Son Goes No Contact With Uncle After Being Uninvited to his ‘Adults Only’ Wedding, the Whole Family Gets Involved, Begging For Forgiveness

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 27, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Being uninvited to a wedding is hurtful for anyone, and there are few reasons I could imagine that legitimize it. Whether you fought with someone, or had some sort of falling out, it's just plain immature to uninvite family members to your wedding. As inappropriate as it is, it's increasingly common. With no contact, cancel culture, and invitations to weddings, we are slowly drifting further and further apart from each other. 

In this Reddit thread, the reason for the boy to be uninvited to his uncle's wedding is his age. A ridiculous rule and reason. The couple getting married apparently didn't realize that they booked the wedding to be at a resort that is 'child free,' meaning it won't host anyone younger than 16. If you ask me, 25 is practically still a child, so why point fingers at 13 year old's. Maturity isn't all about age, as seen by this couple pretending to not know their nephew wouldn't be able to attend. 

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  • 01
    Fast forward to January, less than a month before the wedding, when my SIL called me crying saying that Karen had made a mistake with the venue. Apparently, the resort was for adults only so they didn't allow anyone younger than 16. My son was 13 at the time. I asked her if it would be possible for Leo and
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 4 days ago LeoBastion D AITAH for not making my son forgive my brother after he was uninvited from his wedding?
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 03
    I'm going through all the comments and I just wanted to answer a question I've seen like 10 times now: I did not go to the wedding. I didn't want to leave my son alone while most of the family was away and it just didn't feel right going to the wedding after what happened.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 04
    6 months ago my son Leo (14m) decided to cutoff my brother Jack (46m). Now my mum, brother, SIL and other family members want me to make my son forgive him to keep the peace.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 05
    For a little bit of context, I'm (46m) a single dad. My family has always helped me in many ways (mostly baby-sitting when Leo was younger) and even before my son was born, we were all very close. We all live relatively close to each other so we've been able to keep in touch with weekly gatherings, spending the holidays
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 06
    together, etc. Everyone loves my son and my son loved them back.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 07
    However, my brother Jack was always my son's favorite person. Back when my son was 3-4 years old, Jack and his wife had more flexible jobs than me (think freelancing vs a 9 to 5) so they always volunteered to look after Leo, something he loved. Almost every month they would take him to the zoo, or the aquarium, or they'd even go camping with him.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 08
    As my son grew older, he started to develop the same interests as ny brother like videogames, photography, and music. When Leo was 9, he told me he wanted to have the same career as his uncle.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 09
    This is all to say, they were extremely close. Last year my brother informed me that he and his gf Mary were getting married. I knew that neither Jack nor his gf believed in marriage so when I asked them about it, they told me it was all Karen's idea (my SIL's mum).
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 10
    Because Jack and Mary didn't care much about the wedding and since Karen was paying for it, they let her plan everything, from the venue to the food, music, etc. Karen decided to plan a destination wedding at a fancy resort.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 11
    In July of last year we received the invitation and it was addressed to both me and my son. I even had a plus one if I wanted. And as soon as the website went up, I tried to make a reservation for our hotel room. I should clarify that I had to call the hotel to make my reservation because the link wasn't working
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 12
    and I really couldn't risk not getting a room. When I received the email confirmation, it said "room for 2 adults" but I didn't think much of it and just assumed it was an error due to the language barrier with the hotel guy. I also bought the plane tickets for us around the same time.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 13
    Fast forward to January, less than a month before the wedding, when my SIL called me crying saying that Karen had made a mistake with the venue. Apparently, the resort was for adults only so they didn't allow anyone younger than 16. My son was 13 at the time. I asked her if it would be possible for Leo and
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 14
    me to say in another hotel, but they told me the whole resort was child free so my son wouldn't even be allowed to attend the ceremony or the reception. I was disappointed and I told my SIL I'd talk to my son about it (I knew how excited he was about his uncle's wedding) but she insisted both her and Jack wanted to tell him in person.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 15
    Honestly my son was devastated. He started crying as soon as he was told he wouldn't be able to go. He pleaded with them and even offered to give them all of his savings so they could move the wedding. After 30 minutes of this, my SIL got frustrated and just told him that he was being selfish and that this day wasn't about him. Leo
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 16
    eventuallyapologized and went to his room.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 17
    After the wedding, my son just stopped talking to my brother. If Jack sent him a message, Leo would just ignore it unless it had something to do with me (for example, he would only reply if Jack asked him to tell me something because he couldn't reach me, etc). On our family gatherings, Leo would only respond to small questions like
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 18
    "can you pass the salt" or "help grandma with the plates", but he would ignore my brother if Jack or Mary tried to start a conversation or ask him about school, etc.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 19
    A month after the wedding, Jack and Mary offered to take him for a special vacation during spring break to "make up for the wedding", but my son just ignored them and he later told me he didn't want to go with them. It was heartbreaking because I knew how much he wanted to go to that place and I wasn't able to afford it yet, but he
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 20
    wasn't able to afford it yet, but he stuck to his guns.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 21
    Something similar happened on Leo's birthday. He asked me if I was planning to throw him a party (I do it every year) and when I said yes he asked me not to invite his aunt and uncle. I tried to convince him to invite them because they're family and they were really sorry but he just said that if they didn't want him on their special day, he didn't
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 22
    want them on his. My brother was crying when I told him he wasn't invited.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 23
    However, things came to a head this past weekend. We were at my mum's house and the conversation of Leo's university came up. My mum asked Leo if he was still planning on going to the same university as Jack and that he should start planning for that, but my son replied that he wasn't interested anymore and he
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 24
    had chosen to study something else. Then my mum said "I thought you wanted to be like your uncle" and my son just said "why would I want to be like him?"
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 25
    At this point I intervened and told Leo he didn't have to be so rude but the damage was already done. Both my brother and SIL heard what he said and they left shortly after.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 26
    Last night my brother texted me saying I was an for letting my son continue with this grudge and he even accused me of being jealous of their relationship and that's why I wasn't doing anything to fix it. I just told him these were the consequences of his actions and that this was 100% his fault by allowing his
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 27
    POS mother-in-law to plan the wedding when she obviously hated my child. He hung up on me.
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 28
    My mum and some other family members think I should force my son to forgive my brother so we can all move on claiming there. was no ill intent and it was just a small mistake. But I don't think I should. My son was clearly hurt and he should be allowed to heal and forgive them only when he's ready. So AITAH?
    via u/LeoBastion
  • 29
    • throwaway20648 4d ago NTA- I have a hunch this is less about the wedding and more about the conversation where they called him selfish. To me, that conversation would've done enough damage to ruin the relationship. I'm guessing they never
    via u/throwaway20648
  • 30
    apologized to your son for saying the things they said or reacting the way they did. He trusted them, and instead of them helping him process this extremely upsetting thing- that was their mistake- they called him selfish and yelled at him and effectively ruined their relationship. They are the
    via u/throwaway20648
  • 31
    adults- if they want to fix the relationship, they need to stop trying to buy him and they need to start apologizing and making amends for the hurt and discord they caused. Your son wasn't rude when he said he didn't want to be like his uncle- he was answering a question
    via u/throwaway20648
  • 32
    honestly- no one shouldn't put him in a position to give an honest answer he would get in trouble for- that's incredibly crappy on the adults to do- especially when you called him rude- you are the ah for that. Get him some therapy- he's been betrayed by some of the most important people
    via u/throwaway20648
  • 33
    in his life. Your son is the only one nta in this situation. You should apologize to him as well for calling him rude when he wasn't.
    via u/throwaway20648
  • 34
    Spiritual-TarHeel • 4d ago You cannot force someone else to forgive another person. Your child was hurt. You can talk to him, but you can't force your son to forgive.
    via u/Spiritual-TarHeel

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