14-year-old pulls out classmate's feeding tube, principal asks victim to apologize or be suspended for 2 weeks for defending herself: 'Just suspend me for the 2 weeks'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 11, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

How are you supposed to respond to school bullies? The advice "fight back" or "just ignore it" is often touted as a solution, but I don't think either is effective for ending verbal harassment. When kids teased me in school, I gave them neutral-one-word responses like "cool" or "okay." They wanted to get a rise out of me, and once they realized that it wasn't going to happen and I wasn't seething in silence, the teasing swiftly stopped. 

But what do you do if someone isn't just teasing and they're actively violent? It's dehumanizing to tell someone, even a child, that they shouldn't stand up for themselves and should take the punches and turn the other cheek. 16-year-olds aren't Christ, and they shouldn't have to be pacifists to not get in trouble, but school administrations don't tolerate any violence, even if it's in defense of much crueler and invasive violence.

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    Cheezburger Image 10402620160
    via Allef Vinicius

    Photo does not depict the real subject in the story

  • 02
    Aitah for breaking a girl's rib.
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 03
    I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I have a feeding tube because my esophagus is partially paralyzed. The feeding tube in question goes in through my nose. The reason I have it in my nose, as opposed to my stomach, is because it's a little easier to manage. There's this girl in my class named Jane (14F), and she's a bully. She would always make gestures towards her nose, or she would take her headphone cord and put it on her face like my feeding tube is on mine.
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 04
    At first, I just ignored her. I thought she was curious about it, which is understandable since it's different, and it's normal to be weirded out by something you've never seen before. I'm always okay with people asking me questions because I know it's natural to be curious. So, I told her it's a feeding tube and that if she was curious, she could ask me anything about it and I wouldn't be offended. But no, that wasn't the case-she was just being
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 05
    One day, I was talking to one of my friends at lunch when Jane came up behind me, grabbed my tube, and pulled it partially out. I don't even need to explain why that's dangerous. I immediately turned around and punched her as hard as I could. I ended up giving her a black eye, then kicked her in the stomach, which broke one of her ribs. Jane was on the floor crying when the security guard walked up to us and asked what had happened. I told them what she did.
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 06
    I was taken to the principal's office, where I was lectured about how what I did was wrong. I don't really remember the lecture. The principal then said, "You have two options: we can either call your grandparents, make you apologize to the girl, and suspend you for two days, or we can suspend you for two weeks." I said, "Just suspend me for the two weeks."
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 07
    When I got home, my grandparents were mad. I explained the situation to them, but I don't know what happened to Jane. I want to know if I went too far with breaking one of her ribs. I did get the tube figured out, and she didn't cause much damage. I just need an outside perspective on what happened.
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 08
    Update I found out that Jane, got expelled. I'm gonna clear the air. My grandparents have fully been on my side. And Jane has also been made to apologize to me.
    via u/Yyyyyyygggguyg
  • 09
    PinkMonorail Good job. She FAFO.
    via u/PinkMonorail
  • 10
    NotAtThesePricesBaby And when you get back to school, glare with uninterrupted eye contact and crack your knuckles. Dare her to touch you again.
    via u/NotAtThesePricesBaby
  • 11
    RobinPage1987 Jane was expelled. She ain't coming back
    via u/RobinPage1987
  • 12
    nizzerp NTA It boils my blood how the bully always gets off in these situations that they obviously brought upon themselves.
    via u/nizzerp
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    Greedy Pudding3506 I was thinking the same thing. This is why people never learn to stand up & defend themselves. They get in trouble.
    via u/Greedy_Pudding3506
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    boltmaker12 Yea and wait till OP gets older and starts working and finds out that bullies become bosses. You will have to learn to sort out when the boss is giving a direct order that you need to obey or if the boss is just harassing you because he feels like a little person inside. That's when you have to harass back so that he knows there will be opposition when he harasses.
    via u/boltmaker12
  • 15
    Bababababababaa123 It's called selfdefence, OP should not be in trouble.
    via u/Bababababababaa123
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    FeedbackCreative8334 Ideally that would be the case, but in most public schools in the USA if you physically defend yourself when you are attacked, you face the same punishment as the attacker. It's because the school system is set up to defend and enable the most predatory people they can possibly find.
    via u/FeedbackCreative8334
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    the_rowry At my first highschool (in Australia) you could be punished just for being near a fight, even if you were just passing by and you weren't filming, it just taught people to leave the scene without trying to hated that school help a victim,
    via u/the_rowry
  • 18
    westcoast-islandgirl I don't have a feeding tube and know nothing but the absolute basics about them, and I was immediately on OP's side. Touching someone else's medical equipment or devices at all is unacceptable, let alone touching a device they need to survive in a way that can cause significant damage. That broken rib is a much needed lesson for Jane. Definitely NTA, OP. I'm glad you were lucky, and her stupidity didn't cause any damage.
    via u/westcoast-islandgirl
  • 19
    Bathsheba_E 100% NTA. You had an instantaneous response to protect your body. Your tube is part of your body. I'm so sorry the adults in your life aren't supporting you. Stay strong. Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong.
    via u/Bathsheba_E
  • 20
    ButterflyWings71 i was a pediatric nurse for years and what the bully did was extremely dangerous. She was the aggressor and the grandparents should be outraged OP was blamed for protecting herself. I would have OP's MD write a formal letter on how dangerous what the bully did (she's old enough to know better). Honestly, the bully should be charged with assault if it is possible where OP lives.
    via u/ButterflyWings71

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teens lunch break bully teen teenager principal teenagers feeding tube classmates lunch high school grandparents reddit thread Reddit bullying
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