Siblings Call Out Sister-in-Law After She Admits to Selling Her Kid’s Hand-Me-Downs as a Side Hustle: 'I told her that she probably shouldn't expect us to give them anything else'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Sep 2, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

How would you feel if you knew someone was taking the hand-me-downs you gifted to them and selling them on the Internet? Apparently, this is quite a controversial topic. Some claim that you're already giving away something you don't want in the first place, so once you hand it over, it's that person's choice what to do with it. At the same time, others claim that it's extremely entitled to sell someone's things that they clearly gifted for you to use. So, whose side are you on?

In this story, a sister-in-law boasts to her husband's siblings that they had received so many hand-me-downs for their kids that she made it into a side hustle by selling them online. Though she and her husband saw absolutely no issues with this behavior, his siblings would not have been more appalled, primarily the husband's older sister. She claimed that if she knew they were just going to sell her gifted items, she would have donated them for free to mothers who are more in need. She brings up a good point, but is it valid? 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole ⚫ 17 hr. • sidehussleaita AITA For telling my sister- in-law that her "side hustle" makes her a bad person
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 02
    My brother (33M) and his wife (30F) have 2 young boys (3 & 1). My wife and I have a 5-year-old son so over the years we have given them quite a few items that we no longer used/needed. Crib, clothes, toys, various baby items, etc. Most of the things were just taking up space in our house and
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 03
    we knew they would put them to use so we had no problem giving them away. We visited them a couple weeks ago for their 3-year-old's birthday party. During the party, SIL mentioned that she has been selling off a bunch of baby stuff as
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 04
    a "side hustle." Both she and my brother are the youngest of their families and she said that they get so many hand-me-downs from their siblings that they couldn't keep track of them all. Her solution was to start selling these gifts off online to make a few extra bucks. She was basically
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 05
    bragging about it. I told her that is a pretty crappy thing to do considering that these items were given to them as gifts that they willingly accepted and were expected to use. I asked her if they had sold some of the things we have given them and she laughed
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 06
    and said that she was sure she did because we've given them a lot of stuff. I told her that if I had known she was going to sell those items off, I would have given them away to someone else or donated them to a local non-profit that helps young
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 07
    mothers in need. She got defensive and told me that it's not like she's making a lot of money off these things, just a few bucks here and there. I told her that the people buying those items are probably the same people who would benefit from getting them
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 08
    for free and that she's taking advantage of them. She went off about how hard things are with the economy right now and how they need all the help they can get financially. Mind you, both she and my brother have college degrees and work full-time. I know raising kids is
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 09
    expensive, but they aren't in dire straits. I told her that she probably shouldn't expect us to give them anything else in the future and I would probably suggest to my other siblings that they refrain from doing so as well and look
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 10
    into other options for donating things. She got defensive again and told me that she doesn't feel like she's doing anything wrong. I told her she's entitled to feel that way, but my opinion of her as a person is now lesser because of this. She said that selling things
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 11
    they don't use to make a few bucks doesn't make her a bad person and I told her that considering they were given these things for free, it kind of does. By this point other people had noticed our conversation and my brother stepped in to end the
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 12
    conversation before things got too heated. He told me I should mind my own business and that if I don't want to give them anything else in the future, that's my choice. But that I took this too far by calling his wife a bad person for selling things they don't use.
    via u/sidehussleaita
  • 13
    Honest-Sector-4558 • 17h ago Aficionado [18] Both she and my brother are the youngest of their families and she said that they get so many hand- me-downs from their siblings that they couldn't keep track of them all. Her solution was to start selling these gifts off online to make a few extra bucks. Just to clarify, these are not "gifts." A hand-me-down is an item someone else has already used but no longer wants.
    via u/Honest-Sector-4558
  • 14
    That's very different from them purchasing something brand new for a specific person. A lot of people who give hand-me- downs are just happy to be rid of those things, because they no longer use them and are taking up space. They also have the option to try and sell or repurpose these items, but if they choose to give it to someone else that's on them.
    via u/Honest-Sector-4558
  • 15
    I told her that the people buying those items are probably the same people who would benefit from getting them for free and that she's taking advantage of them. Full stop, this is a huge reach on your part. Tons of people resell used items or other things for a few bucks on various apps or at garage sales. Should all of those people not be allowed to resell things? They're putting in the work to market the item, and they're probably selling it for very little profit.
    via u/Honest-Sector-4558
  • 16
    I think YTA for trying to insist something that is perfectly normal is somehow inherently wrong. She is not taking advantage of people, she is putting in time and effort to make what sounds like a minimal profit off items she has an abundance of.
    via u/Honest-Sector-4558
  • 17
    fallingintopolkadots Craptain [166] • 17h ago Ehhhh. Knowing that you AND your siblings were all giving (giving not gifting) her hand-me-downs, you had to think that mayyyyyyyyybe they were being given more than they could use. Just as these things were taking up space in your house, they are now taking up space in theirs. After you give them all away, you lose the right to say what's done with them. Could she have
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 18
    donated what she didn't want / use / didn't need anymore? Sure. But she decided to sell them (and I'm going to assume she's selling them as used, so not for a huge amount of money). You could have done either of these things, too, but you (and your siblings) just assumed they would need all of your unneeded stuff.
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 19
    Knowing that it's so many of you who want to offload onto her, and that they could realistically only want or need so much of it, it would have made SO much more sense to show her what you were looking to get rid of (or ask what she needed) and then tell her to pick what she wants and that you'll deal with the rest. With the rest, you could have found someone else who needed things to offer them to, donated to an organization / place of worship, or sold them yourselves. It would have been your c
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 20
    But you didn't. You all gave her more things than she could actually use and it was all just taking up space their home. Selling it is what she decided to do with it. YTA for criticizing her for it. What ya'll do it in future, however, is up to you and they seem fine with that.
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 21
    thesilveringfox • 16h ago Partassipant [1]¸ YTA. you gave her family some stuff. at this point the stuff was no longer yours. she can do whatever she wants with it: sell it, burn it, whatever. you get zero say. yes, you're perfectly entitled to no longer give her hand-me-downs (i.e., your trash), that's your choice. YTA mostly because you're judging her for what she does with her (family's) stuff. enlisting the rest of the family to follow your lead? low. they get to make their own decisions. ey
    via u/thesilveringfox
  • 22
    Ok Discount 7889 12h ago Partassipant [1] NTA. I'm with you on this one. Selling a bulky item here or there wouldn't be a big deal to me (the second hand market for baby stuff is huge and a discount on a big ticket item can be a win-win for both parties), but calling it a side hustle and bragging about how much money she's making off of her family's generosity doesn't sit well. Guess she's never heard of the concept of paying it. forward.
    via u/Ok_Discount_7889
  • 23
    I don't think you're going to convince her you're right though, so I would just avoid the subject moving forward. And donate your things to a charity or local Buy Nothing group instead.
    via u/Ok_Discount_7889
  • 24
    • Ok-Rice-7589 12h ago Edited 12h ago • NTA. There was a post on here not that long ago about a woman selling stuff she had gotten for free and she got bashed for it, this is exactly the same thing and somehow this is okay? Make it make sense making profit off something you got for nothing just makes you pretty crappy and to brag about that? Gross, they sound like greedy money hungry people. If you can't see what's wrong with this then it shows the kind of person you are.
    via u/Ok-Rice-7589
  • 25
    3 <3 FRAGILE HANDLE WITH CARE
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family drama drama kids side hustle sister-in-law siblings hand-me-down in laws entitled family Reddit children
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