19-year-old daughter is tired of being her non-English speaking parent's sole translator, refuses to keep carrying the load alone after her older brother returns from living abroad and is excused from helping: 'My parents act like he's the golden child'

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    Young woman teaching English on the computer
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    AITA for refusing to translate for my parents after my brother moved back in and took over my role in the house ?

    I (19F) am the only one in my family who is fully fluent in English. My parents immigrated when I was a baby, and my older brother (22M) moved back to our
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    home country when he was 10 to be raised by our grandparents. He recently moved back in with us after 12 years abroad.
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    For most of my life, I've been the one handling everything for my parents: filling out forms, translating at appointements, reading legal documents, talking
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    to banks, scheduling anything. I've done this since I was about 11. It was exhausting, but I didn't question it because I knew they needed help.
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    Since my brother came back, things changed. He speaks decent English now, not perfect, but enough to help. Except... he doesn't. He just act like he's too
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    good for it. And somehow, my parents act like he's the golden child. They dote on him, praise him constantly, and now they only speak to me when they need something.
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    A week ago, they asked me to take time off work to translate at an immigration appointment for my mom. I said I couldn't,
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    because I had a shift I couldn't miss, and I suggested they ask my brother instead. My mom said, "He's not used to this stuff. It's easier with you."
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    I snapped a little and said, "yeah, because I've been forced to do it for years." I told them I was tired of being treated like a tool just
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    because I happen to speak English better, especially now that they have another adult child living here. My dad told me I was being ungrateful and that" family helps without complaining."
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    Since then, they've been cold. My brother said I was being "dramatic" and that it's not his fault they trust me more. But it's not about trust, it's that they've
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    never even asked him. I've missed school, work, and social events to translate for them. He's been here three months and hasn't lifted a finger.
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    Son sitting with his senior parents on the couch
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    Now I feel guilty. I don't want to abandon them, but I also don't want to keep carrying this alone just because I was born here and he wasn't. AITA for refusing to be their translator anymore?
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    DCpurpleTart33 Definitely NTA. Tell them in no uncertain terms that you are very happy to help, if you are available. You will not be taking off work or missing important events but if you're free, you look forward to assisting. If they have a problem with this, they can go ahead and be cold. You just need to be prepared for their reaction.
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    nina_daltry OP Yeah, that's exactly how I'm trying to handle it now. I wanted to help when I can, but I also have my own life and responsabilities. I've missed a lot already and honestly, it's frustrating that they expect me to drop everything every single time. If they get upset, that's on them, I can't keep burning out trying to be their full-time translator and assistant. I just wish my brother would step up too.
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    Competitive_Bad4537 YTA. You live with your parents. They don't trust your brother's English. You might have perfectly valid reasons to feel how you do but this isn't the way to handle it.
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    nina_daltry OP I get it and yeah, I do live with my parents, its true they don't fully trust my brother with the English stuff yet, but honestly, it's also because he never really tries or offers to help. They say stuff like "he's not used to this" but from what I see, it's just an excuse so they don't have to ask him
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    celticmusebooks If it's a government office they are legally required to provide an interpreter.
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    Alexreddit103 Well, isn't your brother part of that thing "family helps each other"?
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    Hippopotasaurus-Rex My own bias is going to play a role here. Let the golden child handle all of it. Keep parents at arms distance (or if needed not at all).
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    DependentMarsupial99 NTA-I don't know your culture however it doesn't excuse your parents for being to depend on you when the roles are supposed to be reversed, at least here in the US

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