Awful boss gets comeuppance after employee writes essay to entire staff about his poor management: 'My toxic work environment has just worn me down'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Sep 10, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Sometimes just quitting isn't enough. If you have been working in an unfair, unjust, and just all-around unprofessional work environment for a long time, merely saying "Sayonara" isn't going to give you the satisfactory exit you deserve. 

This Redditor had endured a ton of extra work and responsibility. Having worked in the non-profit space for quite some time, he was accustomed to being overworked and underpaid with no rewards for taking on extra responsibility. So after numerous attempts to reason with his boss, he decided to put all of his feelings down in writing before ultimately quitting the industry and pivoting to higher education and academia (another problematic world, but that's another story).

He wound up writing an epic essay detailing his boss's poor management skills and explaining how they were damaging both his personal morale and the productivity of the organization at large. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more, check out this post about an employee's malicious compliance and how his manager finally backed off.

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    ✓ r/BestofRedditorUpdates Posted ☐ by u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Rebbit 10 days ago My boss basically told me to "it up, get demoted, or quit but if you quit, give us 6 months notice so we can replace you
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    Original Post May 2, 2023 In the industry I work in, I was tossed into a position where I was going to be "wearing a lot of hats."
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    My boss has been relentless ever since he put me into a new role just 2 months after I was hired for a different one. It took him 8 months to provide me with a job description for this new role. This
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    role was intended for him originally but he said he needed someone else to take it on because he was already slammed. There was no structure at all and he had no plans for it. He would leave out information or not include me in key meetings with executives or donors. If he made a mistake, he
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    would say it was me that did it. If a plan he had failed, it was my fault. He made sure to make everyone believe that I was dramatic.
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    Fast forward a year later and I am very overwhelmed. Im given impossible deadlines and workloads that have started to affect my mental health. My boss
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    will ask me to do stuff out of work hours or to work overtime to prove that I am giving my all. I decline these things because to me, I work my 40 hours and that is it.
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    After many people urged me to talk with my boss about the burn out Im feeling and him sending messages to my team asking us to approach him if we feel burn out, I
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    did it. His response was to put down my entire team and that we are "unmotivated" and that I need to decide whether I can work harder because if not, I should find a different career or calling in life. He tried to paint it as him guiding me to "help."
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    He told me that I am working above my paygrade and that I should either accept a demotion, it up and try harder, or give him a 6 month notice that I am quitting. He brought up how I might have something
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    psychologically or mentally wrong with me and that I need to figure out what I want in life.
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    Little does he know, the former college I used to lecture at has invited me to apply to a new position on the campus that pays almost more than double than my job pays me now and it comes with many more benefits. I would also be working with people I loved working with before. I would be apart of a union.
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    I am praying and hoping that I get this new position so I can give him a one day notice about my departure.
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    Update 1 - My boss is having me write an essay with details of my. minute by minute workday to prove I'm working hard. May 5, 2023 If you saw my last post on this subreddit, you know my boss is an ☐ hat.
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    He recently started to question my workload and the workload of my coworkers because we are all stressed and burnt out. He tried framing this assignment as him trying to help us to see if he can help us better time manage things,
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    but we've gone to him with requests and feeback before and keep getting told "You just have to work harder, that's what I do."
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    I had to block off my entire calendar to do this task today but I am going to write the most obnoxious and highly detailed essay just to Shim off.
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    In grad school, I was notorious for overwriting and taking my time to "get to the point." Who knew that fun little skill would come in handy today.
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    To answer the two popular questions: 1. No, I can't quit on the spot because I can't afford it. 2. Yes, I am looking for other jobs/actively applying.
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    Edit: Thank you everyone for the suggestions :) I wrote the essay using parts of and it came out to 8 pages long single spaced. I would share snippets of it but it does have identifying details about my clients and work place. If my boss has a reaction to this, I will share it to the subreddit!
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    Update 2 June 23, 2023 Many people asked me if I could give an update on this situation at work. The essay, which turned out to be 8 pages long, did not help me at all. If anything, it ignited a fire of retaliation on his end (which was my full intention).
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    My boss, being the narcissist that he is, came to the conclusion that although I provided all the deliverables and met all the expectations we set out... I am just not "living up to his standards" and he would like to conduct a performance review with me. He will also be having me do a performance improvement plan.
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    I questioned him heavily in our last meeting about the necessity of a performance review if I am performing to the expectations set out. He tried to claim that there was something serious that needs to be addressed and he needs HR and the Executive Director
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    involved. He tried to say he was going to be giving me "constructive criticism" but his constructive criticism consists of creating elaborate lies about my work ethic. He tries to cover up his mistakes, terrible memory, and lack of organization by blaming his staff.
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    In my last performance review, he told HR and the ED that I never finish my work and that I make mistakes... that was the first time I had ever heard about that. Our project management system captures everything and it shows that I am on track, no late tasks, and complete all work given to me.
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    I will be quitting before he tries to conduct this performance review. I have been interviewing at other places with better pay and benefits.
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    My entire organization is falling apart and four people have quit within a month (we are a staff of less than 40). I am jumping ship at the perfect moment!
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    EDIT: Thank you all for your support and suggestions! To answer the most popular questions: 1. I am going to quit on the spot within the next two weeks, I am not sticking around to
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    be gaslighted any longer. 2. The essay was already written with the assistance of C 3. Yes, I've been applying and interviewing at other places :) 4. HR, the Executive Director, and the CEO at my
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    nonprofit organization do not care about their employees. They have a high turnover rate for a reason and they retaliate against any staff that brings up concerns. They won't fire you but they will make your life a living until you quit.
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    FINAL EDIT: I hear some of your concerns about the hostile work environment and will be contacting the Department of Labor. I also wanted to address all the folks in the comments who are assuming that I am being irresponsible by quitting. I have
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    other options lined up, I'm waiting for responses. I will NOT be staying at this job and waiting to get fired. I have been hospitalized from the stress that my work has been putting on my heart condition, this
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    will not end well if I stay. I am in my mid 20's, an athlete, and hold a graduate degree. I shouldn't stay to prove a point, I should go where I'm valued!
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    NEW UPDATES Update 3 July 21, 2023 Since I had so many people in my message requests and comments the last couple of days begging for an update from this post, I thought I would jump on here and close this little journey of mine out.
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    To make it VERY clear, I am leaving this job soon (Interviewing with a couple of different universities right now) and I work at a non-profit that is very disorganized. There is no way I am sticking around to get fired to prove a point, there is no severance pay in this org.
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    I tried to take some of your comments and my family's advice by going to HR to bring up the issues that have been occurring with my boss in terms of him lying about my work ethic,
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    micromanaging me, and alluding to firing me. HR did not care at all and tried to tell me that she cannot document my complaint even though I have a paper trail because it is "He said, she said and then there is the actual truth." Also
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    fun fact, she kept calling me by the wrong name AND said "I don't even know what you do here."
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    During my next meeting with my boss, I was brutally honest with him about his poor management style (obviously in a professional way). He tried to not make it
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    obvious that HR came to him and told him everything because he said "Concerned coworkers have come forward to tell me some things you have been saying." But
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    none of my coworkers know the extent of the issues and only HR knew the specific details he ended up bringing up. He gaslighted me the entire time saying "I never said
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    this, you misinterpret me and by the way, I document every single thing we talk about so you must be confused." I shut him down with only facts and just stared at him while he tried to rewrite the reality of everything. He kept begging me to say anything that could make him he could feel better (LOL).
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    He ended the conversation by admitting that we are having a performance review and putting together a PIP not because of my actual performance but because I "misinterpret" everything (I'm
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    assuming he means the long minute-by-minute essay). I can promise you all... I do not misinterpret anything, especially with my message screenshots with him, the voice recordings I have taken of him, and our project management system exchanges.
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    I do not care anymore, my ED does not care, and nor does my CEO. Our Board of Directors is basically non-existent so there is no one else I can go to for help.
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    All of the jobs I have been interviewing for are 15k-20k differences in the pay I receive now and the benefits are AMAZING. I will not fight to stay at a place that only gives 3 days of sick pay, 6 days of PTO, and 4 paid holidays off.
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    I have learned from this experience that you should never never NEVER back down from your truth even if it means writing an 8- page overtly detailed essay about my work tasks to prove a point. Thank you all for your support! :)
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    Update 4 - "If you want to leave, please give us 6 months notice" and Im only giving one days notice now. Aug 19, 2023 My toxic work environment has just worn me down.
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    Any piece of solution or feedback I give to my organization always lands me in the conversation of "You can either be a team player or you can transition to another job outside of our org but please give us 6 months notice so we have enough time to find someone for your role"
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    They really couldn't fire me because I was the only one running my program. They also can't afford unemployment.
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    Well, I received a job offer yesterday and I will be making 20k more a year than I currently make at my organization.
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    My plan is to give a one days notice after having my boss and the executive team tell me to basically quit and to give them a couple months notice.... yeah, Im good.
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    The icing on the cake is that two others in my team are putting their two weeks in at the end of next week so my organization is really about to feel the wrath of the underpaid and overworked.
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    Sometimes being professional doesn't matter to me when I know that they weren't professional at all in the first place.
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    EDIT: There are weirdly folks in the comments who think that I work in corporate or some technical industry. I currently work in non- profit and I am transitioning back into higher education.
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    I don't care about "burning bridges" with an organization that is notorious for high turnover and treats their employees like children.
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    Everyone who has worked with me that isn't my manager or the executive team is willing to be my reference no matter what.
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    Finally, I am not just walking out because although I hate my organization, I don't hate my actual job. I work with disadvantaged youth and I want the opportunity to say goodbye to them because I know I won't have any way to do that once I leave.
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    EDIT #2: I am a female... For all the people not understanding or grasping, I didn't leave earlier because I live paycheck to paycheck.
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    A lot of people in the comments are creating assumptions that I am quitting to throw a "tantrum" instead of communicating. None of you have been on my email threads, in my meetings, or in my slack messages to see how I've professionally defended myself.
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    Everything my organization has an issue with has to do with non-work related things.
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    Update 5 Aug 26, 2023 For the people who were asking for an update!
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    I took a lot of your advice into consideration and did not even give a notice. I just sent an immediate resignation. I waited till my paperwork with HR was confirmed to be done at my new
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    job before I walked out. I said goodbye to a handful of other coworkers and just went to go hang out with family. I have been taking a little vacation before I officially start on Monday.
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    For all the people assuming I am a man, work at a fortune 500 company or in corporate... I am a female and I was working in non- profit. A very toxic npo as well.
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    My former employer took a whole day to acknowledge my resignation and just said they were "sad to see me go" but I know I caught them off guard. They are trying to keep it a secret at work
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    but people notice my Slack account was d so I have been getting messages and phone calls from coworkers. They were all proud of me and wished they could do the same.
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    This caught everyone off guard. I was sitting in meetings that morning talking about the future because I wanted to make it less suspicious that I was leaving.
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    To all the bootlickers on my last post who wished that my job offer fell through so I could "learn a lesson" or that I'm "burning bridges", you are actually so vile.
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    There is no bridge I need to run back to, these are two different industries lol I worked in higher education for about 6 years before I made the transfer into nonprofit because I was passionate about the mission.
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    I soon found out that my CEO and management cared more about themselves and the donors than the people we served. I waltzed back into higher education and was welcomed back with a bigger pay.
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