Parents don't congratulate 15-year-old daughter on making the national debate team finals, praises her older brother for doing his PE assignment instead: 'He did a compulsory assignment and he gets all the praise in the world'

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    AITA for telling my parents they don't celebrate my achievements and it feels like they aren't proud of me?
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    I (15f) have been doing debating for my school this year. We beat out 50 teams and managed to get into quarter finals, and then the semi finals. Today we had the semi finals. It went for 1.5 hours and it was a really good debate.
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    Fortunately, my team managed to come out on top. Now, we are in the finals, and we've been told it is going to be held at Parliament. We're going to be debating in the Debate Chamber, where elections are held and decisions are made. This is one of, if not my greatest, achievement.
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    I came home to tell my parents, and they said "cool." And then started talking to my older brother about how he did his PE assignment, and how proud they are of him. He did a compulsory assignment and he gets all the praise in the world. I get to debate in the same place our prime minister is decided, and I get a "cool." I've only been debating for 6 months, as
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    has my whole team. We've beat 50 teams and have accomplished a huge thing and my parents don't care. So I said so. I told them they don't value my achievements and my brother is always praised for things that don't need praising. They got mad at me for 'disrespecting' them and now won't talk to me. I feel like I just want to be appreciated and no matter how many times I've told them that, they just don't care. AITA?
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    Artedia 8 hr. ago NTA First of all congrats for that great achievement! It's a parents job to value all achievements their kids have, not only the ones they maybe can relate more to or the golden child has. They should listen to their child if it doesn't feel validated and think about what they can do to change that, so that every child feels like a part of the family.
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    Instead they threw a hissy fit and behave like teenagers in giving you the silent treatment, maybe because they know they are in the wrong and wouldn't stand a chance in debating this topic with you, as you clearly showed them, that you are good in debating ;)
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    OscillatingFox 7 hr. ago I did debating and public speaking when I was your age ( and won a national public speaking event). I know exactly how much work it takes, the need for both advance prep and thinking on your feet, and having mental flexibility to look at questions from a lot of different angles. All that while speaking fluently off the cuff!
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    You've done brilliantly, and you're building a skill set that will stand you in excellent stead when you're getting your place at uni, and then entering the working world. I'm sorry your parents don't seem to appreciate your achievement. Please accept a massive hug from a mum on the internet who does understand it. I'm incredibly proud of you.
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    It may be your parents don't get it, or they are focusing on your brother's feelings, or I don't know what. That is hurtful to you, whatever the motive, and you're not the AH for wanting more from your parents. But in the long run, you are going to do a of a lot better in life as an articulate, independent young woman who sets her own standards of achievement than by having people applaud you for doing the bare minimum.
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    Bombadil3456 · 2 hr. ago It might be my own bias but the way I imagine it is that her parents will never be proud of anything that doesn't involve moving a ball around
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    GundyGalois 8 hr. ago NTA I think anyone would feel the same way. Do they typically favor your brother, or do they just not understand debate very well?
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    If you waited for a calmer moment and told them you wanted to talk to them about something important to you, would it help? People, even if in the wrong, often can't really hear what's being said to them in the heat of the moment. Most parents don't really want to hurt the feelings of one of their kids, but people can also be defensive.
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    No-Plant-8069. 3 hr. ago NTA I know how you feel. I was the overachiever of my siblings, and they got praise for the smallest things. I, however, was just expected to do well at everything, and if my outcome was the same as theirs, I would get yelled at for it.
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    I am older now, so I understand it a bit more. Not saying your parents are right in any way, but I think when it comes to raising children with a low drive to participate or succeed, they try everything in their power to motivate them and then overlook the one that's "already doing well".
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    Subconsciously, they probably know you will continue to work hard and succeed without them having to spoon feed you. Not saying it's right, though, but that's probably what's happening. Whatever you do, do not lose your drive. Own those finals! Crush 'em. For what it's worth, I am proud of you!
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    VirtualMatter2 · 7 hr. ago Firstly I want to say well done! I'm so proud of you! That's a great achievement!!!!! Secondly I want to introduce you to the idea of narcissistic parents and the golden child/scapegoat dynamic. I highly recommend looking into videos by Dr Ramani on YouTube. Search "golden child" or "family roles". See if that all makes sense.
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    Oh and "silent treatment". That's what they are currently doing. It's abusive. I don't have any great hopes of them changing to be honest, but keep doing what you're doing, get a great degree and job and find your own family that will appreciate you. NTA of course

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