Goodwill for 5 bucks. Looks like something right out of The Simpsons Qadi❤ @BigQadi this is the thinking chair you uncultured swine
    via @BigQadi

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