'[Today] MIL just blew all of her chances of being a grandma': Mother-in-law throws tantrum after being told she's going to be a grandmother, couple decides to go ‘no contact’ with her

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Aug 30, 2024 7:00 AM EDT

It is not an easy decision to go "no contact" with a toxic family member—especially, then that family member is your own mother. You were raised by this person, but it took you until adulthood to realize how horrible she has been to you. What do you do? You know have this torturous emotion of loving someone wholeheartedly as you have your entire life, and hating them. It's obvious how much they have messed you up as a person and continue to. So you decide to cut them out of your life. Good for you. And yet, would that decision be easier or harder if you had your own family to think about as well? Now, you aren't the only one having to cut a family member out, but so is your partner and children. 

That is the predicament this couple found themselves in after the husband's mother threw her last tantrum.  

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  • The couple tried very hard to have children and finally, the day came when they were able to deliver the happy news that they were pregnant. The parents of the expecting mother were ecstatic and congratulated the couple. However, the mother of the expecting father was another story. They already were on shakey terms with her, due to how horribly she has always treated her son. But, he still kept her around because he was a good son and still cared for her. The mom threw Karen-level tantrums constantly and made her distaste of her son's wife by being a vocally horrible mother-in-law. 

    Her final tantrum came when the MIL found out that the mom's parents would be babysitting the baby and not her. She started calling the mother inappropriate names and getting completely and selfishly enraged. Finally, the couple had had enough. They both decided it was time to go “no contact.” Now, this terrible mother and horrid MIL has lost all her chances of being a grandmother. Do you think this was the right choice? Read the entire situation below. 

  • 01
    "We told [her] the news, but my MIL did not congratulate us and went on rambling about her own deteriorating health."
    via Creative Commons CC0 via Pxhere
  • 02
    MIL just blew all of her chances of being a grandma My (F28) husband (M28) are expecting our first child. It took us some time to conceive, so of course we are over the moon! But of course there is a JNMIL in the picture to screw up our happiness.
    via Knorrig24
  • 03
    My MIL is an incredibly psychologically complicated person who basically made my husbands childhood a terrible experience. He does not feel any love whatsoever for his mother, the relationship they have is like some sort of theatrical play that remains established out of duty after his father passed away when he was still a child. I won't go into detail but basically my husband has heard all his life that he was unwanted and that she only had him because his father wanted a child. To this day sh
    via Knorrig24
  • 04
    her personal mission destroy my husbands self esteem. Putting up boundaries with her results in dramatic whining and tantrums and involving other family members to gaslight my husband into thinking he did something wrong. Before we found out I was pregnant my husband and I had gone LC with her.
    via Knorrig24
  • 05
    Throughout the years I have also become a target of her emotional abuse, because of course I am the one who caused her son to move out of her house and make her lose grip on him. She also suspects my family of blackmailing her, because they don't want any contact with her after throwing major tantrums during our wedding planning and other family events. When we found out I was expecting my husband did want to share with her that she was going to be a grandmother. My parents were very emotional a
    via Knorrig24
  • 06
    went on rambling about her own deteriorating health (she is 50 but acts like she can die any moment). This was expected, but still heartbreaking for my husband that she was not happy about the news. She checked in once how I felt because husband told her that I was really sick. She proceeded to text me that I was poisoning my baby with the anti nausea meds I was prescribed. That was when we decided to not share anything about the pregnancy anymore with her. She
    via Knorrig24
  • 07
    somehow found out that my mom is going to be babysitting for us to alleviate some of the childcare costs for us. I trust my mom 100% with this since we have a great relationship and she is very loving and caring, but I would NEVER let MIL babysit for obvious reasons. This resulted in a major tantrum again today from MIL over the telephone where she went rambling on about EVERYTHING we have done wrong in the past years and she
    via Knorrig24
  • 08
    called me a wh*re multiple times. My husband hung up the phone, only to receive the same rant in multiple text messages a few moments later. I immediately decided that I do not want to see her or talk to her ever again. Enough is enough, I won't be dropping by when the baby is born or allowing her to visit our home. Husband is now for the first time also considering going completely
    via Knorrig24
  • 09
    NC. I really hope he will have the confidence to keep up with this. If we are both NC, our child will never be exposed to her abusive behavior. It's still saddening that my child will only have grandparents from one side of the family and that my husband will never have a real mother.
    via Knorrig24
  • 10
    M-Any-Wulfe 24m ago congratulations & hope he has a good therapist. You're valid af not wanting her around y'alls family.
    via M-Any-Wulfe
  • 11
    Euphoric_Peanut... • 33m ago No grandparents at all is actually preferable to a toxic one like this.
    via Euphoric_Peanut1492
  • 12
    VoidKitty 119 36m ago I hope you both go NC! The last thing you need is someone making this time more stressful. I'm sure your husband has grief he'll be ready to work through when things calm down.
    via VoidKitty119
  • 13
    And congrats on the baby!! | hope it all goes well for you. I had no relationship with my paternal grandparents because of their abuse and I don't mind. Never felt like I was missing out.
    via VoidKitty119
  • 14
    WhiskeyAndWhiske... • 1h ago I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and childbirth. You, your DH, and your baby do not need that kind of toxicity in your lives. She called you a for crying out loud. And she told your husband as a child that he was unwanted. That's something no child should ever have to hear.
    via WhiskeyAndWhiskey97
  • 15
    When you give birth, make sure the hospital staff know that MIL is not permitted in. If you give security a heads up, and she tries to barge into the delivery room (which she might), security will remove her. Again, all the best!
    via WhiskeyAndWhiskey97
  • 16
    KesselRun73 2h ago The thing about your child. never having contact with such a mean, narcissistic and hateful grandparent is that they will never miss that person. Stay strong, OP and OP's husband. You don't have to leave any room for that garbage in your (or your child's) life.
    via KesselRun73
  • 17
    . jbarneswilson • 2h ago that is really saddening and i am so sorry she's such a broken person. i hope he will realize how much better things are when you go NC with someone like her. i wish you all luck and a smooth delivery
    via jbarneswilson
  • 18
    Legitimate-Gain1749 . 5h ago You are obviously doing the right thing. I would never allow her near myself or the child. I'd make sure hubby understood that crystal clear. No way would I allow him to serve up my innocent baby to that itch just so she could abuse another innocent. That is the hill to die on.
    via Legitimate-Gain1749

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