'She has cried at almost every event': Woman Cries About Cat She Didn’t Even Know Existed, Mother-in-Law Tells Her to Stop Making Everything About Her

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Sep 15, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Family dinners are meant for good food, laughter, and swapping stories about the good ol' days. But this one veered into the realm of awkward family drama that's apparently all too familiar. The family was sharing warm memories of a beloved cat who had passed away long before the daughter-in-law even made her grand entrance. But instead of sharing in the nostalgia, the daughter-in-law started sobbing as if she had just lost her own furry friend.

The family tried their best to offer awkward pats on the back and sympathetic looks, but the situation just grew more uncomfortable. Enter the mother-in-law, who had clearly reached her limit with the daughter-in-law's constant emotional theatrics. In a moment of exasperation, she told her daughter-in-law to stop making everything about herself. The mother-in-law felt this was a necessary reality check, but her son—who is the daughter-in-law's husband—wondered if she might have overstepped just a tad.

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  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole ⚫8 hr. Thin-Show2821 AITA for Telling My Daughter-in-Law "OMG, Not Everything is About You" When She Got Emotional Over a Cat?
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  • 02
    I have had ongoing issues with my daughter-in-law (33F). She tends to make a lot of situations about her, even when it doesn't seem appropriate. Really she is very sensitive and it happens almost every even. My son (35M) and she
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    have been married for five years, and while I've tried to get along with her, this habit is becoming harder to deal with. Recently, during a family gathering, we were talking about our old family cat. This cat has been dead for 12 years. She has
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  • 04
    never met this cat and I don't even think she has seen a picture of her. The conversation was lighthearted, with us sharing fond memories of the cat, mostly about how dumb she was (she was an orange cat and had a single brain cell). Out of nowhere, my DIL
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  • 05
    started crying and talking about how she how sad it was that the car is dead. She got really emotional, and the whole conversation shifted to comforting her. People were either trying to get her to calm down and standing around confused/uncomfortable.
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  • 06
    This has happens beofre and I multiple people have brought it up. Usally she ends up crying and my son is very overprotective of her at this point. I think she has cried at almost every event.
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    In the moment, I was frustrated and said, "OMG, not everything is about you, you didn't even know the cat". My son immediately got defensive and told me I was being insensitive and she started crying harder, and now both of them are
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    upset with me. My son think I was and need to apologize. a AITA for saying that when she got emotional over a cat?
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    • Reasonable-Ad-3605 8h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] NTA. Part of being an adult is learning how to control your emotions. Yes cats dying is sad, but her response is not appropriate.
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    mrmses • 8h ago Edited 6h ago Partassipant [2] UPDATE: a few comments below have suggested the possibility that the girl might have a mood. disorder, or just be overly empathetic, and it's not based on attention or jealousy. So OP, before you go all scorched earth on this girl, please present a few more facets of her personality. Does she love your son with grace and honesty and kindness? Does she
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    treat others around her with respect and happiness? If so, maybe you've got an empathetic daughter in law! NTA. But you need to see her behavior for what it is. It's called emotional manipulation, and she has your son wrapped up tight. She likes his attention probably everyone's - attention - and she's learned that when she is upset, she can get all of the attention shifted to her.
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  • 12
    I'd start practicing some version of ignoring, exiting the situation. Like, she bursts out crying about the cat, and everyone stops talking and looks at her. If it was just the three of you (DIL, son, you), I'd just get up and exit the room. If it was a full family group, I'd probably say something like, "oh dear. you seem extremely upset about this. We're going to head into the kitchen for a moment and give you a little bit of space."
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  • 13
    If you talk directly to your son about his wife's behavior, chances are he's going to push back and get angry and say that you're the one manipulating. It's because he enjoys feeling like the protector of her, and she enjoys having his attention in this way. I shudder to imagine them with children. Babies are cute and take a ton of attention away from grown ups. Your DIL is not going to like that.
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  • 14
    t3hdon • 7h ago Pooperintendant [65] Info: so shes cried at every event and your response has been "she needs to stop" instead of "hey (son), im concerned, is your wife ok? Is she this emotional at home? is she in therapy?"
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    Melodic-Divide 1790 . 7h ago NTA She sounds insufferable. To salvage the relationship, I'd probably go to both of them and say something like: The way I snapped wasn't kind and I apologize for my reaction.
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    In truth, I am concerned. Getting overly emotional so often over innocuous topics/situations makes me worried you're dealing with something deeper. I'm here to support you in finding an appropriate person who may be able to help you get to the root of things. Moving forward, we will remove ourselves from the situation to afford you the privacy you need in these emotional moments to gather yourself.
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    HUNGWHITEBOI25 Enthusiast [6] • 7h ago ...a 33 year old woman started hysterically crying over a cat that died over a decade ago (who she never met) ... Op you're NTA but like...is...is DIL ok...? Like this...isn't normal behaviour.
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    Someone You DontKnow70 • 8h ago Commander in Cheeks [238] NTA. Crying over someone else's cat who has been dead for 12 years already is not normal. This girl sounds really manipulative, and I'm afraid that you played right into it her attention-seeking scheme by calling her out like that. Have you tried suggesting that your son take her into a separate room to calm down? That way you don't seem
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    unsympathetic, and she can get the attention that she craves from your son without ruining the whole event for the rest of the family.
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  • 20
    New_Discussion_6692 • 7h ago My daughter is similar to your DIL. She is overly compassionate/empathetic when hearing of others' loss and emotional pain. I'm the "stiff upper lip" kind and do not cry in public, so it's difficult for me to relate to her at times. Maybe next time you could say something along the lines of, "we appreciate your empathy, but these are happy memories for us, and your crying is making all of us uncomfortable. "
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    incrediblewombat • 7h ago I'm sympathetic because I would probably cry hearing about a beloved pet's passing because it would make me think of that happening to my cats. Also I'm pregnant so I cry about literally everything.
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  • 22
    Reading all these comments about DIL being "manipulative" is hard because some people are more sensitive and it's not trying to get attention it's just having feels that can be hard to regulate
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  • 23
    "OMG, not everything is about you.' "
    via Tima Miroshnichenko

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entitled family drama daughter in law kids parenting in laws mother in law family daughter Reddit crying entitled people
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