Health-Conscious Mom Secretly Throws Away Mother-in-Law’s Cookies for Grandkids, MIL Kicks Her Out Causing a Major Meltdown: 'I will not be apologizing'

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  • 01
    AITA for losing my over cookies when my DIL tossed them out
  • 02
    I am a good baker, I enjoy making sweet treats for everyone to enjoy. My DIL (Emily) is very heath conscious and even more so now that's they have two kids. She is the type of person who avoids sugars, mostly eats organic, and avoids processed foods.
  • 03
    When the grandkids visit I usally make cookies or something sweet for them to enjoy. Every single times she sees them she usually goes on about how they are unhealthy. We got into an argument about this a few months ago about not giving the kids junk. I
  • 04
    pointed out everything is homemade and I am not only serving them cookies. My son stepped in on this and we compromised that the kids can have one cookie when they are here.
  • 05
    This was good for a while until yesterday. The kids came over last night and I made a batch of cookies. They were cooling on the rack. Emily and my son decided to chat a bit before heading out. During that time
  • 06
    Emily went into the kitchen and throw away the cookies. When I asked her why she did it, she claimed I was doing me a favor since they are unhealthy.
  • 07
    I told yelled at her saying that she had no right to throw away food that I had worked hard to make. She got defensive and said she was just trying to help. My son stepped in and told me to calm down, but I was furious.
  • 08
    Emily left the room in tears, and now my son is saying I overreacted and should apologize. I told my son that I will not be babysitting until he handles this situation and i will not apologize
  • 09
    . mfruitfly 6h ago Aficionado [15] NTA. Yes, parents get to decide how their children eat, and I think other people should respect that, unless it creates a burden (aka, if they want kids to eat vegan, but it is difficult to cook a separate meal, or they want specific foods but are unwilling to pay for those foods).
  • 10
    In this case, you could not serve the kids cookies at all, even if you are doing them a favor by babysitting. But you all COMPROMISED and agreed the kids could each have a cookie. And your DIL didn't just decide her kids couldn't have cookies, she threw away cookies for YOU, that you made, with your own ingredients.
  • 11
    You need to be clear with your son, you all agreed to this compromise, and it was incredible for your DIL to throw away your own food in your own home, and there is NO excuse for that. Would he be okay with you going in to their home and opening up the cupboards and throwing away anything you wanted? No of course not. If DIL had decided she didn't want her kids to have cookies, she could have said that, instead she destroyed YOUR property.
  • 12
    You have nothing to apologize for, you didn't even call her names, you just yelled at her about the exact thing she did wrong. SHE needs to apologize to you and fully recognize that she drastically overstepped in what is appropriate in someone else's home. She wasn't trying to "help" and they both know that, and I wouldn't let them back in my home at all until they could fully appreciate that and apologize.
  • 13
    quietgrrrlriot • 6h ago NTA - how is throwing out food not an overreaction? DIL has a ferociously unhealthy relationship with food if she can't even control her actions around food that doesn't belong to her. Food isn't healthy or unhealthy, it's just food. If she cared so much, she could teach her child about moderation and making choices that are good for their body, rather micromanaging what the people around her consume.
  • 14
    You've already come to a reasonable compromise regarding what the children your home. eat while in If the DIL apologizes for throwing out your food, it is only fair to apologize for raising your voice and/or using unkind words— but she disrespected you in your own home, it's absurd that she thinks you would thank her for it.
  • 15
    anothertypicalcmmnt • 6h ago Aficionado [12], NTA What in the world gave Emily the idea she could throw away cookies in someone else's home. She doesn't even have the excuse that she thought they were old or stale or some how not good to eat, because you said they were on a cooling. rack!!! Emily owes you an apology, because she clearly overstepped in your home. She has a right to say what she wants her kids to eat or not eat but does not have that right over what you eat and what you have in yo
  • 16
    drdish2020 • 6h ago Edited 5h ago Enthusiast [6] I'm a baker and this would tick me off something fierce. But, more importantly - you're babysitting, right? It's not just that they're visiting. You're taking care of the kids so your son and DIL can go out. ... And of course they're not paying you.
  • 17
    So yeah, NTA. You all agreed that one cookie would be all right, and presumably you would give them one from that batch, but your DIL went and threw them all out. And all that, before she + your son got to go out, while you did free work for them? The entitlement; it burns.
  • 18
    SeekingAnswersaaa • 6h ago NTA. If someone came into my home and threw out all the food I had just made, they would not be invited back. Even if SHE didn't want cookies, others in your home may have wanted some. I grew up with a mom who made everything from scratch. However, she and my dad were so strict about treats that when my sibling and I had access to them, we went bonkers. The initial compromise of one cookie per visit was a good one.
  • 19
    Less-Classic-9021 . 6h ago NTA. DIL sounds like a bully who uses health as a pretext to control people around her. If this was about health, DIL could recommend baking recipes that don't call for tons sugar and butter, there are vegan, lactose and gluten free, low carb etc etc recipes. Also, taboo foods often lead to eating disorders, it's definitely better to teach kids moderation, that right out ban stuff.
  • 20
    XxQueenOfSwordsXx 6h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [47] ESH. Obviously your DIL for throwing out the cookies. It's disrespectful and controlling, a trait I'm sure ripples throughout many parts of her life, but especially regarding food and possibly her body.
  • 21
    You pulled the "but I'm the grandmother!" card with cookies in general. To your DIL, sugar and processed foods are poison and horrible for her kids bodies. It doesn't have to make sense to you. That's her position. Those are her kids, not yours. You had your chance to raise your kids, now it's your son & DIL.
  • 22
    By continually pushing, you are dismissing her parental believes. To her, you're that overbearing MIL who pushes sweets onto her kids. To you, you're not. But to her you are- and that's whose voice counts. It probably drives her crazy to know they are still eating one cookie each, which most likely lead to her throwing all your cookies out.

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