'What a twisted and cruel thing to do': Backstabbing sister tells sister's fiancé 'he could do better,' is surprised when she won't attend her wedding

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    AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after what she did to my fiancé?
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    So, my (28F) sister "Ella" (31F) is getting married in two weeks. We've always been close, even though we have our differences. I've always been more of a laid-back, introverted person, while Ella is the life of the party and loves being the center of attention. It never bothered me much-until now.
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    I've been engaged to my fiancé, "Mark" (29M), for about a year. He's wonderful-kind, supportive, and just an all-around great guy. My family has always liked him, or so I thought. But about a month ago, something happened that made me question everything.
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    Ella asked Mark to meet her for coffee one day, saying she needed help picking out a wedding gift for me. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when Mark came home, he was really quiet. After some coaxing, he finally told me what happened.
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    Apparently, Ella spent the entire time. trying to convince him that I wasn't right for him. She told him I was too boring, that I wasn't ambitious enough, and that he could "do better." She even went so far as to suggest that he should call off the engagement and see other people. Mark was completely blindsided and upset-he said he defended me, but it was clear that Ella was relentless.
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    I was furious when I found out. I confronted Ella, and she didn't even deny it. She said she was "just looking out for Mark" and that she "wants the best for him." When I asked her why she thought it was her place to interfere in our relationship, she just shrugged and said she was being honest.
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    I told her that what she did was completely out of line and hurtful, not just to me, but to Mark as well. She didn't apologize-instead, she doubled down, saying that if I was confident in my relationship, I wouldn't be so upset. I ended up leaving her house in tears.
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    Since then, I've barely spoken to her. My parents found out about the situation and while they agree that what Ella did was wrong, they're begging me to still attend the wedding. They think that missing it would cause a huge rift in the family and that I should just "let it go" for the sake of peace.
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    But I don't know if I can. Every time I think about what she did, it makes my blood boil. I feel betrayed and hurt, and I don't know if I can just pretend everything is fine for her big day. Mark supports whatever decision I make, but I can tell he's hurt by this too. So, AITA for refusing to go to my sister's wedding after what she did to my fiancé?
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    CrystalQ... 1h ago · Edited 1h ago NTA She might be getting married to someone else but she clearly has feelings for Mark
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    • amyloulie 1h ago NTA. I don't blame you for not wanting to breathe the same air as her. What a twisted and cruel thing to do. Also, it's odd that she's "looking out for Mark" and not her sister. Distance is key with her from now I feel
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    imwilling2learn · 1h ago NTA. Narcissist, cheaters, basically generally people all bank on the fact that your reaction to their toxic behavior will be viewed as an overreaction, and they try to pin the blame on you. This is especially true in family
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    dynamics, with this ridiculous belief that somehow being related by blood, give someone a free pass to all over you.if she ever is truly repent, then maybe there would be room for grace and forgiveness. But until then I would consider her dead to you.
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    NoZookeepergame9552 1h ago • NTA. Ella didn't do anything to your fiancé - she did something to you. She belittled you and tried to ruin your romantic relationship. Why would you go celebrate her relationship after that?
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    It is understandable that your parents don't want the complication of children fighting and having to explain your absence. But "Keeping the peace" translates to let people treat you badly to make my life easier and that is not fair to ask - they are the parents. Hopefully they are asking Ella to apologize,
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    otherwise they are TAH too. And hopefully Ella's husband is aware of how casually and unapologetically she is willing to backstab and hurt her sister, who is her family as he is soon to be.
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    Agreeable-Book-7018 · 1h ago NTA. Tell your parents you're staying home for the sake of peace. Your peace.
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    UsualConcept6870 • 1h ago While she did this to your fiancee, I think you are very hard trying to ignore the things she said about you. She put you down as much as she could, trying to get your fiancee to break up with you. I don't understand why you would consider going to any of her events at all.
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    You do realize, she called you boring, unambitious, basically too for him? And when you confronted her, she said she did it for him? So she thinks and says these things about you without shame, you don't mind that part at all?
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    Next time they tell you to go the wedding, say that you are too boring and don't want to ruin it for her, surely she will have many friends who are much better than you at everything, to give her the support she deserves.

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