Selfish mom forces best friend to constantly babysit needy 10-month-old baby, rages when she gets told to hire a nanny: 'I agreed ten minutes, and that turned into one and a half hours'

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  • 01
    Shan
  • 02
    AITA for telling my best friend she needs to hire a nanny instead of relying on me?
  • 03
    So my best friend is like my sister and we always help each other out when needed. She has a 10 months old baby and I have always been helping her in every way I can, but lately it started to be a daily thing. We live on the same floor next to each other and she calls me to watch her baby over everything. 'i need to shower, can you hold him? 'he is so bored, can you hold him?' She calls me like multiple times a day to ask for a favour and now even when I don't reply.. she comes to my house with
  • 04
    yesterday I had some work to do on my laptop and she asked me to hold him for '10' minuts cause she wanted to take a quick shower. I agreed for 10 minuts and that turned into one and half hour.
  • 05
    Mind you, her son is really not an 'easy' baby. Cries uncontrollably the moment you put him down and try to play with him. So I am forced to walk for like one and half hour with him in my arms while I have other things to do...
  • 06
    Anyway yesterday I felt lightheaded while walking around with the baby.. so I put him down while trying to distract him with some toys.. he kept crying so loud, but I couldn't take him cause I was worried I would drop him..
  • 07
    She heard the 'crying' and knocked my door in a ballistic angry way.. saying why do you let him cry? I explained to her the situation and also told her that its her fault for not disciplining him and letting him play on his own.. Ive babysitted a lot of babies in the past and none of them were like this.. it's not the baby's fault. It's def hers
  • 08
    She was like: I don't like to ever hear my baby cry and I do not accept that you let him cry either. That really me off.. so I went on like: Then you should hire a nanny that will fulfil all of your requirements...
  • 09
    Extra info: nobody of her family, including her mom, want to ever help her out cause of the fact that they can't put him ever down... not even for a second. Also: her husband has a very well paying job.. they can easily afford to hire help
  • 10
    Thirdly.. I absolutely do not mind helping her out and I love her baby, but I do not like when it's like a 'must' and she even gets angry when I don't do it 'her way'.
  • 11
    Side-note: I always do it her way.. just yesterday it was taking too long and I was just concerned about his wellbeing.. as I had already fainted a couple of days ago when helping out someone feels like an obligation I immediately don't want to do it anymore.. am I being an ? Edit: I don't mean discipling, but TRAINING. English is not my first language.
  • 12
    MeowSkitty Next time she knocks on your door with that baby, quickly grab your outside jacket and bag, and open the door. Pretend you were going out to the store or something. This is only a temporary solution for when she refuses to get the hint or if you don't know how you should say No.
  • 13
    citrushibiscus She sounds very selfish and ungrateful not to mention entitled. I think you need to take a break from this friendship and reevaluate if she's someone you want in your life if she acts like this. Has she always been like this, taking you for granted, you always folding to her? At least stop opening your door when she knocks. Tell her you can't watch the baby, and if she gets upset, block her. There's a difference between helping her sometimes and this. She needs to learn that you d
  • 14
    Famous_Specialist_44 You sound like a saint. No one can expect a small child to never cry. No one should expect a friend or neighbour to be the on-call child minder. No one should say 10 minutes and stretch it to over an hour. NTA
  • 15
    RMaua ΝΤΑ Stop opening the door when she tries to hand him off. Or find somewhere else to be during the day so she can't drop him off. Not your baby, not your responsibility.
  • 16
    NatashOverWorld You're not being an AH, you're being used. The whole 10 mins that becomes an hour and a half? That's not an accident. Your friend has decided you're her free babysitter OP. You need to break that delusion of hers. NTA
  • 17
    DazzleLove NTA. But it isn't necessarily her or the baby's fault he cries all the time- a panoply of health issues like reflux, delayed food allergies, can make babies inconsolable like this. My niece was like this till we found the cause, then became a different baby.
  • 18
    LucyParish NTA NTA. It's clear tat you've been a great friend by helping out, but it sounds like yur friend's expectations hve become too demanding. It's important to set boundaries, especialy wen it starts affecting your own well-being. It's reasonable to suggest that if her nids are so specific and frequent, hiring a nanny might be a better solution for both of you......
  • 19
    equationgirl NTA. Poor chap might be going through separation anxiety, or be dealing with reflux, all sorts of things. Has he had a check up recently? None of that is your responsibility OP. You've been a great friend so far and she needs to organise childcare. And pay for it - has she ever paid you?

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