‘I should’ve never fallen into the trap’: Entitled boss revokes employee's WFH privileges because it's simply more convenient for her, sparks feud in a 1:1 meeting resulting in tears

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Aug 9, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

"They will watch you cry as they take away the only thing you have asked for at this job, and then leave early to go work from home that same day."

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  • Workplace discrimination comes in many shapes and sizes, but this one might take the cake. You've probably heard stories about employees getting fired directly after taking necessary maternity leave with management chalking it up to poor performance. You might have probably faced or know someone who has faced racial, age, or gender discrimination in the office as well. Usually when this happens, the discrimination at play is very black and white; this boss clearly did so-and-so to this employee, this is wrong, someone gets in trouble for it. This story does not fit into the normal categories of discrimination we see in so many stories online.

    The employee in this story is told by their boss that they can no longer work from home one day a week because she wants to have the ability to reach the employee whenever she needs to do so in the office. In this day and age, all employees are one video chat or Slack message away from one another. The employee makes a case for themselves, saying they cherish the weekly WFH day and foresee their mental health taking a hefty dip if it is revoked. Their boss does not seem to care, even when the employee is at the point of tears. The employee then compared themselves to another co-worker who worked from home that day, complaining that the company never even got so much as a heads up from them regarding staying home. The boss basically says people with seniority and families are given more empathy. Sounds pretty unequal to me. Read the rest of the story below, more context from the OP, and some additional stories from fellow employees-done-wrong in the comments.

  • 01
    In case anyone forgot, even your seemingly nice boss does not care about you
    via thathotmom24
  • 02
    Just another not being able to work from home rant. I've got a pretty good gig, so I'll acknowledge that privilege right up front, I have a desk job and my team is professional and I'm happy to work with them. But my manager is one of those micro-managers that pretends she doesn't. She means well and did take me on to teach me this position, but her version of this is to want me always in the
    via thathotmom24
  • 03
    office so she can turn around (in our open office) and talk to me whenever she feels like. I really liked her and we got along well, but I just had a meeting with her that shattered all the illusions she had created that she actually cared about me. I know I know, I should've never fallen into the trap that I was "one of the lucky ones" with a boss I thought got me.
    via thathotmom24
  • 04
    Cue the meeting we had this morning, where she told me I would no longer be able to wfh for the one day a week I had been for the last year. That day was precious to me, where I could be alone in the quiet and just do my work. There's only a few of us in the office, but there's a lot of constant talking for one reason or another. We went back and forth for a few minutes as I pushed back,
    via thathotmom24
  • 05
    telling her that my mental health would tank (I'm medicated for and anxiety) and my production would not increase. She was fine with this, telling me that mental health is important and that I can use my generous amount of sick time (I get about a week and a half each year) to take mental health days. I pointed out that there was currently a member
    via thathotmom24
  • 06
    of our team that was wfh today and hadn't told anyone. She regularly does this to stay home with her kids and whatever else she needs to do. Everyone is allowed to come and go without asking permission, except me. The answer was that If I had more seniority or kids, there's a chance I would be offered more freedom. But alas I cannot afford a house or children at this time, and have only worked here a year and a half.
    via thathotmom24
  • 07
    I was trying not to but I was starting to cry (I'm just a crier) while I was explaining that I have trouble focusing in the office and don't get any privacy since our desks are all close together. With no extra emotion she basically told me that was a bummer, and that I could go take a few minutes to get myself together since I was crying. And the rationale as to why I have to be full time now: so I have to be
    via thathotmom24
  • 08
    part of every conversation that happens within the office, that's it. Even if it doesn't involve me, I still have to be present. She also told me that wearing small headphones to listen to audiobooks while I work was inconvenient for the rest of the team, as they sometimes have to try and get my attention more than once to talk to me, which is only occasionally. The funny thing is that I just had my yearly performance review a week ago, and she said she was really happy with me and my work.
    via thathotmom24
  • 09
    So this at its core is me complaining in order to give everyone a PSA that the boss you think genuinely cares about you, doesn't. They will watch you cry as they take away the only thing you have asked for at this job, and then leave early to go work from home that same day.
    via thathotmom24
  • 10
    Brave Cabinet4344. 20 hr. ago Wait, what?? If you had kids you might be given that opportunity?? That is . I get so tired of the allowances given to people with children. That is discriminatory.
    via Brave_Cabinet4344
  • 11
    thathotmom24 OP. 20 hr. ago Yeah it me off. The irony wasn't lost on me that my working from home can only be once in awhile if it's really needed, and must be approved ahead of time, while my boss left early today to pick up her kid and wfh
    via thathotmom24
  • 12
    Short-While3325.19 hr. ago I love how managers frame it as some benevolent favor. People are generally more productive at home. They just want to micro- manage so their job seems more important than it actually is. It's all about control.
    via Short-While3325
  • 13
    thathotmom24 OP 19 hr. ago Exactly, it's a favor to me but just something that's accepted for the other 5 people in the office. "I don't want to micromanage" but then complains: you get distracted on your phone (everyone keeps and uses their phone at their desk), you only work the hours we agreed on together, and you have have to be present so everyone can talk to you in person exactly when they want to
    via thathotmom24
  • 14
    bottomlless 18 hr. ago Malicious compliance. Every time a conversation starts stop whatever you're working on and devote all of your attention to the conversation. A couple times an hour ask your boss "What's up? Anything new?" "Hey look! I don't even have my phone on my desk. It's down here in my bag/purse/case." Every once in a while stop working and ask if someone said something. Tell them you thought you heard your name. Let productivity suffer so that you can 'be present'.
    via bottomlless
  • 15
    • thedisposerofposers 18 hr. ago Some advice I got years ago is when it comes to work, you always have family. Keep your mouth shut about your personal life, be politely evasive when someone asks questions, and if that doesn't work then tell them you prefer to not mix work and family. Don't lie and claim you have children when you don't, but regardless you should always have family as far as your boss(es) and coworkers are concerned.
    via thedisposerofposers
  • 16
    Short-While3325.19 hr. ago It's surprisingly common in my experience, especially at smaller companies. I've known people to get raises or promotions after a major life event. Sick kid? Awww, that's okay. Take your laptop home and someone will cover for you and do work assigned to you in the office. Car getting repairs? I guess you can use your PTO but don't make this a regular thing. In the future, please let us know these things in advance
    via Short-While3325
  • 17
    greylifterOC 19 hr. ago Start searching for a new job that provides you a set number of WFH days and get it in writing as part of your employment offer or next contract. Things that are "discussed" are pretty much useless and have little permanence. Alternatively, look to see if there's opportunity to transfer to work for a different manager within your current company that may provide you more flexibility. Good luck to you.
    via greylifterOC
  • 18
    thathotmom24 OP. 19 hr. ago Thank you for the advice! I definitely will start looking. It's just such a shame because I wanted to get comfortable in this position for a while. And I know it's going to take some time to find something just as good or better benefits wise that has at least some allowance for remote work
    via thathotmom24
  • 19
    RaccoonObjective5674 18 hr. ago I hear this. I get along well with my boss and they will often talk about how valuable I am and they don't want me to leave. But then I watch them allow a toxic work environment to occur for another coworker that pushes them to quit. It's weird. Also, a week and a half is not a lot of PTO.
    via RaccoonObjective5674
  • 20
    Writerhaha 19 hr. ago • Can confirm. I care about you as a human being recognizing that if your life and everything is in order, work gets done better, but we're not besties. Our company literally has to pay us to be together.
    via Writerhaha
  • 21
    NoninflammatoryFun 18 hr. ago That's beyond ridiculous. And quite similar to my old situation and they fired me after. If they're making me sit there while they talk and won't let me have headphones, I'd look for a new job. Don't quit first unless you can survive without money, but that place is a SINKING SHIP.
    via NoninflammatoryFun
  • 22
    thathotmom24 OP 18 hr. ago • This is a very well known university, so in this case they will outlast me. I do think they need me at least for now, it took a year to get someone to fill this position. So I'm hoping to have time to look if they do decide they want to get rid of me. I do think this might also be coming from me doing a few things over the last year and a half that my boss didn't like. She
    via thathotmom24
  • 23
    caught on that i had signed off eatly from a meeting that doesn't apply to me at least once, and I used to scroll on my phone during meetings when we weren't talking about my parts. Both things I have since not done, but that combined with listening to audiobooks while working might've become too much for her
    via thathotmom24
  • 24
    adsteven 17 hr. ago • I'm wondering if your boss has pressure from higher up to whittle down the department? Or her boss has impression that you don't do good work and she doesn't know how to defend that? Especially that you said you had a very good performance review (in corporations you can have a great review but there's often a separate discussion with regards to performance, ik, it ).
    via adsteven

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work from home workplace-stories toxic-workplace work askreddit reddit story horrible-management PTO wfh workplace Horrible Bosses reddit thread red flag entitled people toxic-work-environment
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