Woman offers to "treat" best friend on her 30th birthday, ends up feeding her a single pita, withholding her birthday cake, and making her share a room with her adopted kids: 'No candles, no singing, no warmth'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 8, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Some people were simply never trained on how to be a good host. Of course, every culture has a different standard on what even constitutes as a good host. However, it seems like basic human decency to want to make sure that a guest is comfortable in your home. That is to say, you should make sure that they are, at the very least, not hungry or thirsty. This is even more important if you are hosting them on their birthday… after you specfically offered to do so.

Today, we examine a tale about someone who is perhaps one of the worst hosts in the world. She insists on "treating" a friend for her 30th birthday. Her friend, our protagonist, knows that she doesn't have a ton extra money to spend, but she is shut down every time she offers to pay for herself. Instead, she must endure hunger on the eve of her birthday and is made to share her room with two teenagers. 

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  • 01

    I (30F) am spending my birthday weekend with a friend who offered to "treat" me and it's been a NIGHTMARE

    Cheezburger Image 10539341056
    via Nzewi Confidence from Nzewi Confidence's Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    It's my 30th birthday and I somehow got roped into sleeping next to 2 teenagers I barely know because I was TOLD last minute by my flaky friend that we would be sharing a room. This has been a long nightmare.
    via u/BlueDimity
  • 03
    For years, my friend has invited me to spend my birthday at her cabin away from town. This year, I finally said yes and asked if the offer still stood. She
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  • 04
    said it did, and insisted that her gift to me would be cooking for me. I knew she was tight on money, so I told her she didn't need to get me anything
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  • 05
    and even offered to pay for all the groceries. She declined (before and during my stay) saying she wanted to "treat" me.
    via u/BlueDimity
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10539340032
    via Alena Ozerova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    I arrived the night before and everything seemed fine, until the next day (my birthday).
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  • 08
    That morning (yesterday) we rushed into town to grocery shop and skipped breakfast. I got my free birthday drink at Starbucks, and she
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  • 09
    bought me a protein bar. During the shopping trip, I again offered to pay (she declined). I even bagged the groceries and helped carry them in.
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  • 10
    When we got back to her cabin around lunchtime, she gave me a single pita with hummus. That was it.
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  • 11
    Meanwhile, she fed herself a full lunch from leftovers. She never asked if I wanted anything else.
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  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10539340288
    via mirsa from pixabay

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    I remained polite and even helped her devein shrimp for dinner and offered to clean up multiple times.
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  • 14
    Dinner wasn't until 7:30 p.m., and by then I was starving. Afterward, I politely asked if we'd be having cake
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  • 15
    soon. She said, "Not for another 35- 40 minutes. I'm still stuffed." I was surprised but kept it light and didn't say anything.
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  • 16
    We started watching a movie, and 35 minutes turned into 2 hours. I eventually joked, "Should we pause and have cake?" and she ignored me. She seemed off and I couldn't figure out why.
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  • 17
    Finally, after the movie ended, she got up and said, "Well, let's do cake. It's late, but better late than never," and
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  • 18
    then snapped at me when asking about what size of the slice I wanted. She gave me cake with no candles, no singing, no warmth. I felt humiliated and invisible.
    via u/BlueDimity

  • It really sounds like all of her previous offers to come to the cabin were all talk; she didn't really expect to be taken up on it. But she really could've just said no instead of making a friend feel so unloved on her birthday.

  • 19
    Later, while picking a second movie to watch, I gave suggestions and she dismissed all of them. I finally said,
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  • 20
    "We can watch whatever," and she immediately picked something she wanted to watch without asking me.
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  • 21
    Trying to salvage a sense of a peaceful atmosphere, I gently asked: "Have I been a good guest? I try to be a gracious one." She replied condescendingly, "I'm not even going to answer that." (She often says that when I "annoy" her.)
    via u/BlueDimity
  • 22
    But what pushed me over the edge? At 11:30 p.m., she casually asked IN FRONT of her two recently adopted teenagers (it's a long story but they
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  • 23
    teenagers (it's a long story but they don't even live with her but visit on occasion). She asked me IN FRONT of them "Do you mind if they sleep in the living room with you?"
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  • 24
    Feeling put on the spot, I said no problem. But the living room is very tiny, and now I'm trying to sleep five inches away from two teenagers I barely know, on the same pull-out couch.
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  • 25
    It's now past midnight. I feel small, humiliated, and completely disregarded, on what was supposed to be a special milestone: my 30th birthday.
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  • 26
    Cheezburger Image 10539340544
    via KrisCole from Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I hope our protagonist finds a way to make up for having such a lousy 30th. She deserves better. 

  • 27
    She knew I've spent most of my birthdays alone. She knew my mental health has been rocky. And this is how she treated me?
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  • 28
    I feel broken and beyond disappointed. Was I expecting too much? Am I overreacting?
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  • 29
    International Road371 Sounds like your friend took your kindness for granted. You deserved better on your birthday.
    via u/InternationalRoad371
  • 30
    bugabooandtwo Sounds like she never really intended to have you take her up on that offer she made. A lot of people like to make grandiose gesture and offers to make themselves look good....they don't expect someone to ever say yes!
    via u/bugabooandtwo
  • 31
    When you said yes, she suddenly realized she had to deliver on her promise....and she gave you a half- assed effort.
    via u/bugabooandtwo
  • 32
    Nenoshka If that was me and I had driven there in my own car, I for real would have up and left the next morning. Your friend was clearly not in hosting mode.
    via u/Nenoshka
  • 33
    Striking-Spare9967 You weren't expecting too much. You were a gracious guest for even staying as long as you did. I would have made up an excuse and packed up and left after "lunch." If I were you I'd reconsider this friendship.
    via u/Striking-Spare9967

Tags

friendship relationship advice birthday Female Empowerment adulting friends relationships adulthood entitled red flag money entitled people
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