'He told me I'd have to figure it out': Teen stops driving altogether to get back at father's strict rules, dad immediately regrets it

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

This teen is annoyed by their Dad piling on the responsibility, and they finally found a way out of it. 

In some families, there are so many kids that the other siblings have to help out to care for everyone. This was quite common in the past, when families were much bigger than they are today (think 4-10 kids instead of 1 or 2). People like u/hankiepanki were responsible for caring for large families. This person reported that they were cooking and cleaning for between 8-10 people after their mom passed away, taking on a massive burden as the youngest child. They also did quite a lot of driving for their siblings, too. 

Learning to drive as a 16-year-old can be so liberating for many teenagers, but for this person, it just spelled out more responsibilities. Once they got a car, they realized they'd not only be caring for the household duties at home, but also doing things outside of the house, like getting groceries and taxiing the kids between school and home. They told the malicious compliance tale of the day they finally told their Dad they'd had enough, as you can read about down below. 

Up next, these people are wondering, "Should I be mad?" over a bunch of products that didn't meet their expectations. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10403316224
    via Kamil Pomykała on Unsplash

    Image does not depict the actual subject of the story. 

  • 02
    I don't want the car I'm not a malicious person, though I do feel some joy reading this sub. First off, my dad was a great man, he was just dumb sometimes. Lol
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 03
    Some background: I am one of the youngest from a very large family. My mom passed away when I was 10. My dad, bless his heart, was from the generation where the man worked and the woman took care of everything at home. When my mom passed away, the responsibility of "everything at home" fell to the kids. By the time I was 11, I was regularly cooking dinner for 8-10 people. I had a long list of chores.
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 04
    Truly, it was fine. I'm sure I pitied myself some because my friends didn't have these responsibilities, but I really had a great childhood, minus the dead mom thing. When I was 16, my dad got me a car. I paid for gas with babysitting money, my dad paid for insurance and maintenance. I had to get my little sister and myself to and from school. I had to do the grocery shopping. I had to get the two of us to practices and
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 05
    meets. I had to run chores. I was responsible for driving her wherever she needed to go. My day consisted of getting to school, getting home, grocery store, making dinner if it was my turn, homework, practice, bed. Meets were on weekends. I NEVER went out. I was never in trouble. I was an honors student. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I was a good kid. All was well, relatively.
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 06
    AND THEN: my dad got a new girlfriend. Her kids were in high school with me. She told him that if I got to have a car, I should be fully responsible for it. After all, HER kids were. So my dad sat me down and said "I've decided that if you want a car, you have to pay for it. I expect you to take over payments, maintenance, and insurance." I told him I couldn't afford that. He told me I'd have to
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 07
    get a job. I said I had no time for a job. He told me I'd have to figure it out. So: cue malicious compliance, I guess. I went and got my keys and handed them to him. I told him I didn't want the car anymore. He was a little shocked, but I guess he thought I'd come crawling back for it soon. Lol
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 08
    The next morning, my sister and I "missed the bus". I had to wake him up so he could drive us to school. He was . We got a ride home from school. At 5:30, when dinner was supposed to be on the table, I was reading on the couch. He came home, "where is dinner?". I said "oh, I didn't have a car to get to the store. I'm sure there are some leftovers you can heat up". He told me I'd have to start walking to the store. I told him I didn't have time! Finals
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 09
    were coming up! Didn't he care about my grades? An hour later, I told him it was time for practice. My sister and I needed a ride to and from practice. He told me to call a friend. "Sorry, I can't. No one on the team lives in this town. It would be really out of the way for anyone else." He drove us. Then he picked us up, silently fuming the whole way.
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 10
    The next morning, oops! We missed the bus again! I had to wake him up AGAIN, plus he had no orange juice in the morning, on account of no one going to the store. Once again, no dinner on the table. He had to drive me to the store when he got home. Once again, we needed a ride to practice. I informed him that the meet that weekend was an hour away and we had to be there at 9.
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 11
    That was enough for him. It was probably the most parenting he'd done in 30 years of being a father. He called me to the top of the stairs. He tossed my car keys up to me. "I've decided you can have your car back. I'll pay for half of the payment and half of the insurance. You can only use it for school, practice,
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 12
    meets, chores, and driving your sister." I laughed, tossed the keys back and said "that's all I use it for, anyway. I don't want the car. Sell it" Five minutes later, he's SCREAMING my name from the bottom of the stairs. He overhand whips the keys up the stairs. Y'all, my dad never got mad. His new deal was he'd pay for everything but gas, but I wasn't allowed any personal use of the car. I said "so,
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 13
    I have to pay to do chores and I get no benefit from it? No, thank you" and I tossed the keys back down the stairs. Half an hour later, he demands my presence in the living room. He calmly said he would pay for everything but gas, I'd have the use of the car when I wanted but....I had to do all the stuff I'd previously been doing without complaint until his girlfriend got into his head. He didn't phrase it
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 14
    like that, of course. Then he said "I hope you learned a lesson here". I did. Lol, I certainly did. Edit: y'all, please refrain from calling my dad a etc. He died several years ago. I loved him very much and you're bumming me out. He raised us to the best of his abilities and all his kids are happy, fairly successful, and very, very close. Please just enjoy the story of malicious. compliance and teenage triumph.
    via u/hankiepanki
  • 15
    NRNstephaniemor... Your father was not really thinking it seems, and the GF's kids probably has time for being social, that you didn't have.
    via u/NRNstephaniemorelli
  • 16
    ranran_1822 I mean you were doing all the things he should have been doing so it's not like you were out joy riding or hanging with friends all the time. You were constantly running errands. Sounds like he should have paid for the car at least since he was expecting you to do everything he should have been doing as a parent.
    via u/ranran_1822
  • 17
    monstercat45 Once my mom tried to take my car away for something. stupid, I believe it was because I hadn't made my bed or done the dishes, so she said she was going to take my car away. My parents were divorced so she called my dad and he said so you realize that
    via u/monstercat45
  • 18
    would mean you would have to drive her to and from school, work, and my extracurriculars. She didn't take away my car.
    via u/monstercat45
  • 19
    [deleted] He wants you doing all that for his family on your own gas money? He should've been paying for everything including gas, then paying you a little extra for your time. I feel for the guy with his wife dying, but you were already doing more than your part. Good for you standing up to him though. You knew you had him by the
    via u/[deleted]
  • 20
    zeus204013 Why you have to pay for gas if you go to do chores, grocery, driving your sister? He has to pay all the gas for that!!
    via u/zeus204013
  • 21
    firedmyass is up with step-parents coming in and making sweeping edicts to a household with it's own well-established dynamics? The AUDACITY.
    via u/firedmyass

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