Man Refuses to Help Pay Girlfriend’s Bills After He Moves in With Her, Claiming She Is Only After His Money, She Kicks Him Out in Response

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 28, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

Most long-term couples would tell you that moving in together is the biggest test to see if a relationship is strong. It is the ultimate challenge that presents the most ordinary but complicated tasks. If a couple feels that they succeeded in these tasks, that is a true testament to their compatibility and ability to stay together.

The couple in this Reddit story has learned that they were not compatible the first day they moved in together when the boyfriend refused to supply his share of the living expenses. Claiming that he shouldn't have to pay anything since he makes less money than his girlfriend, the couple started this shared challenge on the wrong foot. The girlfriend eventually ended up breaking up with him after he proved he was not interested in helping her financially whatsoever and kicked him out of her house.

Scroll down to read the full tale. After you are done, click here for a story of a daughter who confronts her dad for divorcing her mom, despite the mom cheating.

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  • 01
    I got upset and said he would still be paying rent regardless if he didn't move in but he said the difference now is that I'm profiting off of him. He said as a partner, I should want to cover more (AKA all) of the household expenses since I make significantly more.
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  • 02
    Boyfriend (37M) and I (40F) have discussed moving in together and he doesn't believe he should contribute any rent because I make significantly more than him. Can 2 people with such a large disparity in income make it work?
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  • 03
    My bf and I have been dating for almost 4 months. We have incredible physical, emotional and intellectual chemistry. He's currently a grad student and living off a stipend where he gets about $30K/year. I'm more established in my career in sales and I make about $150K/year.
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  • 04
    He's recently divorced, lives at home with his mom and pays her $800/month (not including utilities). I just bought a house and he's been helping me with the move and
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  • 05
    building furniture. We recently discussed living together because he practically stays over every night anyway. We agreed that instead of him paying his mom $800, that amount would go towards helping
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  • 06
    him paying his mom $800, that amount would go towards helping me out with the mountain of household expenses it takes to own a home.
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  • 07
    The issue is, we've had several disagreements regarding finances in the past. Initially, it bothered me that he couldn't afford to take me out on dates. I'll admit, I'm not a cheap date, I enjoy good food and drinks.
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  • 08
    However, it makes me sad to see him struggling to afford taking me out so to compromise, I've been cooking almost daily to help both of us save money.
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  • 09
    Recently, we got into a big argument because he was pushing the subject of officially moving in with me and I asked when he would start contributing to our household bills. Outside of occasionally pitching in
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  • 10
    for groceries, he hasn't given me any money, I also pay for more than half of our dates. He got angry and said he would not pay me the “rent” we agreed on and instead, he would just
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  • 11
    pay anything extra in what he uses in utilities since my household expenses would be something I was paying regardless if he moved in or not.
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  • 12
    I got upset and said he would still be paying rent regardless if he didn't move in but he said the difference now is that I'm profiting off of him. He said as a partner, I should want to cover more (AKA all) of the
    via KoolAideFool
  • 13
    household expenses since I make significantly more. He said me collecting rent from a partner who barely makes much is like me being a greedy landlord. I took great offense to this and was shocked he would
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  • 14
    think I'm profiting off of him. He stormed out after I called him a mooch and we haven't really been on speaking terms since. Am I being a greedy landlord for wanting him to pitch in $800/month
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  • 15
    (an amount he's already giving his mom)? I'm not asking him to pay half of even a third of what my expenses are, not even a quarter. I'm so appalled and disappointed that we get along so many ways but can't see eye to eye on money.
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  • 16
    What should I do here? Can 2 people with such a large disparity in income make it work? *** EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you everyone for all your advice. I have put a lot of thought into my relationship and have decided it's best not to continue.
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  • 17
    My now ex saw the post and he did not take responsibility for his actions. He said I was mean, unappreciating and domineering during our relationship which threw me off because practically everyday we were together, he would constantly tell me
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  • 18
    how sweet and amazing I was. He said he contributed plenty by helping me out with dishes, building furniture, groceries and meals he would buy me. Whenever we went to a nicer restaurant that I wanted to
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  • 19
    check out, I would foot the majority of the bills for those (over 80%) because I knew it would financially burden him too much. I want to make it clear that he did pay for some of our dates and meals, the
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  • 20
    ones that were more feasible for him. I was cool with that and appreciative, it worked for us. We went on plenty of low cost dates like hiking, game nights with friends, movies at my house, etc. During our relationship, I never felt like he was with me for my
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  • 21
    money, we mostly enjoyed our time together and had amazing chemistry. I love to cook and it never bothered me to cook most our meals at home. To answer some of your questions and to clarify a little more his father -
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  • 22
    was gravely ill last year with ca cer so he moved home with his parents to take care of them during his separatation. His father has then passed and he lives with just his mom now and has been helping her out. I don't want to comment on the
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  • 23
    reason for his divorce because I truly don't know. What he told me were the reasons may not be the full truth. When we had initially talked about him moving in with me, my plan was to wait until after he had graduated
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  • 24
    and found a stable job. We would have been dating for a year then. The $800 he normally gives his mom would go towards utilities and groceries, not rent as I did not want to view him as tenant. At the time, we both agreed that would be a fair split.
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  • 25
    As we were talking yesterday, he said I was misleading in my post and the reason he pushed to move in was to help ME out. Which doesn't makes any sense to me because when it actually came time to contribue to the bills, he never offered to pay
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  • 26
    anything and when I asked him when he would, he lashed out, called me a greedy landlord and that he would only contribute anything extra in utilities that he incurred as anything more would be me profiting off of him, which is how this fight started.
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  • 27
    Instead of being humbled by the really insightful feedback here, he proceeded to say my comment section was filled with all the bitter, single feminists on Reddit telling me to run and that I could do better. He
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  • 28
    said my clock was ticking and I don't have much time to find a man. I also don't want children btw so there really was no rush to move in together and I was naive and blinded by love, which caused my temporary lapse in judgement. That's definitely
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  • 29
    not happening again. I've worked incredibly hard to get to where I'm at and during the breakup, he said that my skills aren't worth half of what I'm getting paid.
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  • 30
    So yeah, we're no longer together and I have peace in knowing it would have never worked out. Thank you Reddit for helping me realize how incompatible we were and had he moved in, it would have been a disaster.
    via KoolAideFool

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